Ep. 178: GIRL TALK WITH PMU (PERMANENT MAKEUP) ARTIST MICHELLE RUKNY & BEAUTY BUSINESS AND SALON STRATEGIST SHEILA BELLA
What's your most unusual fear? If you could be invisible, what's the first thing you would do? What's your worst habit?
In today's episode, I'm answering all of these questions and more in a super fun round of Girl Talk with my good friend and fellow PMU Artist and coach, Michelle Rukny!
This was so much fun to record it was like having a sleepover with a best friend. So grab a drink, cozy up, and let's get to know each other better!
Here are the episode highlights:
‣‣ [03:54] What is the most unusual fear that you have?
‣‣ [04:49] What would you say is a part of your culture that you're most proud of?
‣‣ [11:05] Who was your worst house guest and why?
‣‣ [15:01] What's something that you haven't been able to do well?
‣‣ [15:41] What is the most annoying thing ever? Like, ever?
‣‣ [16:37] If you could be invisible, what's the first thing you would do?
‣‣ [18:00] What's the craziest pick up line you've ever used on a guy?
‣‣ [20:10] When was the last time you cried?
‣‣ [21:14] What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done on a date?
‣‣ [25:10] What is your worst habit?
‣‣ [25:43] Who are your celebrity crushes?
‣‣ [29:45] Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
‣‣ [30:46] What is the worst date you've ever been on?
‣‣ [35:02] What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
‣‣ [38:39] What's your biggest insecurity?
JOIN ME FOR SOME GIRL TALK!! (Listen Here)
Elise is amazing! I'm so glad I got to have her on the podcast to share all of her insight! Follow her on Instagram for more great tips @elisedarma
You can follow me, Sheila Bella, on Instagram @realsheilabella!
Here are the links that were mentioned in the podcast!
Pretty Rich Bosses
Reels In Cash
Pretty Ambitious Summit
Text me! (310) 388-4588
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You can enjoy a transcript of the podcast here.
Sheila Bella:
Welcome to Pretty Rich Podcast where you're totally the heroine of your own story. I'm your host, Sheila Bella, and I built a seven-figure PMU beauty biz and a seven-figure online business without a degree, without a fancy website, or a sugar daddy. And if you and I hang out on here long enough, you're going to start to believe that you can do it too. How about that for a side effect of listening to this podcast, because you really can. I know you think, "I don't know you. I have no idea who you are." But I do. I really, really do because I am you, I was you, and I believe we're all on the same journey together.
My perfect job didn't exist so I created it. The job I wanted wasn't hurting me, wanted nothing to do with me. So I skipped the line and hired myself as CEO, just like you can. So consider me your secret beauty biz BFF in case you need to be reminded on a weekly basis that power is never just handed to you, you have to take it. Are you ready beauty boss? Let's jump in.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay. Let's get into a little bit of fun. Let's get into some games here.
Sheila Bella:
Okay.
Michelle Rukny:
So I don't know if you remember this game or not. Do you remember it? Because I feel like when I said it, you're like, "I don't know what you're talking about." Girl Talk. Do you remember?
Sheila Bella:
No, I don't remember that, but I get the gist. You told me the gist and it sounds like something-
Michelle Rukny:
Let me show you the box and see if you recognize it. Something's clicking on your side. I don't know if it's something clicking on your microphone, but it keeps clicking.
Sheila Bella:
Is it still clicking?
Michelle Rukny:
Maybe. Do you have earrings on or long earrings?
Sheila Bella:
Maybe.
Michelle Rukny:
Oh, it's your earrings. That’s what it is.
Sheila Bella:
Okay, let me take them off.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay. It's okay. In case you're going to do something with this thing. Let me show you what the box looks like, and if y'all remember this game, please give us some hearts because I know this game was so much fun and it was... I grew up very poor, so I didn't own this game. I played it later on in my life. I got it from Goodwill or something, my dad brought it to me. But it looked like this.
Sheila Bella:
Oh yes, I remember that box.
Michelle Rukny:
Yes. Girl Talk. It was a really fun game where you would have your girlfriends over and have a summer party and you would play this game, which I never did, but I pretended like I was going to. So I'm like let me play this game with you. Now I've kind of put a little spin on it because obviously society and everything has changed a bit since then, since 15 years ago or whatever, since that game came out 15 years ago.
Sheila Bella:
I totally remember that box. I'm sure I played it. I'm sure I have. I just don't remember.
