Ep. 99: Combating Self Doubt with Rosie McCorvey of Brows and Beauty Company
"Am I good enough?"
"Do I belong?"
Have you found yourself asking these questions at some point in your life? Maybe even for the majority of it? ME. TOO.
Why? Reasons like "Because I never went to college," "Because I was a chubby kid," "Because I was never really athletic," whatever it might be, I think everybody asks these questions of themselves.
In this episode, Rosie McCorvey and I tackle self-doubt. If you feel like you still have something to prove, if you feel like you still don't truly belong, you can't miss this one! This episode is FOR YOU.
We talk about imposter syndrome, how it feeds your self-doubt, and what to do with it.
Rosie heads up the discussion about the difference between discipline and motivation and how one will be the driving force of you building your empire.
We also talk about how even in the middle of a pandemic you are NOT limited! I talk about utilizing online platforms and building relationships with people that are ESSENTIAL to building your business!
Carpe Diem? We unpack the essence of the phrase by challenging self-doubt in this episode. You don't wanna miss it!
Here are the episode highlights:
‣‣ [06:15] Rosie kicks off the discussion by asking the hard question, "What would you tell yourself 10 years ago?"
‣‣ [07:52] I talk about imposter syndrome and the questions that can nag nag nag at you and feed on your self-doubt until you address them.
‣‣ [18:31] Rosie focuses on the importance of being fully invested in what you're doing and promoting in your business.
‣‣ [20:47] PANDEMIC?? This is where I talk about how even a pandemic can't mess up your business but can help it.
‣‣ [23:46] Right here is where I tackle uncertainty, and how to face it head-on instead of falling into the self-doubt that can build from it.
‣‣ [26:18] Here's a hard question for you to ask yourself: "Do I enjoy working hard at (fill in the blank)?" I talk about stability and how this question factors into it in this part of the podcast.
‣‣ [28:47] This is where you'll find Rosie's experience in asking herself the same hard question of enjoying working hard at what she loves. She mentions an awesome idea that will have you checking and double-checking (for the better!) your answer to the same question!
‣‣ [31:47] Here's where I talk about relationships being essential. With your co-boss babes, your students, your family, relationships are key, even if you need to build it virtually in the meantime.
‣‣ [33:51] THIS! Right here! I talk about the pain that does come with growth. Is it worth it? I answer that here.
‣‣ [35:54] What about today's opportunities?? I talk about how you still have them here and now in the middle of a pandemic at this minute mark.
‣‣ [37:30] Failure--not an option, but somehow an inevitable option. It's growth. Rosie gives her experience with failure and what to do with it to get back up.
‣‣ [45:08] Here's where it gets real with YOU, the listener. Life is long, but it's also very short. What do you make of that? At this point in the podcast, I start asking questions that you will have to unpack to find your why. Self-doubt has nowhere to go once you find the answer to that.
I NEED TO KICK SELF-DOUBT GOODBYE! (Listen Here)
I'm so thankful that I got to sit and talk with Rosie for this podcast! You can keep up with her and all things Brows and Beauty company by following her on Instagram right here!
You can follow me, Sheila Bella, on Instagram @realsheilabella!
Here are the links that were mentioned in the podcast!
Grow Your Gram
Online Course Workshop
Thread Your Way to 100k
FOR MY LISTENER BOSS BABES
You can enjoy this podcast by downloading it on iTunes here.
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FOR MY READER BOSS BABES
You can enjoy a transcript of the podcast here.
Sheila Bella:
Am I good enough? Am I good enough? Do I belong? These are the questions that have chased me for the majority of my life. Why? Because I never went to college, because I was a chubby kid, because I was never really athletic, because I had bad skin, awkward personality, whatever it might be. I think everybody asks these questions of themselves. Today, we're tackling self-doubt. If you feel like you still have something to prove, if you feel like you still don't truly belong, you can't miss this one, right here on Pretty Rich Podcast.
Welcome to the Pretty Rich podcast, where you are totally the heroine of your own story. I'm your host, Sheila Bella. I built a seven-figure beauty biz without a degree, without a fancy website, or a sugar daddy. If we hang out on here long enough, you're going to start to believe that you can do it too, because you can. What I know for sure is that if your perfect job doesn't exist, you can create it. So consider me your secret beauty biz BFF in case you need to be reminded that power is never given to you. You just have to take it.
Yes, it's scary. I know, but we're all on this journey together. So let's get real and have the talk about what it takes to create a life that's pretty rich in love, beauty, faith, wellness, and financial wealth. You ready babe? Let's dive in.
Hey friends, what's going on? I'm really excited to be here hanging out with you guys. Today, I am actually going to be playing you the audio from a really awesome live that I did with Rosie of Brows and Beauty Company. Rosie is one of my students in Online Course Workshop, and she actually just launched her new course Thread Your Way To 100K. She's doing so well. She exceeded her own expectations. I'm so, so proud of her. If Online Course Workshop interests you, or if Thread Your Way To 100K interests you, I'm going to put the link in the description so you guys don't miss out.
