Ep. 123: Tess Marti: How To Recover From Betrayal In The Business, PMU Boss Babes Listen Up
The beauty industry is full of so much beauty but it can also be very ugly.
This industry can be really cutthroat and it can be hard to know who you can and can't trust. I've been burned a number of times since I've been in PMU. I've had those who I literally considered family betray me. For those of you who are fresh in the industry, who are new and don't have a lot of connections, that can be very frightening.
Enter Tessa Marti who, while she's only been in the industry for two years now, is incredibly beyond her years. She's not only incredibly skilled but she has taken so many risks in her business. With those risks she's faced her own fair share of betrayals. In this episode, we're going to dig into her story to understand how to recover from betrayal in the beauty busy and get some advice on how to grow into your own.
Here are the episode highlights:
‣‣ [01:56] First I want to introduce Tess Marti to those of you who are unfamiliar with her (which, by the way, if you don't know who Tess is you need to get REAL familiar with her fast because she is a name to be watching out for).
‣‣ [11:29] Then Tess gives us more of her background herself: how she grew up, how she got into PMU, whether she thinks lip blush or brows are harder.
‣‣ [20:21] Here Tess and I start to get into the real meat of the episode where we share our experiences of being ripped off and betrayed by other artists.
‣‣ [25:29] Tess shares her story of when she first started in PMU and realized that the woman she worked under was taking advantage of her work.
‣‣ [27:59] How do you, as the owner of a studio, keep a good working relationship with your artists? So many artists that have worked for others in salons and shops have had bad experiences because their relationships were so toxic - but I've had the same 7 artists in my studio for 5 or more years now.
‣‣ [32:19] I ask Tess for advice she has for new artists who are afraid to collaborate because they're afraid of some kind of betrayal.
‣‣ [38:08] Tess is very open and easy to talk to and I can tell that she's really comfortable with herself. Here she talks about a public speaking class that she invested in that really helped her with her confidence.
‣‣ [38:08] Tess is very open and easy to talk to and I can tell that she's really comfortable with herself. Here she talks about a public speaking class that she invested in that really helped her with her confidence.
HOW DO I BEAT BETRAYAL IN THE BEAUTY BIZ?! (Listen Here)
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You can enjoy a transcript of the podcast here.
Sheila Bella:
How to heal from betrayal in the beauty business. Guys, this is about to get super real right now. As we do, today, I have Tess Marti, and we're going to talk about a lot of things that are uncomfortable, that nobody ever talks about. The beauty industry is so beautiful that it's actually super ugly. And yeah, we're going to spill the tea, right here on Pretty Rich podcast.
Welcome to Pretty Rich podcast where you're totally the heroine of your own story. I'm your host, Sheila Bella. And I built a seven figure PMU beauty biz, and a seven figure online biz without a degree, without a fancy website, or a sugar daddy. And if you and I hang out on here long enough, you're going to start to believe that you can do it too. How about that for a side effect of listening to this podcast? Because you really can.
I know you think I don't know you, I have no idea who you are. But I do. I really, really do, because I am you, I was you. And I believe we are all on the same journey together. My perfect job didn't exist. So I created it. The job I wanted, wasn't hiring me, wanted nothing to do with me. So I skipped the line and hired myself as CEO, just like you can. So consider me your secret beauty biz BFF in case you need to be reminded on a weekly basis that power is never just handed to you. You have to take it. Are you ready beauty boss? Let's jump in.
Hey friends! I'm so excited to share today's episode with you. It is actually repurposed from a live that I did with the one and only Tess Marti. She is the lip blush queen. This IG live was probably one of the most commented IG lives I've ever done, and for good reason.
Tess Marti is 23. 22, 23, one of those. I forgot already. 22, 23 years old. But she is like a sage, you guys. I'm 38 now. Oh my gosh! I can totally be her mom. Anyway, I was not anywhere near where Tess is mentally, emotionally when I was 22, 23 years old. And in the short time she's been in the beauty industry and been in the permanent makeup industry, don't let no years fool you, because she's been certified about two years, she has risked a lot in those two years.
Some of you all have been in the industry for five years, but you keep to yourself. You don't take that many risks. So when you don't take risks, and when you don't invest in yourself, you might as well have been in the industry for six months. For instance, Tess Marti, who took a ton of risks, and I think listening to this podcast you're going to understand, and I hope it lights a fire under your butt cheeks, and hopefully encourage you to take some dang risks yourself, because shame on us all if this 22, 23 year old is just killing the game and we're here sitting on the couch, just afraid to put ourselves out there. I mean, come on!
Before we start, I wanted to share something with you guys. If you have been listening to this podcast, or following me on Instagram, and you've told yourself, "One day I'm going to work with Sheila Bella. One day I'm going to reach out to her so she can help me build my beauty business. I'm going to reach out to her so she can help me get more clients. I'm going to reach out so she can help me get more students. I'm going to reach out so she can help me get more customers for my online store. I'm going to reach out to Sheila Bella, finally, so that she can help me build a personal brand, because everybody knows that attention is currency, and Sheila Bella knows how to get it, and she can teach me."