Michelle Rukny:
You probably did. So what I've done is I have curated some special questions for you.
Sheila Bella:
Okay.
Michelle Rukny:
Just so people can get to know you on a deeper level and maybe find out some fun facts about you. So let's talk about, and I can't remember if I told you these or not, these specific ones, but let's see. What is the most unusual fear that you have?
Sheila Bella:
Unusual? Usual is snakes, unusual is I don't like my belly button getting touched too hard. I don't like it. I think it's going to burst, especially now that I'm 27, 28 weeks pregnant. I think you're going to scratch his head. I don't like it. And my kids know that so they dig into it and I can't do it. I can't. No.
Michelle Rukny:
That's crazy.
Sheila Bella:
It's just a knot. It's a balloon knot.
Michelle Rukny:
Like backwards, yeah.
Sheila Bella:
It's just a backwards balloon knot.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah. Okay. I can see that. I can see that. I feel like there's some people out there that probably have that phobia. Yeah. It's not too bad. Okay. What would you say is a part of your culture that you're most proud of?
Sheila Bella:
Something called utang na loob, which is directly translated to an inner debt where nobody's really... No one asks you for something in return. Let's say somebody was very kind to you or good to you in the past, no matter whether or not that relationship or that partnership ended good or bad. Utang na loob is... it's deeper than just me saying an inner debt, it's deeper than that. It's a principle. It's something that is beyond our lifetime. And there are no words in the English language that can help me... that that can accurately express the depth of this word, of these words.
And it is something that as Filipinos we put it in practice. It's more like in practice with your parents, for everything your parents have done for you, every interaction you have if that's blessed you in any way, it's just an... There's a respect to it as well. I think it's a really beautiful part of Filipino culture that I have not seen the exact equivalent of in American culture. I haven't seen... I mean there's things like that, but not exactly like that. Not with that amount of depth and respect and virtue.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah, definitely. And by the way, I love your mom, FYI.
Sheila Bella:
She's so scary.
Michelle Rukny:
I wish she would adopt me.
Sheila Bella:
I love her and she's scary.
Michelle Rukny:
She's awesome. I just love her.
Sheila Bella:
Me too.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay. Tell me what period in history do you think had the best fashion?
Sheila Bella:
Oh yeah. Britney Spears, early 2000s. It was the hottest time in history. In history. In history. I don't know, Adam and Eve, that was cute.
Michelle Rukny:
The nakedness was kind of hot.
Sheila Bella:
The leaves were hot but I have no pictures to really reference it. No, no, the early 2000s. The low, low jeans, the Brazilian jeans and just it was all about abs and the thong hanging out of the jeans, remember that?
Michelle Rukny:
Yes. This is why I was not a fan of Britney.
Sheila Bella:
I thought that was like, that is so bad. That's so bad. That's allowed? They're getting away with this? It was ridiculous, and also it's both shocking, repulsive, and also, I don't know, arousing. I don't know, there's something about it.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah. She was testing the limits for sure.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. And I think also the fact that... I think the reason why I thought it was also so sexy was the time, because you see that now, and we've done worse than that.
Michelle Rukny:
Oh yeah.
Sheila Bella:
But the time. The timing. And also maybe it's my age.
Michelle Rukny:
No, I definitely like that. I, just to kind of give you a little insight on what I think, I liked the Gatsby era, the '20s.
Sheila Bella:
Oh yeah, much classier.
Michelle Rukny:
Like the Roaring Twenties.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, much classier.
Michelle Rukny:
I don't know, there were some little scandalous ones back then, too, but it was just a different type of scandal.
Sheila Bella:
True.
Michelle Rukny:
It's just progressively changing what society norms are.
Sheila Bella:
Less and less clothing is what's happening.
Michelle Rukny:
It's crazy.
Sheila Bella:
Oh yeah. I would say that was a beautiful time. But as far as like my personality and fun, let's have a '90s party, let's have an early 2000s party.
Michelle Rukny:
Oh my gosh. That would be so fun.
Sheila Bella:
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I'm excited for you. This is completely free, and all you need to do is text me the words “motivation map” to (310) 388-4588. Text me the words motivation map to (310) 388-4588 and it would be my honor to text you back a link personally. What are you waiting for? It's time to get unstuck. Let's do this.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay. Let's see. Who is your worst, absolute worst, house guest and why?