I just enjoyed this live so much. I enjoyed it so, so much that I decided to turn it into a podcast episode. Rosie is just one of those amazing proactive boss babes. I have to say I love the fact that she doesn't shy away from asking meaningful questions not only of herself but of other people. If you're the type that hits pause on a lot of projects, because hey, anxiety is real, and the negative thought army you find just wins most of the time, you don't want to miss this. It will light a fire under your butt cheeks, I promise. So excited to be sitting down with my girl, Rosie of Brows and Beauty Company. Here we go.
Rosie McCorvey:
Hey, Sheila.
Sheila Bella:
Hi.
Rosie McCorvey:
Hi. I'm so happy to have you on here.
Sheila Bella:
I'm excited. I'm ready for bed minus my face, but I'm all showered and ready to go enjoying my tea. I'm excited to be here. You look so pretty.
Rosie McCorvey:
Thanks. I was just telling everyone I'm so excited because I feel like there's so many people who just see where you are now maybe, and they're like, "How did she even get there? There's no way I could even get there." They just let self-doubt keep them stuck where they are instead of trying to beat that voice in their head, and realize everyone starts somewhere. I wanted to ask you. For people that don't know, 10 years ago... Sheila's an open book. She talks about everything. You guys have to follow her.
Sheila Bella:
Too open. Too open.
Rosie McCorvey:
No, not too open. You've inspired me to be more open.
Sheila Bella:
Good. Good.
Rosie McCorvey:
10 years ago, you were waitressing. You dropped out of college, I think.
Sheila Bella:
It didn't even last, I think, a month. Go.
Rosie McCorvey:
You were just like... You say that it was a low point in your life, and so it's crazy because even you, you post transformation photos from where your life was 10 years ago to where it is now. For those of you that don't know, Sheila built a seven-figure beauty business in three years. She has an empire. I hope she inspires you guys to realize you may be where she was 10 years ago.
Sheila Bella:
Absolutely. Oh, Rosie, thank you so much. You're such a light.
Rosie McCorvey:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
First of all, I want to receive that, because I think us as women, we have a hard time taking compliments. I found myself immediately wanting to compliment you because you are so awesome, and I was like, "Hold on. Take a breath. Just receive that insane compliment," and so thank you.
Rosie McCorvey:
You're welcome.
Sheila Bella:
Seriously though, you've inspired me too, all of your support and your positive energy. I feel like we're very much in alignment. I just want to thank you so much for sharing your audience with me, because you've worked very hard to build the community that you've built. It's so valuable. Even asking me to go live with you to share my story and have a conversation with me, I truly, truly appreciate it.
Rosie McCorvey:
Of course. I wanted to ask you because I feel like so many people DM me, and they're just like, "I don't know. I feel like I have so much fear in failure or fear to even get started. I have no background in the beauty industry. I have no maybe college education or business education," which I don't have a business degree or anything either. What would you tell yourself 10 years ago or someone that's in that spot? What would you say to them?
Sheila Bella:
Well, there are so many things I would say. I feel like all of us.
Rosie McCorvey:
I know.
Sheila Bella:
You guys, type in what you would say to yourself 10 years ago, because I want to read that after I'm done. For me, I think I was way... I think I would have gotten here a lot faster if I focused on being disciplined, rather than waiting for motivation, because I think what a lot of people do is they listen to a podcast. Maybe they're going to listen to this live, and they're going to feel hella pumped, right? People still say hella.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. Well, I'm saying it. People are just going to... They feel hella pumped. They got to an event or something like that. I think people should... I wish I would have known that that feeling is fleeting, and you can't rely on that feeling to carry you through building a seven-figure business or any business to be honest. You have to write it in. If people just focus on the discipline of doing what's uncomfortable, I think you'll definitely get there faster because the... I posted about it today. That self-doubt that we're talking about, that self-doubt, that feeling that…
I think people call it these days impostor syndrome, that feeling of self-doubt how you're not good enough. Nobody's going to want to buy your stuff. No one's going to want to book an appointment with you. Who are you to even speak out and do this? Who are you to message this person and ask them to do this with you or that with you? All of those things, they don't stop no matter what level you're in. I can attest that from my personal experience, but also, I have a podcast called the Pretty Rich Podcast on iTunes and Spotify and SoundCloud, thank you.
Rosie McCorvey:
That's amazing.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you. It's really great because I've been able to interview a lot of people and go really deep with a lot of people, and what I've found, it's just been an education in people that that doesn't go away. That impostor syndrome doesn't go away, so just accept that it'll just be there now. It's just there. It's just there. There's really no difference between people who cower and give in to the fear versus the people who act confidently because those negative feelings exist in both those bodies.