If you've ever thought about reaching out for any of those reasons, here is your catalyst to do it. Pretty Rich Bosses is my mentorship program. And it's my mastermind where I take beauty entrepreneurs, just like you, who know that you have so much more inside, and guide you so you can make your dreams a reality.
This isn't a sales pitch for, "Oh! I'm going to make all your dreams come true." No. This is strategical. This is inspirational. This is accountability. This is a relationship. Mentorship is the quickest way to get from A to B. Stop taking advice from people who have never achieved the results that you want to achieve. Stop it, stop asking advice from your friends, your husband even, your pets, I don't know.
Only take advice from people who have the results that you want. And if your goal is to crush 2021 and make it your year, because this year has been pretty crappy to you, I suggest you check us out once and for all, because our rates will be going up next year. So this is your last chance to snag Pretty Rich Bosses mentorship program at the 2020 rate. Only until the end of the year are we going to be offering our 2020 rates. And it takes some time. So let's get on with it, girl.
If it's not a good time, my question for you is, when is the perfect time to start prioritizing the things that you say are important to you? You say it every day, "This is important to me. This is my dream." It will never not be scary. Picking up the phone or submitting an application with us, reaching out will never not be scary.
So stop waiting until it's no longer scary, because you'll be waiting forever. The time is now. And all you need to do is either send me a direct message on Instagram, or just go to sheilabella.com/apply. sheilabella.com/apply. And this program is going to change your life if you let it, I promise. Hopefully, I can get on the phone with you and schedule a 60 minute strategy call, or any one of my awesome advisors. Again, that's sheilabella.com/apply.
Okay. One more thing before we get to Tess Marti, I just wanted to remind you that we are giving away a free online course. We're giving away a free online course, completely on me, and all you have to do is leave us a five star review on iTunes, with some honest feedback about how this podcast has inspired you, has helped shaped your thinking, et cetera, et cetera.
And I'd love to read it. I read all of the reviews. And I would love to read yours. And at the end of the month, we will choose one lucky reviewer to receive a free online course completely on the house of their choice. And remember, if you don't leave your Instagram handle in the review, then we have no way of contacting you. So aside from just leaving a review, make sure that you include your Instagram handle. And mine is @realsheilabella.
All right. I'm going to stop talking. Without further ado, here is Tess Marti. I love her. Here we go.
Hi you guys! What's going on? Surprise, surprise. It's Friday, and we are going live. I have an incredible guest for you guys today. I have Tess Marti from Vancouver, BC, who is going to be joining us.
As you guys know, Tess Marti is the lip blushing queen. And I'm so excited to have her on here. I feel like I just sprung this on you like, "Surprise." We were supposed to do just an audio only podcast. And I was like, "What are we doing? Let's go live. Let's get it in. Let's create some content." And guys, you know all about the gift of repurposing content.
Okay. So I'm going to bring her on. I'm so excited today. Workout done. Now, I'm about to kill this live. We are about to kill this live. There she is.
Tess Marti:
Hey! How is it going, Sheila?
Sheila Bella:
Good. I am caffeinated. I worked. I have my lashes on. It's minimal, but it's all in a morning's work. How are you doing?
Tess Marti:
Good. I'm doing good. I've got my tea. I didn't do my workout yet. But I'll be doing that after. But I'm still super-hyped for this. I've been looking forward to this for a long time.
Sheila Bella:
Oh! I've been looking forward to chatting with you too. What's up, Michelle? She says nice haircut.
Tess Marti:
I know. I just got my haircut last night.
Sheila Bella:
Last night? Oh my gosh! It's so good.
Tess Marti:
Thanks.
Sheila Bella:
It's LLB, right? The long bob?
Tess Marti:
Yes. I know. And long hair is too much to handle during quarantine. I have it up all the time anyway. So just wanted to chop it, and it feels really good.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. It looks really good.
Tess Marti:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
I need to get a unit that's a lob since it's in style right now. Guys, we have a really juicy topic for you today. Today, cheers, we're going to be talking. I feel like for the topic that we're about to talk about, there should be wine, but it's not.
Tess Marti:
Or tea. It's the tea.
Sheila Bella:
It's the tea, you're right. So today we're going to be talking about how to heal from betrayal in the beauty business. So if you're an artist who's afraid to hire, maybe afraid to collaborate, maybe you're afraid to share ideas because fear of betrayal, getting taken advantage of. Maybe you've been banned. Maybe you've been in this industry a long time and you trusted some people, and you looked up to some people, and then you're like, "Wait a second! You're not who I thought you were." It is a good topic, right Michelle? Yep.
I see some of you on here. Sorry. I'm friends with a lot of people. This is a good topic because it's happened to me, it's happened to Tess, it's happened to a lot of you that are probably watching this. If you have been betrayed in the beauty industry, I want you to type a one in the comments. You don't need to say who. It's very anonymous. Just type in one in the comments.
Or if you harbor the same fears, let us know. Let us know, because today we are going to spill the tea and share some of our experiences. And also, I wanted to chat with Tess about her life and what made her the lip blushing queen. So it's all good things. All good things.