Sheila Bella:
Oh you did. My absolute worst house guest were my in-laws at one point when we weren't getting along. I love you, Patty. I love you, Patty.
Michelle Rukny:
I won't tell.
Sheila Bella:
No, she watches everything. But we have... it's amazing what open communication can do, and that sounds so cliche. Well, duh. But we have come very far. We have come very far, but the minute you asked me that, I'm too honest. My visceral reaction was it was one of the visits where my in-laws came, and they know about this, we've talked about this so this should not be as a surprise to them if they ever watch this or hear this for that matter. We had a lot of cultural challenges in the beginning. Things were going well when Will and I met, we got married and everything and then I had a baby.
And for the first time, my mother-in-law said that I challenged her because now... if you're married to somebody from a different culture, just, okay... how about just married?
Michelle Rukny:
Right.
Sheila Bella:
How about just married? But in my case, I'm married to somebody of a different culture. There are things that are fundamentally right and wrong, the way you bathe, the way you wipe your butt, the way... and then big things, the way you parent, the way you discipline, the way you feed your children, just all of these things just came really clashing. Things about money, your perspective on money, the way you speak to one another, what you call each other. So all of these things rose to the surface when I had a child. Exactly, exactly, Danielle. The tabo. They don't know what that is, but we do. [crosstalk 00:13:23] We have a bucket.
Michelle Rukny:
I was just thinking that was meant to say taboo. What does this mean? What does [crosstalk 00:13:28]
Sheila Bella:
The tabo is literally a bucket. A bucket. It's a cup with a handle that's supposed to be next to the toilet and you... in order to be clean after you go number two, you literally have to [inaudible 00:13:52] yourself with soap and water with the tabo. Otherwise it's child abuse.
Michelle Rukny:
That's also a Persian... in our Persian culture, we have the hoses in every single one of our toilets in our house and my husband's Persian. It's a similar concept. And in Iran it's the same thing, you have to wash. My dad will say the same thing. Did you wash the baby? I'm like, "Okay, well, that's taking it a little too far. I rinsed him off." We're good.
Sheila Bella:
We're clean.
Michelle Rukny:
So I'm sure they were probably like what's going on and...
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, it wasn't the only thing, because I believe culture is more than just food and language. And I know we know it's more than just food and language, it's your world view. It's your worldview, religion, it's a lot of things. So yeah, my worst house guests were my in-laws at the time we weren't... before we processed what we processed. Hi Lee Ann.
Michelle Rukny:
Hi. Okay, what's something that you have not been able to do well?
Sheila Bella:
Whistle and long division.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay. Can you please do both?
Sheila Bella:
Anything above long division. So statistics, whatever. Okay whistle. I don't know.
Michelle Rukny:
I'm sorry. It's cute.
Sheila Bella:
I really, really try. No, I can't do it.
Michelle Rukny:
Aww. That's so cute though. Okay. What is the most annoying thing ever, ever, ever, ever?
Sheila Bella:
I had a different answer yesterday, but today it's a cognitive dissonance, lack of self-awareness. Cognitive dissonance is when you say out loud that you are one way and then you actually are another way, or when you say that you're that you don't like something, but you are the very representation of that thing. Like wokeness I think can be that way. If it goes too far, then yes. And conservatism. Both. It's any extreme. So yeah, that's what I'm annoyed with. Cognitive dissonance.
Michelle Rukny:
Oh yeah. Okay. If you could be invisible, what's the first thing you would do?
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh. If I could be invisible?
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
I would find one of my mentors or a successful business person [inaudible 00:17:06] how am I going to use this to make money? And I would just hang out and shadow their lives for a few days and take a lot of notes and learn.
Michelle Rukny:
Why is that pen moving?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. If I could be invisible, that's what I would do. I would observe, I would learn from people whose businesses are doing better than mine.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay. Now I don't know if you ever hit on guys, and I'm sorry, Will, that I'm bringing this up, but-
Sheila Bella:
He doesn't care.
Michelle Rukny:
I'm curious.
Sheila Bella:
You know he don't care.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah. Mine doesn't care.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, Ash doesn't care either.
Michelle Rukny:
Zero jealousy whatsoever. Yeah. So, okay. What is the craziest pickup line you've ever used on a guy?
Sheila Bella:
Used?
Michelle Rukny:
If you used one.