The only difference is the thoughts that each of those types of characters entertain. So the person that acts confidently and gets things done, actually just makes a commitment, and it's a discipline, makes a disciplined commitment to entertain the thoughts that will propel them forward versus the thoughts that hold them back. I really think that that's all it is. I don't think that person's any more confident necessarily. They just learned to swallow that pill, that, "I'm not good enough," and live with it.
Rosie McCorvey:
You just said so many good things. You all are going to have to literally re-watch this over to take some notes because that's so good. I think in life in general, not even if you're in business, if you're listening to this or even thinking about starting, discipline and motivation is two different things. I have to think about that even when I go to workout. I'm like, "I don't feel like working out, but I got to have the discipline." Discipline is going to make you go places because you're going to do it even when you don't feel like doing it.
We wake up some days and don't want to work, but you got to. I think that's really good. You actually even answered my other question. This first question is, "How do you overcome self-doubt when you have it?" I'm guessing it's like you still have it, but you just don't listen to negative thoughts."
Sheila Bella:
It's just discipline. I fall short sometimes. I fall short. I'm just like, "Oh, I gotta cry about this. I'm going to cry right now. Okay. Will, hold me. Hold me. My eyes are watery." That's my husband, Will, if you don't... I want to say that it's okay. I think people think if they have a moment of weakness or if they start crying about something or if they get overwhelmed that they've failed, that they failed completely. My five-year-old is dealing with that right now. My five-year-old is dealing with that.
He has a little bit of a setback, and he just like, "That's it." I know. I think he wants my... Who have a five-year-old? I don't know if this happens to you. Let me know if it does in the comment. My five-year-old will just throw everything away. I look at my husband, and I'm like, "That's you and me at our worst." When we're acting juvenile, we'll just be like... We got a little setback, and we just throw it all the way just like Beau is doing.
Actually, I've been telling Beau, my five-year-old... I have a three and a five-year-old. I've been telling Beau to remember who he is because it's what I wish was innate in me. Remember who you are, and I tell him to coach himself, parent himself. I said, "Mama is not going to be there all the time, baby. You need to coach yourself. If you can find a mirror, tell yourself. Only you know what you need to hear. Sometimes mama will tell you the wrong thing. Remind yourself. What do you need to hear? What makes you feel good?"
We're talking about like affirmations the other day.
Rosie McCorvey:
Absolutely.
Sheila Bella:
I asked. I asked him. I'm like, "Hi Claire. Oh my god, I love Claire Rosenberg." I asked my son. I was like, "What affirmations, what statements make you feel good, and it's so telling of Beau?" He's like, "I tell myself, girls like you." He's five. "Girls like you. People think you're funny and you're strong." He's a jock. I really think so. He's a jock.
Rosie McCorvey:
That's so funny.
Sheila Bella:
Side note, I introduced him to Ricky Martin today.
Rosie McCorvey:
Oh, I love that.
Sheila Bella:
I know. Anyway, so in a nutshell, I do think that being your own parent, learning how to be your own parent and your own coach, I think, goes a long way because we expect our parents to be there all the time, right? But they won't. They won't, and so I really... Something my therapist... My therapist, I love therapy.
Rosie McCorvey:
If you don't have a therapist, get one. Therapy is amazing.
Sheila Bella:
What's wrong with you? Get with it.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
My therapist always said this term. It's planned obsolescence. I raised him. I raised both my boys with the understanding that I will not be around. You need to go on your own. It's planned obsolescence. What about you, Rosie?
Rosie McCorvey:
Well, I think that... There was this meme going around, and it was at the beginning of this whole COVID thing. It was like, "Are you going to cry about it, or are you gonna boss up?" Then it was like, "First of all, I'm going to do both." It's so true. Yes, like, "I'm going to cry about it for a little bit, and then I'm going to boss up," but it's okay to feel how you feel, but don't let yourself get stuck there.
Sheila Bella:
No.
Rosie McCorvey:
I think that's something I actually just started doing this week is saying positive affirmations, and I think it's helped. I feel better. I just launched Thread Your Way To 100K, and I've been like, "Yes, because of you, because you helped me create my online class," so excited. If you guys want to create an online class, Sheila has an entire course on how to create a class, which is what I did to create my class, and I'm so excited. I've just been saying affirmations about it like that, "I want the right people in my class. I hope to mentor them in the best way possible, give them everything I wanted and needed, and even personal stuff."
Rosie McCorvey:
I feel like saying those things and speaking things into existence, some people think it's funny, but even before, I'm always so... You have to do it to people you trust. Say it with people you trust. I think that's really important, but speak things into existence. Say it out loud, because it sounds scary when you're saying something that you're dreaming about, and you're like, "I'm going to just say it out loud and make you a real thing."
Sheila Bella:
Can I ask you for the specifics? Would you mind sharing with me the specifics of what your affirmations are that you're... Your goals, what does your heart really want?