Okay. Before we get into today's topic, because it is super juicy and I think it's going to help a lot of people, I want to you to tell us about yourself, Tess. For those people who might be tuning into this live, seeing you for the first time, tell us all about you, and who you are, and how you came to be.
Tess Marti:
Who am I? I was raised Christian. I am still Christian.
Sheila Bella:
Hallelujah!
Tess Marti:
Yes. And I was born in Canada. My parents are both first gen. So yeah, I don't know. I grew up. I always loved makeup. I never grew up with a lot of friends in school. So being in this industry has been really amazing because I get to connect with tons of women who are like-minded and who have the same passions.
I like to play sports. I like to go to the gym. I'm really a social kind of butterfly. I really like to have a lot of different types of friends. Yeah. And I do permanent makeup. I don't know. That's pretty much it.
Sheila Bella:
You have 45000 followers, no big deal. She's the lip queen. She is the dark neutralization expert to go to, right? But you're being humble.
Tess Marti:
Thank you. Well, for me, I got into lips because lip tattoo, I thought it was going to be brows. When I first started, I took a brow course with Deluxe Brows. And then I took a course with Olena Oliynyk in Ireland. And I thought my big thing was going to be brows. And I don't know. Somehow I just got really popular with lips and that just took off, and now I dot even do brows anymore.
Tess Marti:
And I never used to do ... When I would do my makeup in high school and stuff, I would never wear lipstick. So it's just such a weird blessing in disguise that I'd been doing this lip tattooing.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, you're really freaking good at it.
Tess Marti:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
Guys, if you're seeing Tess Marti for the first time, go spy on her. Creep up on her Instagram because it is shocking how good you are with lip blush.
Tess Marti:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
It's literally shocking. Somebody sent me a picture of your work this morning, and I was like, "What? Oh my God!"
Tess Marti:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
One way ticket to Canada.
Tess Marti:
Lips aren't easy for sure. Go ahead.
Sheila Bella:
You know what? You're probably right, because the times I've done lips, I feel ... Don't you think that the learning curve is easier than brows?
Tess Marti:
Yes. Learning lips is easier. But doing them is definitely harder.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. I mean, to me, I mean, I know it's not that easy. For me, it's like light and fill. But with brows, it's so complicated. And so it's complicated. But anyway-
Tess Marti:
It's complex.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. You make it look so, so good. So before you became Tess Marti of today, of 2020, tell us who you were 10 years ago.
Tess Marti:
I was in high school. And mom had actually-
Sheila Bella:
Not me. Hold on. Not me. I was not in high school.
Tess Marti:
Well, you look like you were in high school.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you.
Tess Marti:
I was in high school. And yeah, I just loved makeup. I remember going to ... I would go to school with no makeup, bun on top of my head, sweat pants and everything. And then I would go to sports practices after school. And as soon as I would get home from school, I would do smoky eyes. And then I would wash it up. And then I would do it again.
And then I would go to sports practices. And everyone would be like, "Why are you wearing so much makeup?" All this stuff. But I just wore it because I liked to it. It wasn't for anybody else. So yeah. I don't know. I was always a makeup geek. I was in high school. I didn't really know what I wanted to be. But I knew it was something makeup related.
I always told my mom I wanted to be a makeup artist. But 10 years ago, doing makeup wasn't a serious job. Now you can do Instagram makeup, YouTube, film, editorial, weddings. Makeup is a serious job now. But 10 years ago, it wasn't. So when I was telling my mom that I wanted to do makeup, she was like, "Oh! You'll never make any money. So find something else."
So I didn't know what I wanted to do. I went to university for one year. I had a scholarship for creative writing because that was my second passion. But after one year, I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I knew that university wasn't it. So I came home. I had nothing to do.
And then my mom was like, "Now is the time to do microblading." So I didn't even want to take a course. But she was like, "Go. I'll pay for it if you take the course." And I was like, "Okay. Well, if you're going to pay for it, sure, why not? I'll try it out." And I went. And the first day, I was like, "Oh my gosh! This is what I want to do for the rest of my life." Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
So where did you first study lip blushing?
Tess Marti:
In Ireland with Olena Oliynyk.
Sheila Bella:
That's just wild.
Tess Marti:
Yeah. Very far from where I am. But back in 2017, I think that's when I started. She was the best. She was rated top permanent makeup artist of the year twice in a row. And I had just gotten out of a training with Deluxe Brows for microblading and powder brows. And I hated microblading. Props to anyone who does microblading, because that is not my thing.
I hated the sound. It sounds like VELCRO. I hated that. The blood, the cut, it's very tribal to me. And I don't like it. But I really love the machine work because the machine work reminds me a lot of painting and sketching and makeup, which is what ... It's the same hand movements, which was what I was always used to.
So after that class, I really wanted to get started with brows. But my mom was like, "No. You need to take another training." So we did a little bit more research. And we just loved Olena's work. And she has been the most amazing, even still today, the most amazing trainer and such a genuine person that I've taken a few trainings since then.
And I know we all take many a training we're not happy with. But that was one of the ... It's so important to invest with someone who's genuine and who actually cares. And that's not just about money or status thing when it comes to training, because if you're investing with someone who's genuine, you know you're going to get actual help and real help and have a real friend, because support after training is so important. But anyway, that was the background. That's where I left brows.