Sheila Bella:
So, okay. The times where I was quote unquote forward, I was not forward. I wasn't. I wish I would have been a little bit more because I... Oh gosh, I have such a messed up history when it comes to psychology, especially back then when it came to dating and men I'm sure. I took a lot of advice from my dad and I listened to him and I shouldn't have. My dad, my dad has not the greatest track record, so I don't know why I did that. So anyway-
Michelle Rukny:
Well, because little girls look up to their dad. That's why.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, I was very passive about things. I never texted guys or called guys. I would always just respond. I said, "I am going to be a very, very good responder, but I will never, ever initiate," which doesn't make sense. It's like playing games, but in a real relationship it doesn't matter. So let's just fast forward to that, whatever that is. One time I asked this guy in a Ghostbuster outfit if he could take a picture with me. So it wasn't that... and it worked. It worked.
Michelle Rukny:
Of course it did because a hot girl-
Sheila Bella:
I was like, "Hi, can you take a picture with me please? I'm three circles. I'm like an upside down Mickey Mouse."
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah. It works. It really does. It's not... I mean that's like-
Sheila Bella:
Cleavage works. Cleavage works. I'm just a bunch of circles, my eyes, my face, my boobs. Circles.
Michelle Rukny:
It's true. It really is true. Okay. When was the last time you cried?
Sheila Bella:
Oh, it was the other day. What did I cry about?
Michelle Rukny:
Well at this point you got some pregnancy hormones, so you're probably crying about commercials and maybe random billboards that you see.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. A tear or a good cry?
Michelle Rukny:
Like a good solid.
Sheila Bella:
A good solid cry, I teared up at church as I was doing, worship music is playing. Yeah. I teared up on Sunday for sure. Solid cry was... I can't remember. And I want to give an honest answer. I want to give an honest answer no matter how crazy it is, even if it's about my relationship. Why did I cry? Anyway I guess I don't remember.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah, it's fine. Well, we can skip that one for now.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. I always want to give honest answers.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah, of course. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done on a date? There's got to be something.
Sheila Bella:
Yes. You can ask my husband. It was like our fourth, fifth date or something like that. I was messing around and I put the beer bottle in my mouth during dinner. And he was very embarrassed, very embarrassed because people were looking and I thought it was hilarious and I thought it was hot and I was just... Cupcake up here. So he was very embarrassed. He was like, "I'll never forget that time when we were in Santa Barbara and you put that beer bottle in your mouth."
Michelle Rukny:
But it wasn't bad enough for him to be like, "I don't ever want to go on a date with you."
Sheila Bella:
That's true.
Michelle Rukny:
It worked.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. We're on our third.
Michelle Rukny:
Third child. Oh my goodness. How funny.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. He used to be really... He used to... I get it. He used to be kind of embarrassed not of me, but I used to act crazy, or just not crazy, just aloof. Aloof.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
That was my whole shtick.
Michelle Rukny:
Right, right. It's easier to be that than to have to face reality sometimes.
Sheila Bella:
Well, I got praised for it. This is so stupid. I mean, at the time and I was like, "Oh, this is how I get attention. I'm going to be as... I'm going to be the stupidest, happiest girl here. I'm the stupidest, happiest, hottest girl here." That's how I got attention. I'm not saying it was good, but yeah, that was the messaging.
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Michelle Rukny:
Okay. Let's see. What's your worst habit?
Sheila Bella:
Maybe texting and driving.
Michelle Rukny:
That's a... I mean, I feel like everyone can relate to that.
Sheila Bella:
I try. I really try to break that. I even have an app on my phone that prevents you from doing that.
Michelle Rukny:
That's good.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Worst habit, yeah.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay. Celebrity crushes. Who, if Will was no longer here and he gave you permission to go with any celebrity.
Sheila Bella:
Permission.
Michelle Rukny:
In his... nevermind. Yes, go ahead.
Sheila Bella:
We have open dialogue about it. It always shifts. It always changes. It used to be Conan O'Brien like 10 yeas ago. I was all about Coco, Team Coco. Now-
Michelle Rukny:
Conan O'Brien?
Sheila Bella:
Conan O'Brien.
Michelle Rukny:
That's not what I would have ever, ever, ever in my wildest dreams.
Sheila Bella:
I like one type. I have one type. I am not an equal opportunity dater for some reason. I've tried. I don't know. So it depends. It depends. I shouldn't say that completely. Depends. So Gordon Ramsay. Shay. I love-
Michelle Rukny:
Y'all would have been the power couple team right there. Aren't they both redheads?