Rosie McCorvey:
Wow, you're putting me on the spot. I love it.
Sheila Bella:
I mean, I'll say it, but I mean, it's just... What is it? I'm so curious.
Rosie McCorvey:
I have been saying like, "I want 40 students in my Thread Your Way To 100K class." I really think and I've really made it like a math thing. With 40 students, I can truly give them each what they need, and we have a private Facebook group. It's a mentorship for a while. I'm like, "Okay, with 40 students, I can give them each what they need." I'm at 33 spots, so I only have seven left. I've been really speaking that into existence and just hoping that the right people come my way because it has to be.
You were just talking about this, I think, yesterday on your stories how you're allowed to pick your teacher, and it has to be both ways. That person has the power to pick who they want to teach them, which is so cool. It's always an honor when someone chooses me, and I don't take that lightly.
Sheila Bella:
Absolutely. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.
Rosie McCorvey:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
You're one of those students where I'm like, "Heck ya, there she goes. There she goes."
Rosie McCorvey:
Thanks. Oh, I love that.
Sheila Bella:
That's really awesome. Thread Your Way To 100K, so that course is live right now.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yeah. I just launched it on Monday. Registration is open until next Thursday, but I have a feeling the spots are going to fill up before that. So I'm going to have to close early.
Sheila Bella:
Yes. Hurry up, ladies.
Rosie McCorvey:
I love it. I'm so excited.
Sheila Bella:
Hurry up. Hurry up. Thread Your Way To 100K, can you explain that title to me a little bit?
Rosie McCorvey:
Yeah. I am actually for the first time ever, I've been teaching eyebrow threading and shaping in person and online before, but I've only taught the technique. For the first time ever, I'm actually teaching you how... well, not you, but teaching you that are watching how I turned literally eyebrow threading a piece of thread, because I did that before I did permanent makeup or anything, into a six-figure business. I'm actually doing business coaching calls as well as teaching the service step by step how I started and grew my business to six figures.
This is the first time I'm ever teaching it. I always... I didn't know if people would be interested in that aspect, but I feel like you can't just... In the beauty industry, I'm sure you agree, you can't just know a service. Knowing the business behind it is so important. If you learn a service but you don't know how to market yourself, how to present yourself on social media, which I can't wait for Grow Your Gram course coming out-
Sheila Bella:
Oh my god, I'm so excited for that too.
Rosie McCorvey:
If you don't know how to market yourself and the business side, then it's really hard to turn a service into a salary or a business. I'm really excited.
Sheila Bella:
You got that right. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited for you. Now, can anyone take this course? Do you have to be an aesthetician? Do you have to be a cosmetologist? I mean, I don't know, I guess it might be different between each state. Can even permanent makeup artists who don't have a cosmetology license thread legally? Do you know the answer to that?
Rosie McCorvey:
In most states, Kentucky is one of them. California is one of them.
Sheila Bella:
Sweet.
Rosie McCorvey:
Most of them, you do not need a cosmetology license or an aesthetician license. I don't have either actually to thread. I'm not a cosmetologist or an aesthetician, just a licensed tattoo artist and threading.
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh, that is a game changer.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
For a lot people who aren't busy, you can just thread people's brows.
Rosie McCorvey:
Exactly.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you.
Rosie McCorvey:
What's amazing about it is it brings new people in.
Sheila Bella:
It does.
Rosie McCorvey:
It's hard to get or it's harder to get a new client to come in for a $500 service if they don't even know you, but if you offer a service like threading, it's a way for that person to feel it out. See if they like you, meet you without, and then that will lead to the other services without spending a lot.
Sheila Bella:
Sign me up, because I have nine technicians right now at Sheila Bella who are waiting around for this state to reopen. I'm down.
Rosie McCorvey:
Oh, yay.
Sheila Bella:
Maybe you've been hearing for several years how important it is to have multiple streams of income just in case your business was forced to close due to a global pandemic. Wow, plot twist, right? The world is changing right before our eyes, and online connection is becoming essential. If you've ever thought about building your own online course, now is the perfect time to capitalize on this. There has never been a more lucrative time to be a digital entrepreneur. You can make money from home as a beauty boss.
I am confident that I can help you do it because I am you. I am an artist, not tech savvy at all. I didn't consider myself the absolute best, but I figured it out. I'm so thankful that I had multiple streams of income to sustain my family and my business during this time, and I want you to be next. If you've ever thought about building an online course, there has never been a better time in the history of the world to be an online entrepreneur.
I want to show you step by step actionable strategies that you can start using right away to build your own online course that will serve your audience. I want you to know that no matter what gets thrown your way, I'm going to be here to help you overcome it by sharing the same strategies I'm using that are working for me in real time. Let's do this. Just go to sheilabella.com/onlinecourseworkshop. That's sheilabella.com/onlinecourseworkshop. For a limited time, if you use the code podcast, you can get 10% off, and I'll see you in class.
