Ep. 58: Ever Been Called "Too Much" - International Cosmetic Show Miami 2019
Where did this come from? Where did this concept of "too much" come from? And what happened in my life that I feel like I have to respond to it like this?
Have you ever been accused of being too much? Have you had people tell you that you need to tone it down or be quiet? It hurts doesn't it? It's really painful.
Maybe you're not entirely sure where that feeling comes from. I know, personally, I've had to do a lot of digging to figure out where it all started. For a lot of us, especially as women, it's super common to be told that you're taking up too much space, that you're too loud, that you're too emotional, that you're too much. So we shrink in on ourselves, right? We start to make ourselves small.
Here's the thing, you have to unpack that feeling and you have to start to unshrink yourself. You're trying to be a successful boss babe, right? You can't do that when you're feeling small. When you're afraid to be loud and proud and assert your worth, it's going to be really hard for you to get where you want to go. And besides that, it's just not good for you. It's not healthy to be who you are.
This episode is shorter than normal but it's just as impactful. I really encourage you to listen to this one and then really deep dive into the work and start letting yourself be "too much".
Here are the episode highlights:
‣‣ [01:26] For me, the idea of being "too much" started when I was a little girl. I've pretty much felt this way. Let's talk about how society programs us to shrink up and hide who we are.
‣‣ [03:06] How I got to the point where nobody can tell me to calm down or be less.
‣‣ [03:35] What's the cost of being your true self?
‣‣ [05:36] This is my call to action! Don't let people tear you down and make you feel small. Don't let people control you! Step into who you are and own it, girl!
TEACH ME HOW TO BE CONFIDENT IN WHO I AM! (Listen Here)
You can follow me, Sheila Bella, on Instagram @realsheilabella!
Here are the links that were mentioned in the podcast!
Grow Your Gram
Online Course Workshop
FOR MY LISTENER BOSS BABES
You can enjoy this podcast by downloading it on iTunes here.
(Life Hack: Subscribe to Pretty Rich Podcast to get the LATEST EPISODE downloaded to your phone AUTOMATICALLY)
FOR MY READER BOSS BABES
You can enjoy a transcript of the podcast here.
Sheila Bella:
Welcome to the Pretty Rich Podcast, where every woman is the heroine of her own story. I'm your host, Sheila Bella, and I built a million dollar beauty business from nothing. So maybe if you listen enough, you'll start to believe that you can do it too. Because of the perfect job doesn't exist, well, you can create it. If the job you want isn't hiring you, you can unapologetically hire yourself.
Each episode will equip you with empowering conversations on how to grow a lifestyle that's pretty rich in love, beauty, wellness, and financial wealth. I'm Sheila Bella, beauty business coach, celebrity brow artist, global success speaker, author, serial entrepreneur, wife, mother, friend, and daughter, and you're forever positive beauty biz sales guru. Let's go.
Welcome, welcome friends, to Pretty Rich Podcast. And today is a quick one. It is the audio based on a video that I posted on social media entitled Too Much. Now, a lot of you are probably like, where did this come from? Where did this concept of too much come from? And what happened in my life that I feel like I need to defend this. Or not just defend, but respond to it.
Basically, my whole life I've kind of felt out of place, to be honest. Ever since I was a little girl, I just knew I had more inside of me. And I would hide her. I would hide myself. I would slouch. I would walk towards the side of the hallway and not the middle. I just wanted so badly to blend in and be small. But in my heart of hearts, I knew that I wasn't supposed to be that way.
I was designed to be, just bigger and louder and just freer. And frankly, happier. But I feel like society, my friends, some of my half-sisters were really mean to me. Kind of programmed me to dumb it down. I realized that they liked me more when I was smaller, when I was less. And to me, being liked was everything. So much so that I suppressed my own voice. I gave myself a personality make-over and became quieter, more self-deprecating. Because it was more acceptable. It wasn't as threatening.
Sure, I had quote "friends" and I was "better liked" quote, unquote again. But what that cost me, what that cost me was my soul. And to this day, there are some people who comment on my muchness and, they tell me to calm down. These days, you can't tell me to calm down. And how I got to this point was really just putting myself out there.
And I finally understood the reality that having impact comes at a cost. Yes, you have impact. You are authentic. You speak your message. It's freedom, but it's at the cost of not being liked by some people. And I don't think that I am the only one who's going through this, just because I am an extrovert.