Sheila Bella:
Gordon Ramsay and me and Shay. Let's make that meme happen.
Michelle Rukny:
I'm going to do that right after we get off this call. It's happening.
Sheila Bella:
I love... I'm in love with... I really like Jim Halpert from The Office. I like John Krasinski. Yeah. He reminds me... I feel like I'm watching Will anyway. I mean, I feel like I'm watching Will porn. Oh my God. This is amazing. That's lasted because when I first met my husband, I was looking for a real life Jim. As a matter of fact, his very first email to me, my husband, was the subject read real life Jim, and lately it's been Justin Hartley from This Is Us. Kevin Pearson.
Michelle Rukny:
I can see his face in my head, but I don't know exactly. But I can see his face. I feel like I know who that is.
Sheila Bella:
He's another version of that guy.
Michelle Rukny:
Wait. Kevin Hartley?
Sheila Bella:
Justin Hartley.
Michelle Rukny:
Kevin Hartley, like Kevin Hart. Justin Hartley. Oh yeah. No, I didn't... That's not who I was thinking of. He looks like your husband, dude.
Sheila Bella:
They just look like the same. Like if I ever lose my vision, it'll be fine. Because it will be like-
Michelle Rukny:
Let me show you real quick in case you don't know.
Sheila Bella:
That looks like my husband actually.
Michelle Rukny:
That's hilarious. Let's see. Hold on. Let's see the other options. Let me just pull those up here for a second. Here's the other option.
Sheila Bella:
What other options?
Michelle Rukny:
Conan O'Brien.
Sheila Bella:
Like younger.
Michelle Rukny:
Ten years ago.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, 10 years ago.
Michelle Rukny:
Ten years ago it was a little different.
Sheila Bella:
His string dance. He's so awesome. His string dance.
Michelle Rukny:
And this one's for Shay. And this one's for Shay. Here you go, Shay. Don't drool too hard right now, okay? Gordon Ramsay. Oh my gosh. That's so funny that y'all... And that doesn't look anything like her husband either, but yours looks like yours. All of your options look like John Krasinski. I can totally see that. His personality is very mellow and John, John Krasinski.
Sheila Bella:
Similar personality. John Krasinski. Yeah. Very similar. The character in The Office is very similar to Will's character. It's subtle, but it's hilarious. So I mean.
Michelle Rukny:
Oh, I love The Office by the way. Office is the best show ever.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. I would agree with you.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay. So let's see, we have a few more minutes. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Sheila Bella:
I have.
Michelle Rukny:
Oh yeah.
Sheila Bella:
In Stone Harbor, New Jersey with Will.
Michelle Rukny:
Aww.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, and I think that was the only time. I swear. Bible.
Michelle Rukny:
I believe you.
Sheila Bella:
I don't think I have, not to my immediate recollection.
Michelle Rukny:
I think I have, and I probably don't remember having done it, unfortunately. I can recall one time where it was really dark and it was like completely... It was like out in some small town that was obscure, no street lights. So it was really dark and there was no lights in the pool. So I was comfortable with that. I do vividly remember that and being like, "Oh my gosh." Like it was a rite of passage, like I am an adult now. I'm making stupid decisions, but whatever, we all make them.
Sheila Bella:
So funny.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay, what is the worst date you've ever been on?
Sheila Bella:
Oh man, I feel bad. David Geiselman.
Michelle Rukny:
I feel bad, David Geiselman. Look him up. Find him on Instagram.
Sheila Bella:
I'm so sorry. He was very sweet. I'm talking about like I don't know if it was the worst date but it was definitely up there for like-
Michelle Rukny:
I'm looking him up right now.
Sheila Bella:
Oh man, I feel bad. He was very nice, and it wasn't his fault. It was great. Oh wait, that's not true. There's one more. What's that guy's name?
Michelle Rukny:
How do you even spell Geiselman?
Sheila Bella:
No, there's another guy. So David Geiselman. He was very nice. You would think... He looks like a shorter version of my husband. And there was this other guy, he was great, he paid for dinner. He did more than my husband did on the first date for sure. It just wasn't there. Oh my gosh.
Michelle Rukny:
No, that's him? No joke? I literally just pulled up any... That's hilarious. Okay.