Rosie McCorvey:
... because I have had a lot of people messaged me too and asked me, "How do you feel, or I want to join the beauty industry, but I'm nervous. This COVID-19 thing made me realize maybe I need to be in the medical field where that's never going to go out or something." How do you feel like-
Sheila Bella:
Good luck.
Rosie McCorvey:
I know. What do you say to people who think like maybe the beauty industry isn't the most secure business to go into?
Sheila Bella:
It is what you make it.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
The medical field could also be super insecure or unstable. There's risks everywhere you go. For me, it is what you make of it. I think the key with any industry that you go into is to... if your goal is truly stability is to have multiple streams of income. That's true stability.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
I believe most millionaires have at least five different streams of income.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yeah. You're the queen of that.
Sheila Bella:
I think it's really important for any industry that you choose to go into to understand that like, "What is this uncertainty thing? What is this uncertainty thing?" I just heard it an hour ago. I forgot who said it, but if you avoid uncertainty at all costs, if you try your best and focus all of your energy into escaping uncertainty, you're missing the point.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
You're missing the point of life. You're missing the point of it all, because anything that is worthwhile and meaningful requires you to step into the uncertain and risk something, so whether that's embarrassment or it's a financial risk. This whole COVID-19 thing is really fascinating to me. It's fascinating to me. For the first two weeks of it, I was depressed.
Rosie McCorvey:
Who wasn't?
Sheila Bella:
We're all, but I was mourning the postponement of my event. There were so many things that I... I mean, my husband was... I'll be honest with you. I had a breakdown. I was on the floor crying like a baby. I needed to like... It's almost like when you cry... I don't know if any other woman feels this way probably. When you cry, it's not even like you're in that state. It's like a stage, and it's like as if you're just like you just drank too much, and now you're just vomiting out the poison.
It feels that way. It actually is helping as you're doing it. The more tears, and then you're okay, so that's how I view crying. I feel like some men or people in general, genderalized, might not understand that. Anyway, so the first few two weeks of COVID, we were all just negotiating this thing. We're all bargaining. We're like, "No. No. No. No. " We're just all in denial. The thing now, I think, most people are innovating. They're understanding that you need multiple streams of income.
For people who... I think the thing that's stable, like I said, is multiple streams of income, but I think the thing that's stable is, "Do you enjoy working hard at the thing?"
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
For example, I've coached people before who were not in the beauty industry at all, were doing something completely differently and then moved into the beauty industry, and was like, "Oh my gosh," and had more of the passion for it even though they had the education to be a doctor or a lawyer or something like that, but this held their attention. Something my husband, who's a high school teacher, always teaches to his kids is what is the thing that you enjoy working hard at?
You're going to have to work hard no matter what. No matter what you choose, you're going to have to work hard. What is the thing you enjoy working hard at where even at the end, if you failed, you could look back and say, "That was fun. That was so much fun?" I think whatever that thing is, you'll be successful in. If that is the beauty industry, it can be super secure. I have a brick and mortar that's shut down right now. I also have turned my beauty expertise into an online business.
I've been doing it now for two and a half years, and so have you, Rosie.
Rosie McCorvey:
Thank you. Yes.
Sheila Bella:
I think for anybody who's interested in entering into any field, not just the beauty industry, that they're unfamiliar with, I think that those are the things that you need to have a serious discussion with yourself, have a sales meeting with yourself. Like, "Will you enjoy this even if you fail?" I think that's it.
Rosie McCorvey:
That's so true. I'm so happy you said that, and to go off what you said in the beginning, I think growth happens. I know it does when you're uncomfortable. If you are even nervous about it or excited about it, it means you're probably doing the right thing. I think growth doesn't happen in your comfort zone, so you have to step out of that, and that's where great things happen. You have to do things that scare you a little bit excite you in the same way. I chase that feeling honestly.
Then also I always... When I went to college, I don't use my degree. It's completely something different, but I would always feel bad because I'm like, "I don't really care about school. I just did it because I thought I had to do it." I had a lot of jobs, and I would work hard at them but not as hard as I work for Brows and Beauty Company. I truly do think when you love what you're doing... I think what's a lie is people who say, "When you love what you're doing, you don't work a day. You don't work."
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh, I agree. High five.
Rosie McCorvey:
I'm like, "That's the biggest myth ever." When people say that, I'm like, "You've got it wrong. When you love what you're doing, you work 10 times harder." It's so hard to stop working because you love what you're doing. I feel like during this whole shutdown, I've actually worked harder than before, which is crazy. I'm thankful my salon's able to open back up next week, but I'm like, "I didn't even take a break." Like, "I should have probably had a weekend off or something."