Sheila Bella:
That's really good. I know that that's a constant issue for a lot of people. If you've ever taken a bad training and you regret it, type a two in the comments. And if you've ever taken a good training and you didn't regret it one bit, type a three in the comments, because both do exist. I think that's important for people to know that both do exist, because I think what we hear about mostly in the forums is all the bad stuff. And it's really disheartening.
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My next question is, let's get to the topic. Tell us how you've been hurt or how you've been betrayed, because our topic today is how to heal from betrayal in the beauty business. And something that I always say is your business will only go as far as you're willing to heal. So healing is really important. I'm a Christian too. Forgiveness is really hard but really it's for you actually. It's for you. Releasing it is for you. And truly releasing it is for you.
So this is something, being betrayed or somebody just being bad to you in the industry, especially if it's a prominent person. It's something people don't like to admit that has been done to them, because I think they associate it with failure. I can totally relate to this. I'm talking about myself.
So they associate it with failure. And I think admitting that you've been burned by somebody in the industry, especially somebody that everyone looks up to, I think people might think ... You're afraid to admit it because you think people might think you're dumb. People might think you're a bad person, because they're fangirling over whoever it is that hurt you. People might think like, "Oh my gosh! You let that go? That happened to you? You lost money on that? Oh! You're not a #bossbabe. You're not the #bossbabe that I thought you were."
So I want to be open about this without giving a whole lot of details and throwing anyone under the bus. No. That's not what we're here to do. But I think us being open about it gives people permission to accept that it happened, and to have grace with yourself and to have grace for that other person, because Lord knows, we're all flawed. So both parties are flawed. I admit it.
And also I see it more as a rite of passage. You can't be in this industry and be totally in this industry without running through people who you may not be a good fit for. You have to try people on before you realize they're not a good fit. But everyone is a good fit at first. Everyone's a good fit when you're friends on Instagram. But once you get in the bed with them, then that's when you know.
And I see it as data. I just see it as data, just it's moments for learning more about yourself, and letting that person go with grace. So I'm on a rant. I want to know what have your experiences been with this topic, and do you feel those same feelings?
Tess Marti:
Well, I feel like for me, there's levels to this. So there's kind of like a basic level of, and I'm sure lots of other artists experience this, people stealing work. Sometimes it's just people stealing a photo, or people removing the name off the photo and re-posting it.
That never bothered. And then it really did start to bother me. And now it doesn't really bother me anymore. I mean, I just tell the person. At this point, thank God, my work is so recognizable that people will just know. If they see my work, they message me.
And that's also another good thing about, as an artist, finding your unique style, because you want to make your work recognizable and unique. And that's a way that people will be able to recognize your work through ... If the watermark is removed or on other people's pages.
That's kind of on the low scale. But I have had people ... Like I said, I don't want to name names. But I have had people steal money from me, thousands of dollars. I have had people get my client list, email my clients and trying to steal my clients. I've had people take my online course and rip it off and make their own.
And for some of these things, it's sad. But it happens. But for some of these things I've had to actually get lawyers involved and stuff like that, which is not what I wanted to do. But at the same time, you have to sometimes protect your business and protect yourself. Like you said, it's hard.
It's a hard situation because you work so hard for something, or you spent the hours making the money and doing the clients. Someone disrespects your time and money and value and work like that, that, to me, is so painful. It's so hurtful because I feel like I give out so much friendly energy, and I'm always there to support people. I never want to hurt anybody. I never want to steal anybody's work.
If I get inspiration from someone, I'll always tag them. So it hurts when to these people that I have had issues with, I've given them so much and helped their business grow so much, just out of the goodness of my heart, just because I really do love them and what to support them. And they go around and kind of take advantage of me like. Yeah. Those things are not good.
Sheila Bella:
When did that start happening for you in the industry? And how long have you been in the PMU, by the way?
Tess Marti:
I've been in permanent makeup for over three years now, which is not that long. But I mean, I work hard. I've been working hard.
Sheila Bella:
There have been people who've been here for longer than you who haven't accomplished as many things, because they don't go as hard. So I hear you. So when did you start having these experiences?
Tess Marti:
The first time was, honestly, when I first started working. I'm very young. And I've had to develop my talent over the years. And I was trained by someone really good. So I'm very young. And I feel like when I first started in the industry, I was very naïve. I did go and work at a shop where the lady who owns the shop was really helpful. She really helped me start my business.
But at the same time, because I was so busy and making so much money and doing so well, she was not following through the promises that she made me, because of the money that she was making off of me. And at the end, it was just a bloody mess, because when I finally quit and left, she made it really hard for me to leave because she made me feel like I needed, she was manipulative.
She made me feel like I needed her. But really, it was her needing me at the shop because I was doing so well.
Sheila Bella:
She knows that.
Tess Marti:
Because I was so young though, I had no idea. I didn't know. I had never worked for anyone before. I was so naïve and young. Now that I've been through that experience, as soon as I get a bad vibe from somebody, I'm not going to be rude. I'm just going to say, "Nice to talk to you. Goodbye." Because your intuition is always right.