Sheila Bella:
What is this guy's name? This other guy. He's on my Facebook. I forgot his name. Anyway. He was... it was so funny. The vibe was friend zone from the beginning. He's an actor too so it's probably lucky I don't remember his name. But he's on my Facebook. He's one of my friends. He was so funny. So he was probably like, this chick thinks I'm... I am going to bang this chick at the end. She thinks I'm hilarious. But it was more like oh my God, this is my friend. He's so hilarious. Meet my friend, he's so funny. It was more like that.
I remember we went to Cheesecake Factory and he said that he didn't have a sense of smell. So he said he couldn't... that was the thing and that's all I remember. He was really funny and he couldn't smell anything.
Michelle Rukny:
Wow. That's actually really sad because if you can't smell, then you can't properly taste. What in the world? That's so sad. Pre-COVID.
Sheila Bella:
Pre-COVID. This was like 12 years ago.
Michelle Rukny:
Well maybe he was one of the first cases. No, I'm just kidding. Wow.
Sheila Bella:
It was years ago.
Michelle Rukny:
I can't believe I found him.
Sheila Bella:
Oh no. Sinar set us up. Oh my gosh. I can't believe you found him that quickly. Now I'm going to have to look.
Michelle Rukny:
Listen. I can find some people pretty quick.
Sheila Bella:
Damn. Damn. You just went on images? I don't know how you did that. There's a lot of Geiselmans here, but that was the one. Oh that's weird. Okay.
Michelle Rukny:
If anyone needs any [inaudible 00:33:49].
Sheila Bella:
He was very nice. He was very nice. Everything was great. We went to dinner and then we went to a bar and then I was really trying. He was a gentleman but it just wasn't... Yeah, it was one of those.
Michelle Rukny:
Oh, okay. So nothing. Okay. So David actually is a really good guy.
Sheila Bella:
He's a great guy.
Michelle Rukny:
If he's still single we hope that he finds the right woman.
Sheila Bella:
I think he is.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah. He needs to be rude. That's what's going to get him a girl. He needs to like slap her [crosstalk 00:34:23] "Oh my gosh, he's amazing."
Sheila Bella:
Meg a little bit?
Michelle Rukny:
Nice guys are just like... they don't always finish last. They don't always finish last, but they take a little bit longer because girls don't understand how valuable a good guy is right now in general. But that's another subject.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Yeah.
Michelle Rukny:
Let's see.
Sheila Bella:
I just found him on Instagram. Sorry.
Michelle Rukny:
Hey, sorry, we're talking about you right now, but...
Sheila Bella:
He seems to be doing fine.
Michelle Rukny:
Good. Okay. What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
Sheila Bella:
Oh, the... What do you call it? You know a rooster? The crown of a rooster?
Michelle Rukny:
Oh, the little jiggly part?
Sheila Bella:
The part that makes them the rooster?
Michelle Rukny:
Or is this the jiggly part? I don't know. The rooster-
Sheila Bella:
Oh, maybe that. Maybe that. Yeah, I ate that. I ate that. I was-
Michelle Rukny:
What did it taste like?
Sheila Bella:
I don't remember. I was like four and I remember the helpers at my mom's house fried it up. Because we used to have chickens in our backyard and would [inaudible 00:35:38] them in the backyard, which was really sad. [inaudible 00:35:41], they would behead them in the backyard. [crosstalk 00:35:44] the Philippines, hello, third world countries. And I remember trying to utilize every part of the chicken. So I was a kid and I saw this plate and it had stuff in it, it looked like nuggets and I just put it in my mouth and I started chewing and they were all laughing. They're all laughing. They're like, "Ha, ha, ha." And they'd say [inaudible 00:36:07] is just somebody will eat anything just because they love food. And I was a chubby kid. I was a chubby kid with rolls.
Michelle Rukny:
Really?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Always. I had boobs at four years old I was that chubby.
Michelle Rukny:
That's so funny.
Sheila Bella:
Will just passed by.
Michelle Rukny:
He's like, "What did I walk into?" He missed the best part but it's okay. Wow. Okay. I actually want to just kind of talk what that question was because doesn't your culture, the Filipino culture, don't they have a really expensive, or I don't know, it's really luxurious little egg with a...
Sheila Bella:
Oh, the balut. No, that's cheap. That's sweet, but it is not luxurious and expensive.
Michelle Rukny:
Oh, okay. I thought it was like a delicatessen... delicacy.