I think when you when you love what you do, you do work every day, and you work harder, but it's worth it. It's like at the end of the day, whether you own your own business or work for someone or you're part of a team that you love, not everyone has a passion for owning a business. But if you're doing what you love, you're part of a team that you love, you're going to work harder, and it's going to be worth it at the end of the day.
I mean, we spend so many years of our life working. Do we want to look back and be like, "Gosh, I hated what I did for my whole life?"
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh, we spend the majority of our life at work, the majority of our life.
Rosie McCorvey:
I know. I know.
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh.
Rosie McCorvey:
So many people just look forward to retirement instead of... You have to enjoy your life while you're working too.
Sheila Bella:
Or the weekend. They don't look forward to the weekend. They hate their 9:00 to 5:00. I really hope you know that this pandemic... I think a lot of people are questioning their jobs right now. If that's you, lean in. Let us mess with you. I think a lot of people are questioning it right now, because I think they're taking a step back into all the things that really matter. If you enjoy working from home like I do, you can. If you hate it, oh, don't ever go back to this. Don't ever, but yeah, I think that's so telling.
People spend the majority of their days at work, and so wouldn't you spend more time choosing what that is? To me, the definition of success is different for everybody, but for me, it's beautiful relationships.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes. Yes. That's exactly how I feel.
Sheila Bella:
That's a part of it. I really think with the platform that... I'm glad you agree with me. I really think that the platform that I've created, my relationships with you, my Pretty Rich University students, with my... even if it's a virtual platform and sometimes in person, and also my family. I mean, I just get to bask in the beauty of all these relationships and then service. Even today, I slave the day away like Grow Your Gram, but it's all for this person that I'm obsessed with, that I'm in love with, that I care about.
I think that's really the definition of success. The girl, that Sheila Bella, I miss them.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes, I 100% agree. I think I always say my biggest blessing in life is the relationships. I feel like I have such good friends and family and my husband. Then what I love most about what I do is the connections I make with my clients, with my students, with other people like you, just everyone. That is where life is so beautiful to me, so I love that.
Sheila Bella:
It's meaning. It's rooted in meaning.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes, exactly. That's one thing I actually love about Kentucky so much, and I'm from New York City, but I live in a small town in Kentucky, is the community aspect.
Sheila Bella:
Cool.
Rosie McCorvey:
I love that. We say hi to our neighbors here. I love that. One thing I did want to ask you too, and something you've said before, is you have to... This really stuck with me hearing you say this, is you have to pick your pain, so either the pain of being stagnant or the pain of fearing failure or whatever. I wanted you to touch a little bit about that, because I feel like the people watching this, even me, everyone needs to hear it.
Sheila Bella:
This is one that I still have. It's a hard pill to swallow every single day, but honestly, once you accept it, it's actually less painful, so just like what I said earlier, all of it is painful, all of it. Building a business is painful. Putting yourself out there is painful. Hitting the go live now button is painful. Failure is painful, but it is also painful to remain the same and to wake up every single morning like it's Groundhog's Day.
It's just we're the same. We're the same. It really does take that moment of realizing that perhaps the pain of failure and perhaps embarrassing yourself or risking losing a financial investment will be greater than the pain of staying the same, because what do you live for? What is this life for? What is the time that we're gifted for? Is it to just wake up every day to the same day, or is it to create something meaningful that's going to impact a lot of people and your family?
They're both painful. You just have to choose your pain. I just really think that that's also something that I wish I would have known when I was younger, that there's no way to escape it. It's the same thing. I always say the opportunity doesn't go away. It just shifts [crosstalk 00:35:41].
Rosie McCorvey:
Hearing that from you helped me too during COVID.
Sheila Bella:
Good.
Rosie McCorvey:
It's like just because we can't see our clients face to face, there's other ways we can serve them, so that really-
Sheila Bella:
Right. That's why it's online.
Rosie McCorvey:
Exactly.
Sheila Bella:
Same thing. Right now, opportunity has not gone away. It hasn't. I refuse. No, it's not just I refuse. It's not true. Opportunity just takes on a different shape. It takes on a different form. It's the location changes. Right now, it's not in person, but it's online. Another thing is the same thing, pain doesn't go away. It just shifts. It's either this pain or this pain, the pain of risk and embarrassment, and possibly falling flat on your face and your family making fun of you, right, and calling your job like a hobby or-
Rosie McCorvey:
I get that all the time. Oh, you do eyebrows? That's fun.
Sheila Bella:
That's cute.
Rosie McCorvey:
That's cute.
Sheila Bella:
Or the pain of having maybe an employee stab you in the back. That's common. That's common, or maybe getting made fun of on social media or getting a nasty Yelp review or an email from someone saying like... Anyway, so I could go into it, but honestly, they're all painful.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yeah. I think too a lot of people are so afraid of failure, but I feel like every major lesson I've learned in my life has come from a failure or a mistake that I've made.
Sheila Bella:
Tell me something specific.