And when I worked at that shop, the first day I went in there, I had an intuition. But because I wanted to take the step into permanent makeup, and I was so determined and so excited to get into this field, I didn't care. I was like, "I feel bad vibe. But I really don't care. I just want to do this thing."
And it ended up, honestly, without her, I wouldn't be where I am today. It was a good learning experience. But it's just sad that it ended so bad, and there was all the other drama and stuff.
Sheila Bella:
Gosh. I can totally relate to that. And I've been on both sides. I've been on both sides. I had 14 permanent makeup artists at one point. And now, I have seven. And my artists are so amazing. We're all best friends. And everyone there has been there for five years or more. And people are like, "How do you keep them?" I'm like-
Tess Marti:
Yes. How do you keep them?
Sheila Bella:
I don't know. I don't know if I could tell you exactly what I'm doing. But I feel like-
Tess Marti:
Because you're so good, that's for sure. Obviously, you love them and you treat them well, and they appreciate and respect you too. You guys definitely have a good relationship, because I worked at a few shops. And yeah. Bad vibes, bro. That's all I got to say.
Sheila Bella:
Just straight up. Simple as that advice goes. For me, as a leader, I could totally relate to that. I think it's important. And this took me a while to realize that people who work with you, I like saying with you, not for you. People who work with you and are part of that journey of your life don't owe you anything. They don't owe me anything.
I get it now. And this came from a scarcity mentality when I first started in this industry. That like, "Oh! They're going to take my clients. They're going to ..." Now, I truly just support them. Just like, "Yeah. Go, fly." Now I know that ... Also, it comes from the fear that you can be duplicated.
Before, when I was first starting in the industry, to me, all I was was brows. I was brows. And I didn't have a personal brand. And if my Instagram page and my portfolio was just a bunch of brow pictures, of course I will feel threatened because that's easy to duplicate.
Or let's say somebody has a physical product. If you are just your physical product and it's easy to duplicate, you just call up China and be like, "Yo! Can you design, take a picture and do this? Put my company logo, slap my name on it." If you are just your product, if you are just your ... And you don't have a personal brand, you don't show up, of course you're going to feel scarcity. Of course, you're going to feel threatened because it is easy to duplicate that. But the more you show yourself, the more you, like what we're doing now, the more human you become.
Tess Marti:
Yes, it's very humanizing, which is important.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Then you're like, "This is hard to duplicate." So you realize that, yes, you can't be duplicated. You have an abundance mindset. And now, I've had 14 artists work for me before. Now we're at seven. I could write a novel for, and I kind of want to, each and every one of those people that ended up trying to work for themselves and not doing well, to be honest. And I'm like, "Oh! What am I afraid of? They can't do it." At the beginning, you have no idea.
And also if any of them truly were to be successful on their own, you got to be really happy for them. So yeah. So I think it's just a grace with yourself. Where the ugliness comes from, like the lady you used to work for, that ugliness comes from a scarcity mindset for sure and fear. We're a little off topic, but yeah.
So let's move on to the next question. What advice would you give to a new artist who's afraid to collaborate, afraid to hire, afraid to show up? What are you doing here? Go. My six year old. What advice would you give to a new artist who's afraid to collaborate, show up, open up?
Tess Marti:
Well honestly, this is something that I learned really late. And like I said, my dad is also a business owner. And he works really independently. So I kind of grew up and saw that he didn't associate with other people in his industry. I mean, he did hire this person. He hired that person. But it was always business specific.
And coming into this industry, and me not having a lot of friends growing up, I was excited to talk to people. But the more I got immersed in the industry, the more I built longterm relationships, friendships, helped others, for help, and built this network of people. This is my third-ish year. So this year was the year that I realized how important networking is, and getting help.
Like you said, the more human you are, the more relationships you build, honestly, the more it helps your business. Obviously, we are in a competitive industry. I have competition. You have competition, whatever. And sometimes I get insecure, or I have a moment of insecurity because I think, "Oh! This person is doing so well." And I feel like I'm lacking so hard.
But maybe they also are very human. I have a lot of friends in the permanent makeup industry who love me because I'm genuine and it's very clear to see who I am. And people really trust and love that. And I feel like it's the same with you. Instantly, people know exactly who you are, what your message is. And it makes them remember you and feel more connected with you.
I feel like being more open and vulnerable is huge. We all go through struggles. And it's just good to connect and help each other out. It's so hard to go through this industry alone, especially if you want to climb the ladder. You cannot do it on your own. You need to make good connections, make good friends, make as many friends as you can, support each other, comment.
But again, it has to be from the heart. If that isn't you, it's always going to come off as not genuine.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. You can't fake it.
Tess Marti:
Yeah. You can't fake it. So networking is huge.
Sheila Bella:
That is good advice. This is why you're in your third year, and you're so much further ahead, because you're so wise. Is that a Jesus thing? That must be Jesus.
Tess Marti:
I think so.
Sheila Bella:
That must be Jesus. I realize I'm wearing a blessed hat with a cross.