Sheila Bella:
It is a delicacy.
Michelle Rukny:
Delicacy.
Sheila Bella:
It is a delicacy, but you know... it is a delicacy, but it's not expensive. It's not like wagyu beef or anything like that.
Michelle Rukny:
Gotcha.
Sheila Bella:
Balut. I've had balut. I felt like the chicken thing was weirder, but yeah, I've had balut. I guess that is the weirdest thing.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah. I think that's definitely visually just to imagine that's kind of weird. But in Persian culture, the weirdest thing I ever had, just side note, is the tongue of... like the head of a lamb and the tongue was sticking out and that was my birthday present.
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh.
Michelle Rukny:
And I was like eight or nine, and my dad's like, clack. He's like, "Here you go. You get the first bite." And I'm like, "Uh, I'm good, Dad. You're good." Eat it. He's so strict, right. He's so super strict. That was very disrespectful and you don't do that. You don't say no thank you.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, you don't.
Michelle Rukny:
I honestly wanted to vomit and I had to eat that thing. It was horrible.
Sheila Bella:
Poor little lamb.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah. It's like it would probably have been better just to have the tongue on a plate instead of the whole entire head open.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Oh wow.
Michelle Rukny:
It was horrible.
Sheila Bella:
I'm not going to Google image that.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah, yeah, you probably don't want to. Okay. We have time for one more question because I know you have to go.
Sheila Bella:
Sure.
Michelle Rukny:
Okay. Let's see. What's your biggest insecurity?
Sheila Bella:
Oh my God. It's just a list. There's like a conveyor belt of insecurities. Okay. We're talking about the biggest, the biggest childhood thing. So my dad had a wife before my mom, and so I have five half brothers and sisters and my mom... when my mom had me, I didn't know that my dad had all these other kids. And then at three years old, I was introduced to them. I remember they woke me up, and it was at night, like early evening but I was already in bed. And they plopped me down on the living room floor and then he said, "These are your brothers and sisters." And they were all in a line like The Sound Of Music. It was just like... I was like, "What?" It was like yes, you're not an only child. These are your brothers and sisters.
So I was introduced to them and then we played every Sunday. They would come over to our house every Sunday and my mom didn't say one bad thing about their mother or them. She said, "These are your brothers and sisters. You love them." And I was raised to love them.
At three years old, you don't understand the nuances, the idea of a love triangle. You don't understand those things. All I knew was it was Christmas morning and I had brothers and sisters. I had people to play with now every weekend. And while I grew up throughout my childhood and into adulthood, I was raised to love them and I always wondered why I wasn't treated the same, or why they weren't as... it just wasn't the same. And I have a half sister who is six months older than me. And she was my... I put her on a pedestal as the thing that would fill my cup, the person that would fill my cup because I craved sisterhood so badly and I wanted that best friend so badly and I was never hers.
I kept saying, "You're my best friend, you're my best friend, you're my best friend." And it was always one sided. I gave her my heart, Michelle. I idolized her. I asked her to be... I called her every time something awesome happened to me, and she was never happy for me. My first marriage, she was the first person I called when I got engaged. It was always just like an I'm not happy for you reaction. She always had to put on a face. She always had to. And I made her my maid of honor. I did a lot. I just wanted togetherness so badly and I put that pressure on her and that expectation in my head.
And she backed out of my wedding two weeks beforehand because she said that she didn't feel like we were God's will. She was a devout Christian but she said that we weren't... she asked me how many times do we read the Bible? Do we eat... a lot of different things. So anyway, she found a reason to back out and she said she wouldn't feel genuine about it. A lot of things.
So it's just me forcing myself on this person and she had a huge imprint on my story and my insecurities, because I now as an adult tell myself a story that I'm forcing myself on someone, and particularly women, although I crave that so badly. I keep trying to heal the wounds of that little girl. I always wanted sisters. I've used my business, especially in the beginning to buy love, to buy friends, to buy that sisterhood and to build the utopia that I craved so badly. I've done that, and yeah, I don't think it will ever not be a big part of my story. If that sounds like super mundane to anybody, and I know you guys have gone through a lot of crazy drama and probably things that are a lot worse than that, but that is my experience. That was a big part of my childhood wounds.