I think that even for certain introverts, you still run that risk. As long as you're authentic, you have something to say, you're probably not going to be liked by a certain percentage of whoever your audience is. It's just a part of it. I hope that this audio inspires you to make changes in your life, to be truer to the world about who you actually are.
I hope it frees you from the shackles of other people's opinions. Because, sister, the world is waiting for you. And the confirmation will come. You just need to jump.
The dictionary defines the phrase too much as, "phrase of much, an intolerable, impossible, or exhausting situation or experience." Yikes. This goes out to all the women who've ever been told that good women just don't behave that way. Whether I am called too much by a girl who I felt was a friend, a rude comment on Instagram, an estranged family member or an industry colleague. My muchness had rubbed some people the wrong way, but I'm having a blast. And it's who I am.
So, I'm sorry that I am not sorry. This is a humble request to you, to encourage you to step squarely into your own muchness and brilliance, as I step into mine in front of you. Sister, you never have to apologize for the full magnitude of the person that you are. Don't ever let anyone talk you into being less of yourself. Because for me, you may not be ready to hear it, and that's okay.
But I'm ready to share it, and that should also be okay. And it is. Because well-behaved never made history. So speak what's in your heart, share what's in your soul, and do so without hesitation. Take off the layers.
Dear one, I know you, you have a mission, and you cannot die without seeing it through. If that's the case, then it doesn't matter what anyone says, now does it?
So many of you are living your lives based on other people's opinions, and it's crippling you. You get to the door, but you never walk through. So quit it. Stop acting like you're not powerful. Stop acting like you don't know your worth. Remember who you are, let her out. Because you're muchness could be someone else's medicine.
I made a list of everything that I thought was wrong with the permanent makeup industry. What does your list include? Let me share some of mine, okay?
Cattiness between brands. I don't like that. The clique-y, clique-y, clacky thing. It's like we're in high school. Lack of business training bugs me. Gross display of competition in the Facebook groups, for sure.
I think there should also be more face-to-face relationships. I feel like we're just all hiding behind screens, and that is not human. Also, I didn't like it when trainers would just train you and see you along your Merry way, without being transparent about their systems, and strategies, and the grind that it really takes to make it in this industry.
Well, I took my list and I sought to change it. And that is how the Pretty Ambitious Summit was born. What I've created is something I'm so passionate about. It's a two-day live event whose sole mission is to turn to everything that I see wrong in this industry upside down. I'm excited because this is the very first girl power, self-development, and business strategy conference specifically for PMU boss babes like you.
You guys, I'm so excited. This event is designed to make you feel amazing, and give you all the tools you need so you can crush your goals. It is time for change. I want you to learn what's necessary to succeed. Unfiltered, no holding back information. That's exactly what I told the speakers, and that's what they've committed to.
And I have the best, most generous, kind speakers, who are so eager to help you succeed. If you want to see all the speakers, just go to prettyambitioussummit.com. My mission is for you to leave Los Angeles with your own personal and business breakthroughs.
But you can't do it without support. So we're going to give you that too. This event is designed for you to meet your people. I can't tell you how crucial my PMU friends have been in my own journey. And you deserve that too, sister.
Tickets are more than halfway sold out. I can't believe it. VIP tickets sold out last week. And the event is still six-and-a-half months away. What that tells me is that our industry is hungry for a positive movement such as this. You deserve to be in that room. So grab your seat before tickets run out.
Again, just go to prettyambitioussummit.com. And I'll see you at the top, where ambitious women empower each other.
Grey, say "Share with your friends."
Grey:
Share with friends.
Sheila Bella:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Speaker 2:
Mama, iTunes.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks for listening.
Grey:
Thanks for listening.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you so much for listening. It is an honor to be a part of your life. If you enjoy this podcast, or were impacted by this at all, please take a minute to leave us a five-star review on iTunes, and share it with a friend. Screenshot it, post it on your stories, your feed, your timeline. And don't forget to tag me. I would really love to see that.
My Instagram is at @realSheilaBella. also let's carry on the conversation longer. Join our private Facebook group just for pretty rich girls. Just go to facebook.com/prettyrichsquad, and check out sheilabella.com for more information on how to get more support on your beauty entrepreneurship journey, and get going on your pretty rich lifestyle. Until next time.