Tess Marti:
Oh! I didn't even notice, funny.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. I forgot too, because it's backwards right now. That's such good advice. I used to be so afraid of people, no joke. I was in the very first microblading class. Yeah. The very first microblading class in the US that Tina Davies ever hosted. It was at Brow Masters in Florida.
And I remember just sitting there with Linda Dixon, who's the AAM president. It's weird that I'm the AAM president now. It's so weird. And Joyce [Cerasola 00:35:34], and all the matriarchs of our industry. And I remember sitting there, just really wanting to blend the F in. I just really want to blend in. I don't want you to pay attention to me. I don't want you to see me, because I don't want to get involved. I don't want to get involved.
And then out of nowhere, Tina just kept messaging me. And I was like, "Okay. I think she wants me to talk." I was like, "Wow! She's really great." And now, oh my gosh! The networking in this industry is so important. You get there a lot further with a tribe. You need to find your PMU tribe.
Tess Marti:
Yes. And what I found is that most other ... When I wasn't as, I guess, big as I am now, with just following and people taking my trainings and stuff, I was reaching out to bigger artists. And to my surprise, a lot of people ... Some people would respond really well. Like Hoi Tattoo-
Sheila Bella:
I love her.
Tess Marti:
I love her. She was a big name that from the start was always there to be a friend and support. And then I reached out to some people who weren't. So supportive.
I mean, if someone doesn't reply to you, or if someone doesn't want to have that connection, it's probably meant to be that way. But typically, if you're nice to people, they want to be nice back. Whenever someone, I don't know. Maybe someone messages me or whatever, I mean, now my DMs are just flooded. But I try to get back to whoever I can and help if I have the time, because it's important to help each other.
I've burnt a few relationships accidentally, and even just from people spreading rumors that I wish never were burnt because now my success may be a little limited because they have something that maybe I want to have. And I can't have it because they don't like me, or they've heard this about me, or whatever. You know what I mean?
Sheila Bella:
You're so honest. Oh my gosh! You're comfortable with yourself. I love it.
Tess Marti:
It wasn't always that way. But I know it feels good. Feels good to say how it is.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. I love you. Guys, she's ... Okay. I love that we're having this conversation. Okay. So let's press on. You're really comfortable with yourself, right? And I can see that, we can feel it. It's apparent. And then you told me in the DMs that you recently invested in a public speaking class, right?
Tess Marti:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. Did that class kind of help you come to your own?
Tess Marti:
Oh! 100%. That was the best money that I've ever spent in my entire life.
Sheila Bella:
Wow!
Tess Marti:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
That's amazing. I think that's really fascinating because I think as permanent makeup artists, we believe that the thing that's going to get us to the next level is our artistry. It's learning more techniques, it's buying new machines. But we forget that we should also invest in our personal growth like public speaking, because public speaking is a part of this gig. It is a skill that you can use to help you gain leverage in this industry and find success. So what did that class teach you?
Tess Marti:
Well, it was a three day class. Initially, I was asked to do a conference for the Vegas Permanent Makeup Conference, which I just did online last month. And then also Christina, which I saw her in this live. I don't know if she's still here. But she asked me to be a part of SBCC, where we were both together.
And I knew that I cannot go on stage in front of 100 people and say ... I cannot tell you how anxious public, putting myself out there made me feel. In grade 12, I ran for class president. And I got up, and in front of like only 40 people and all the teachers, and I was literally shaking. And I had notes on my hand that I was reading. And it was the most humiliating moment of my life. And still to this day, I cringe inside thinking of that. Oh my gosh! I choked. I was like, "Okay. I can't do this. Thank you." And I just left. And it was so embarrassing.
So when I was asked to speak at these conferences, I wanted to do it, 100%, because it's helping others. First of all, it's helping yourself and your own business. And I just wanted to grow as a person. I didn't want to live with this limit in my life.
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh!
Tess Marti:
So I knew that I needed to take a class because one of my clients had recommended me. So I went, and I did some research. And I found this guy. He teaches a bunch of people how to do their TEDx talks, and he teaches a lot of celebrities how do public speaking. So I messaged him. And he was like, "Yes. A three day class."
So I went and I took the class not really expecting much. I had a mental breakdown in the class. And I'm really composed. Like you said, I'm very sure of myself. I'm very confident. I feel like I have a lot of self control is what I'm trying to say.
And when I had taken the class, I literally had a mental breakdown because I realized how hard it was for me to put myself out there in front of tons of people, because I was insecure of who I was. And I always through I was a confident, secure person to myself. But that class made me realize how insecure I was, because public speaking is about you. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's not about other people.
If you're scared about what other people think of you, it's not about other people. It's about you. That's an issue with your own self confidence, because generally people want to see you succeed and people want to see you win.
So that, for me, was just ... I was like, "Oh my gosh!" My confidence, I didn't know that I had this low of a confidence, which was good, because then I targeted the issue of where does ... I need to work on who I am, and I need to believe and trust in myself and love myself more, which I started doing.
And then a week before the conference, he called me. And he was like, "How are you doing?" And I said, "I'm good. I'm happy I took the class. But I'm really nervous." And he said, "Well, why are you nervous?" And I said, "Well, I'm scared of what's going to happen when I'm on stage." And he said, "Well, where does that fear come from?"