Rosie McCorvey:
There's a lot. There's so much when it comes to business. I'll just make an example, an easy example. Just client expectations with permanent makeup. In the beginning, when I first started doing my clients, I wouldn't really go into detail with their aftercare. So then every time, they would call me like, "Oh, is this supposed to happen? Is this supposed to happen?" That's something really simple, but I learned, "Oh, if you give them realistic expectations, then they're not going to be shocked when that happens, and they're not going to be calling you disappointed. They're going to know what the aftercare is like."
I've made... My roof fell in, and it was $10,000 to fix it. That happens because there was a drip, and I let that drip keep happening, keep happening. I freaking ignored it. I was just like, "It'd be fine. I'll deal with it later." Then my whole inside, one of my treatment rooms, fell through, and it was over $10,000 to fix it. If I would have called them a month earlier, it wouldn't have happened. That was a major lesson for me where it's like, as soon as something becomes a problem, fix it.
Don't wait until it becomes a bigger problem.
Sheila Bella:
Yes.
Rosie McCorvey:
Owning my property, my own salon, and being a business owner, I feel like has taught me the most lessons and the hardest lessons, but even in my marriage-
Sheila Bella:
I love that.
Rosie McCorvey:
[Crosstalk 00:39:07].
Sheila Bella:
Let's talk about that.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yeah. Well, even my therapist... It was funny because me and my husband go to therapy, and I go by myself too, which I think is amazing, but a small lesson, I would feel certain ways and be like, "Well, he doesn't do this. He doesn't do this." My therapist would be like, "Well, do you tell him that you want him to do that? He can't read your mind." Just little things that you learn as you go, so anytime you make a mistake, literally just think about it and be like, "What did I learn from this?"
Rosie McCorvey:
Instead of dwelling on the mistake, if you actually try to understand what you did, what you did wrong, how you can not make that mistake again, it can be a blessing. It's out there. Every mistake is a blessing or a lesson. Every decision is a blessing or a lesson.
Sheila Bella:
It's just data.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
I really think that's also another thing that I've learned is to stop personifying the failures.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Stop taking it personally even in relationships. You just brought up your marriage and stuff like that. When you let your spouse down because of something you do, sometimes you can be like my five-year-old would be like, "Forget it!"
Rosie McCorvey:
Literally.
Sheila Bella:
I F up with this. Like, "I'm just bad now. I'm just bad," and that's it. We throw our own grownup tantrum that's way crazy. Truly, because [inaudible 00:40:38]. They're like, "No. No. No. No. No. No. I just wanted you to fix that one thing, or that one comment just made it." I mean, I think with anything including in business, stop personifying the pain. Stop personifying the criticism. Take it as data. Move the F on. For all you wives out there right now who are feeling a little like, "Oh, I should have been nicer," just move on. Just freaking fix it.
Be nicer. Move on. For those of you who made bad business decisions, the quicker you get to acceptance, the quicker you get to acceptance, the faster you can dive into the solution. Just dive into... Just accept it. Accept that you... Sorry, I'm going to curse on here. No, it's going to wait.
Rosie McCorvey:
It's fine.
Sheila Bella:
Okay, accept that you fucked up. Accept it.
Rosie McCorvey:
Literally, yes.
Sheila Bella:
Let's accept it. It's not big deal. We all mess up. We all mess up, and then just move into the solution. The quicker you do that, the more moments in your life, if your life were a graph of awesome, meaningful moments and crappy moments, the higher that meaningful graph will be, right? I hate spending time in the negative. That's why I just get to accept it as quick as possible.
Rosie McCorvey:
I literally just learned this lesson, so that's so... Because I would dwell sometimes too or think even put the blame on something else, or let's say an employee or a team member messes up, it's not their fault. It's your fault as the leader. How could you have taught them better, or how could you have avoided that from happening? So setting the fall, it's so true. It makes the solution quicker. That's hard to do sometimes.
Sheila Bella:
Absolutely.
Rosie McCorvey:
I feel like just human nature, you want to put the blame on someone else, instead of being like, "Oh, I could have been better, and this could have been avoided," and take the blame and then move on to the solution. I think that's so true.
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh. I just had a conversation with my husband in the kitchen. He just came up withthis because he's just crazy. He's like... He came up with the hashtag, "Aim. Don't blame. Aim. don't blame."
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
He was talking about... Well, his area of expertise is different. It's more controversial, but he was just talking about Republicans and Democrats. I hate to get political, but anyway, he was just talking about how, I think, Republicans and Democrats when it comes to something as simple as pro-life, pro-life or pro-choice, he's like, "The aim is the same. It's protection of life, but it's just which life." In many ways, people who are passionate about two very seemingly contrasting things are actually trying to protect the same thing passionately.
They just need to find just different ways. They just need to find the common denominator. He's like, "Aim. Don't blame." I was like, "Are you a rapper, white boy?"