It just came to a point when I was 26 years old where I finally asked, whenever you guys have birthday parties, how come if I don't call, no one calls me? Christmas, how come if I don't invite myself. It was coming to this realization. How come if I don't invite myself, it will happen without me? And then I was like, "Wait a second." And then they admitted to me it's not the same. We don't love you the same way. It's not the same. And I think that was the last time that I really... I didn't want to force myself, so I stopped going there.
So that's why my husband and I, we crave family so badly, I don't know how his wounds aligned with mine, but we have an open door policy, we love drop-ins. You do not need an appointment to come visit us at our house. We love it when people show up unexpected to hang out or to have dinner or drop something off. We have that in common. I think it's a lot because of that. I'm still talking to that girl. So yeah, that's my biggest insecurity.
Michelle Rukny:
Well, I'm sure a lot of people can relate. And for anyone who watches this on the replay, they're going to relate. I know they will. We all have stories in our lives that are in some cases similar. There's family members out there that have an experience, but can't imagine being that age and growing up that way.
So what I will say, like other people have said this in the comments, is that you really have created that utopia. You give so many women, including myself and everyone that works for you and with you and collaborates with you and students in our program, your program.
Sheila Bella:
It's ours.
Michelle Rukny:
You give them that experience. You really do make them feel like your sister. Just know that was an experience that had to have been... you had to go through that in order to be able to provide this experience for other people. I just think it's a blessing in disguise.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Michelle Rukny:
And although it's always going to be hard, it's going to be a wound that I'm sure takes time to heal from and stuff.
Sheila Bella:
I'm going to be 40 in next birthday, and I still cry about that. I do. It's so weird. It's like the things you can't let go of or have a hard time.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah. But anyways, I'm sure we're all... If I can speak for everybody, we're super thankful and grateful for you, and you have sisters amongst us all. You know that you can call me anytime. You can call a lot of us anytime, just know that.
But anyways, I really want to thank you so much for doing this live with me. I've been wanting to do something like this for a long time, and I want to thank everybody for showing up and making her sing. I really appreciate the peer pressure. That was really important to me. I wanted to hear her sing. So thank you for doing this. I appreciate it and I thank everybody for tuning in. Hopefully we'll do this again sometime, and maybe we can really play truth or dare, because I met to play truth or dare. I just I needed to prepare you because some of the questions were like eat a banana peel or like smell someone's armpit and nobody's around right now so you can't. So next time we'll definitely have to do that. But yeah, do you want to say anything before we go?
Sheila Bella:
You're such a good... You're amazing, Michelle. You're such a good host.
Michelle Rukny:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you for caring about my quirks. It's so nice to be valued by someone like you.
Michelle Rukny:
Aww.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you.
Michelle Rukny:
We'll virtually hug. A big squeeze. One of these days we'll see each other in person again. Soon hopefully.
Sheila Bella:
Yep. Planning on it.
Michelle Rukny:
All right my dear.
Sheila Bella:
You have such a great audience too. You have a good community. Oh my gosh. Guys, thank you.
Michelle Rukny:
Yeah. Thank you so much for tuning in everybody. All right. Well, have a wonderful evening and I will talk to you later.
Sheila Bella:
Bye.
Michelle Rukny:
Bye.
Sheila Bella:
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's episode of Pretty Rich Podcast. If you want to continue the conversation longer, check me out on Instagram. It's my favorite place to connect with you guys at Real Sheila Bella. I'm happy to answer any of your questions or simply to chat and get to know you better. And if you end up doing something super awesome, like screenshotting this episode and reposting it on your stories, that would put the biggest smile on my face. Don't forget to tag me. I appreciate every share and love feedback from my listeners.
Also, do you have my number? Do you have my number? Because if we're going to keep hanging out, you should probably have my number. So you can actually text me, that's right, you can text me at (310) 388-4588. And if you're sick and tired of doing business alone and you're interested in accelerating your success by hiring a business coach or joining our mentorship program called Pretty Rich Bosses, go ahead and just apply. Why not check it out? Go to sheilabella.com/apply and we'll schedule a free strategy session with either myself or one of my advisors. And of course, I got to include my kids. So here to send us off are Beau and Grey.
Grey, say, "Share with your friends."
Grey:
Share with friends.
Sheila Bella:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Grey:
Choo-choo mama iTunes.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks for listening.
Grey:
Thanks for listening.
Sheila Bella:
Hey Beau, can you tell everybody what our family motto is?
Beau:
Yeah. I can do hard things.
Sheila Bella:
I can do hard things. Good job, buddy.