And instantly, I was taken back to childhood memories of little tests like what's going to happen when my parents, they didn't have a good relationship. So I would come home from school and I would see my parents together, whatever. And I always had this fear. I feel like growing up of like, "Oh! What's going to happen today in my household."
And I found that fear in doing public speaking and putting yourself in such a vulnerable place would make me feel that same fear of what's going to happen. And then all this anxiety would come. And it shakes you up, and then you can't think straight and everything else. But once I feel like you …
What I'm trying to say is that he really helped me target the issues in my own self that I never knew were there. And now, like you said, we're doing this live together, I feel totally comfortable. This would never ever, ever, ever happen for me before. Like ever.
Sheila Bella:
What? I think because you're so comfortable, it makes me comfortable.
Tess Marti:
Yes. And it's important for clients too. When a client comes in, a lot of people are nervous. A lot of people, they don't know how it's going to go. They're trusting but they're not sure. So it's really important to talk with your client and be confident and be comfortable in yourself in order for them to do the same, because our energies vibe off of each other.
If my client's feeling anxious and insecure and flustered and they're saying negative things, and I try, try my best and they keep doing it, I can't compete with that. I automatically get negative as well, and I don't want to do the procedure anymore. And it happens on a rare occasion. But it does still happen. So yeah. It's really important to have this confidence, comfortability and I don't know how to say it. Courage, I want to say.
Sheila Bella:
Well, I think it's self-acceptance. That's what it boils down to. And you highlighted something so important that public speaking is not just what to say, or how to say it. It's a lot of inner work. A lot of childhood work. Where does this fear come from?
We're all afraid of not belonging. We're all afraid of being made fun of. And then I think for me, what has helped me is once I realized that every single person who's watching me has those same exact fears, I'm like, "Oh! Okay." It reminds you of your power. And it reminds you that you're just like everybody else, that nobody is really paying attention to me. They're paying attention to themselves, because everyone is super self-conscious. No one is looking this intently. Everyone is thinking about themselves, right?
Tess Marti:
Yeah. Another thing I've learned in the class is that, like I just said, people always want to see you succeed. People generally are wanting to see you succeed. I always used to think that people are always judging me, and people were going to judge me on stage.
And I'm really young. I am 22. So going in a stage in front of all these women who are older than me, and even working with people who are older than me, it can be kind of scary for me. So-
Sheila Bella:
You're so advanced now. Oh my God!
Tess Marti:
It's because of the struggles and the trainings.
Sheila Bella:
Well, also because you risk higher. Years don't mean anything. You risk more.
Tess Marti:
That's huge for growth. Risking it all is going to take you so far. And that's another thing I've learned actually too.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Oh my gosh!
Tess Marti:
Big risk, big outcome.
Sheila Bella:
I love too your attitude towards that, because you said you didn't want this thing to limit you. So you were proactive about it. I feel like I want to be ... If my kids grow up like you, I feel a little maternal right now.
Tess Marti:
I can be your child.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Let me see the math. I don't know. I'm 38. No, I don't know.
Tess Marti:
You'd be a young mom. You'd be a very young mom.
Sheila Bella:
Oh yeah. I could, that's true. Oh my God! That's so weird. I mean, I'm so proud. I'm so proud.
Tess Marti:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
If my kids had that seed in them, that gene in them, where it's like, "I know that this thing is limiting me. I'm going to be proactive and do something about it."
Tess Marti:
Yeah. Well, I didn't realize that I would go so far with permanent makeup. But I think a lot of it was me wanting to grow myself. Not only grow my business, but prove to my younger self and prove to my insecurities, "You can do this, dude. You can do this. And all you have to is work hard, push through and try."
And I cannot explain how far just this optimistic and positive and courageous attitude and attributes have taken me, because if you're limiting yourself and you're limiting you as a person, you might be comfortable living in your little bubble. But you won't ever go and experience all the joys of …
I was telling one of my cousins last night. The happiest moment of my life was when I stepped off that stage at SBC, and I went to the bathroom and I was literally smiling so hard and crying because-
Sheila Bella:
I'm getting chills right now.
Tess Marti:
Yeah. I was so happy and proud of myself. That was the happiest moment of my life. And if I didn't push through and risk it all, and be in ... Literally, public speaking was my biggest fear. So I didn't put myself in the most uncomfortable position, I never would've felt that joy. And ever since, I've trying to chase more of it.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. That high. You realize now that overcoming scary things, everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear. So it gets addicting. And you learned that early.
Tess Marti:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Oh gosh! Guys, this is a lesson in parenting too, because I try to create those moments for my two kids at three and six. I'm trying to ... That's the adult version. But recreating those. So they have a memory bank of overcoming fear and doing hard things. I feel like that will trickle into their attitude as adults. So I'm trying.
Can we just take a little bit of Tess Marti and put it in a vile and distribute it to the world? I feel like that would be so amazing. Oh my gosh!