Rosie McCorvey:
I love that. We only have an hour on this, so I just want to ask you one last final question.
Sheila Bella:
Sure.
Rosie McCorvey:
What would your advice be right now to people that are watching right now, people that are going to watch this later that have no background in the beauty industry, want to get started? What advice would you give to them so that they could let go of that self-doubt and just believe in themselves and take that risk?
Sheila Bella:
Oh man, I mean, it's so cliche, but it's YOLO.
Rosie McCorvey:
I love that.
Sheila Bella:
I mean, do you really want to live for the weekend? Do you really just want to live for the weekends? I hope this COVID situation has given you some time to reflect on what's truly important to you, what truly matters, see that... Guys, June is tomorrow or something. I don't know. I lose it.
Rosie McCorvey:
[inaudible 00:45:07].
Sheila Bella:
Something like that. It's gonna be June. I feel like I just heard the... I just saw the Justin Timberlake It's Gonna Be May, [inaudible 00:45:19] posted just not even that long ago, like yesterday. It's going to to be June. That's half the year, half the year. The trouble is we think we have time. We think we have time. We don't. Life is long, but it's also very short. It might be shorter for some people than others, and so I hope you take this time to reassess what truly matters to you.
If this was the last month of your life, how would you want to spend it? If this was the last five years of your life, let's say five years, what would you want to do? What would you want us... How would you want to work? If you had to work, how would you want to do it? Recognize that at the end of your life on your deathbed, you don't want to have any regrets. What would you want to look back on? What are the things that are going to matter to you?
For me, what I'm going to look back on is spending time with my family, and impacting the community that I impact and building the community that I've built. It's both those things. I would focus on meaning. Focus on creating meaning. Create meaning, not a job.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Create a why, a true why and a meaning for that. I think when your passion meets fulfillment meets meaning, that is when you have a life that's worth living, that's worth waking up early for, and that's what you'll probably get up early for. I get up early now, and it's not really a problem to fight those feelings because I... Create a life you don't need a vacation for. Create a life that's super worthy to wake up early for, that you're like, "I'm tired, but I don't give a crap. Here we go. Let's do this," that life.
Whatever that is for you, make that.
Rosie McCorvey:
I seriously think that's so powerful. Honestly if you're watching this, and that doesn't mean the beauty industry for you too, whatever that is, whatever that meaning is, go for it. Like you said, YOLO, which is so funny because it's true.
Sheila Bella:
YOLO.
Rosie McCorvey:
You only live once, and even though life is long, it's also really short. You don't want to look back and have regrets. Thank you so much for coming on here with me. I feel like what you said was so good. I hope that you guys listening really take it to heart. Even me just rehearing that, it helps. If you're having dreams and goals, if you really like something, surround yourself with people like that, and that's really going to empower you and make you better.
I'm really excited.
Sheila Bella:
Oh, I'm so happy to have connected with you on this session. I really appreciate it. I just decided I would love to turn this into a podcast if you're okay with it.
Rosie McCorvey:
Yes, of course.
Sheila Bella:
Awesome. You guys can check out the audio to this this weekend.
Rosie McCorvey:
Awesome. I would love that.
Sheila Bella:
[inaudible 00:48:43].
Rosie McCorvey:
If anybody's watching this has any questions about Thread Your Way To 100K or any of Sheila's classes, Grow Your Gram, anything, messaged us. I love DMs. I love connecting with you guys. I know it can be nerve wracking to message someone you don't know, but don't feel like that. You can always message me.
Sheila Bella:
Absolutely, same here. Same here. Thank you so much, Rosie.
Rosie McCorvey:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
To everybody else, have a great night with your families. Good luck to you. We'll see you again.
Rosie McCorvey:
Thanks. Bye.
Sheila Bella:
Bye.
That's it for today's episode of Pretty Rich Podcast. If there was anything in this episode that has impacted you in any small or big way, I want to know. You can reach me at realsheilabella on Instagram. By the way, if we are not text buddies yet, that needs to change. You can text my name, Sheila, S-H-E-I--L-A, to 31996, and we'll be connected. I really love hanging with you guys on here. One last thing before we wrap it up, I gotta include my kids, hashtag mom first.
Here are Beau and Gray to close things out.
Beau:
Hi, my name is Beau. I'm five years old.
Sheila Bella:
Can you tell everybody what our family motto is?
Beau:
I can do hard things.
Sheila Bella:
I can do hard things. Now, fill in the blanks. Hard is?
Beau:
Fun.
Sheila Bella:
Easy is?
Beau:
Boring.
Sheila Bella:
Good job, buddy. I love you so much.
Beau:
I love you the best to infinity. I love you all.
Sheila Bella:
Gray, say share with your friends.
Gray:
Share with your friends.
Sheila Bella:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Gray:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks for listening.
Gray:
Thanks for listening.