So second to last question. If you had a billboard in Times Square, I stole this from Tim Ferriss and I love it. And I don't care. If you had a billboard at Times Square for 24 hours that could say anything, like a quote or something like that. It could be yours, it could be somebody else. But it's a message you can share with all of New York City and all over the world, what would it say?
Tess Marti:
This one was really hard. But for my senior quote, I took a quote from Stephen King. And at the moment where I put the quote in, I thought, "This quote relates so much to me." And then a couple of years after I graduated high school, I was like, "Oh! That quote was so stupid. Why did I put that quite in there? It's so dumb."
But when you sent me the DM like, "Think about a quote." I was like, "It's still that quote, man. That quote is so good." And it's “the scariest moment is always right before you start.” And it's so true every single time.
It's so open ended too. And we're all going through things. We're all going through things that we need to start something. Maybe we need to start going through, I don't know, a divorce, or we need to start going through something that's going to make our business better, or we need to start doing therapy or whatever.
And the scariest moment is always when you sit there and you think, and you have all the negative thoughts. And you think, "Oh! I don't know if I can do this. Blah, blah, blah." But once you do it, the rest is easy. And it's so rewarding. So I think yeah. I think that is a quote that can relate to anybody. And it's so true. It's such a true thing.
Sheila Bella:
Wow! So good. I hear you. And it will forever be that way. It holds up.
Tess Marti:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
I don't know if my senior quote holds up. That's so funny. I was like, "What was the senior quote?" My quote was, I don't who said it, go for your dreams as if your life depended on it, because it does. That sounds [crosstalk 00:51:32].
Tess Marti:
And yeah, it does.
Sheila Bella:
And it's still good.
Tess Marti:
That's a good one too.
Sheila Bella:
That's so funny. I love you even more now. Thank you so much for being you.
Tess Marti:
Thank you, Sheila.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you for taking that public speaking class that helped you be more comfortable and share yourself.
Tess Marti:
Everybody should do one.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, because it's a lot of mindset work. But I'm so grateful for you, that you were willing to do this.
Tess Marti:
Thank you, Sheila.
Sheila Bella:
And open up, I feel like I connected with you on a completely different level. And now I hope we can connect in person. You're such a beautiful person.
Tess Marti:
Thank you, Sheila.
Sheila Bella:
And where can we find you, because the audio of this will be repurposed for our podcast? So where can we find you? And how can we work with you?
Tess Marti:
You can find me on Instagram, Tess Tattoo, @tesstattoo. And I do have a Facebook group for people who do lip tattooing work. If you want to join the group, it's called Lip Queens. So Lip Queens is a really group to join. It's really supportive, all positive vibes. There's not really …
Me and Nadine Minns started it, who's another permanent makeup artist from South Africa. And we wanted to make the group, like I said, really supportive. We monitor the group so that there's no negativity. And we kick anyone out who's being rude.
I know as a beginner artist it feels scary to share your work. But we really wanted to create a space where you can grow. So if you want to join the group and learn more and ask questions, please do, at Lip Queens of Facebook. I also have my website, tesstattoo.com. And you can email me at [email protected] if you have any questions.
Sheila Bella:
She gave her email, you guys. Direct access. I love you. Thank you so much for doing this. And I'm going to put those links in the show notes to this podcast. And if you guys are on Instagram Live and you're like, "Wait! What podcast?" This is actually a podcast for Pretty Rich podcast on iTunes, Spotify and Google Play, which I'm so excited because I'm in the top 100. And I've been working really hard at this now for about two-ish years. And I'm so grateful.
Thank you Tess.
Tess Marti:
Thank you Sheila.
Sheila Bella:
Everybody else, just stalk her. Stalk the crap out of her. Double click on all the lip photos. And we'll talk to you guys next time. Bye everyone.
Tess Marti:
Bye. Thanks Sheila.
Sheila Bella:
You're welcomed. Bye.
Sheila Bella:
Hey! Thanks so much for listening to today's episode of Pretty Rich Podcast. If you want to continue the conversation longer, check me out on Instagram. It's my favorite place to connect with you guys, @realsheilabella. I'm happy to answer any of your questions or simply to chat and get to know you better.
And if you end up doing something super-awesome like screenshoting this episode and re-posting it on your stories, that would put the biggest smile on my face. Don't forget to tag me. I appreciate every share, and love feedback from my listeners.
Also do you have my number? Do you have my number? Because if we're going to keep hanging out, you should probably have my number. So you can actually text me. That's right. You can text me at 3103884588.
And if you're sick and tired of doing business alone, and you're interested in accelerating your success by hiring a business coach, or joining our mentorship program called Pretty Rich Bosses, go ahead and just apply. Why not? Check it out. Go to sheilabella.com/apply. And we'll schedule a free strategy session with either myself or one of my advisors.
And of course, I got to include my kids. So here to send us off are Beau and Grey. Grey, say share with your friends.
Grey:
Share with your friends.
Sheila Bella:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Grey:
[inaudible 00:55:35] mommy on iTunes.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks for listening.
Grey:
Thanks for listening.
Sheila Bella:
Hey Beau, can you tell everybody what our family motto is?
Beau:
Yeah. I can do hard things.
Sheila Bella:
I can do hard things. Good job, buddy.
