Ep. 53: Listener's Q&A Answering Your Burning Questions About The Beauty Business, Permanent Makeup, Relationships & Confidence
Do you have a friend where every time you sit down and actually talk to them it's like a revelation? Like you're just so much on the same wavelength and every time you talk about what's going on in your life, all your life's questions, you come away feeling so deeply understood?
Well, Anthea and I are here to be those friends for you. Anthea is a really good friend of mine and every time we talk, well, you just never know what good you're gonna get out of it. Really, it's a surprise every time. We like to keep you on your toes! But in the best way possible.
In this episode, we're answering allllll your burning questions. We talk about getting your priorities straight, managing your time efficiently, The Rock, and getting your beauty business started. Let us help you, girl.
Here are the episode highlights:
‣‣ [03:24] Are your priorities in the right place?
‣‣ [09:39] How do you juggle all of your responsibilities and hobbies while taking care of yourself and not getting overwhelmed?
‣‣ [16:39] How do you find your tribe? What are your qualifications? How do you know who is deserving of your time and energy?
‣‣ [24:26] Do you think it's possible to have multiple careers?
‣‣ [27:05] How do you still start your business after having bad training?
‣‣ [31:54] How do you deal with haters and keeping up your confidence and motivation when you have haters?
I NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS BFF Q&A RIGHT NOW! (Listen Here)
I love getting to talk with Anthea and I'm sure that you want more of her too! You can keep up with her on Instagram right here!
You can follow me, Sheila Bella, on Instagram @realsheilabella!
Here are the links that were mentioned in the podcast!
Grow Your Gram
Online Course Workshop
FOR MY LISTENER BOSS BABES
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You can enjoy a transcript of this podcast here.
Sheila Bella:
Welcome to the Pretty Rich Podcast, where every woman is the heroine of her own story. I'm your host, Sheila Bella. And I built a million dollar beauty business from nothing. So maybe if you listened enough, you'll start to believe that you can do it too. Because if the perfect job doesn't exist, well, you can create it. If the job you want isn't hiring you, you can unapologetically hire yourself.
Each episode will equip you with empowering conversations on how to grow a lifestyle that's pretty rich in love, beauty, wellness, and financial wealth. I'm Sheila Bella, beauty business coach, celebrity brow artist, global success speaker, author, serial entrepreneur, wife, mother, friend, daughter, and your forever positive beauty biz sales guru. Let's go.
Hey, you guys. What's going on? It's Sheila Bella. And today's episode of Pretty Rich Podcast is sponsored by the Pretty Ambitious Summit. You guys, it is time. It's time to level up. I am so excited to be basically creating my perfect weekend, but for you guys. This is the first time any event like this has ever been created. It is a focus on permanent makeup, and beauty business skills that have to do with, not the technique, but the business side of it.
We guys. We guys? Yeah, we guys. Okay. We guys are going to teach you things about how to create a viable, permanent makeup business. And you are not only going to be learning from me, you are going to be learning from masters in the industry who have done it themselves. You guys ever wonder how these awesome permanent makeup artist celebrities on Instagram are basically editing their photos, and they look so amazing? And in the beauty business, you aesthetic matters, hello.
If you guys want to know how to hire and build a team, where to even start, if you want to know how to build an online course, if you want to know how to develop your own products, if you want to know how to book out your PMU training tour, you got to come. Because all of that will be taught, and so much more.
And, you guys, I haven't even announced the speakers yet, and VIP tickets are already selling out. Sister, you deserve to be in that room. And only for the month of August, we have a very special discount code that ends on August 31st, my husband's birthday. It's for $100 off. And the code is AMBITIOUSAUGUST, all caps. AMBITIOUSAUGUST. You will save $100 for every ticket tier. Just go to sheilabella.com/prettyambitioussummit. Or you can just go to my Instagram. The links in the bio. Everything is in the bio.
Today's episode is with Anthea. We have your burning questions answered today. You guys submitted some questions via Instagram, my favorite. And I'm sure you guys are going to find this episode quite eye opening and inspirational, or whatever it is you're going through.
But first, I just have some truth bombs right now that Anthea sent me through the DM. Check this out. Truth bomb, healthy grocery shop, $100. Too expensive. Dinner date, $100. Reasonable. What? That makes no sense. Months supplements, $100. Can't afford that. Night out drinking, $100. Weekly occurrence. Personal growth seminar, $750. Crazy talk. Gucci belt, $750. Need to have it. Starting a business, $1,000. Hmm, I can't justify that. iPhone XR, $1,000. Oh, the newest model is a necessity for sure. Yeah, no. 60 minutes at the gym. I wish I had time. 60 minutes watching Netflix. Time flies, binge watch another one.
Guys, get it together. There are two wolves living inside of you. I know that sounds crazy, but anyway. There's two wolves living inside of you. This anecdote was taken from a short story. So the first wolf is evil, it's anger, it's envy, it's jealousy, it's laziness, it's sorrow, it's regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, et cetera, et cetera. The other wolf is joy, peace, love, success, serenity, humility, kindness, generosity, empathy, truth, compassion, faith, future.
Sometimes the good wolf wins, and sometimes the bad wolf wins. But one of them needs to prevail in your life more than the other, one of them will. But what determines which wolf within you wins, is which wolf do you feed? One has an appetite for Gucci belts, the other has an appetite for personal growth seminars. One has an appetite for going to the gym, and the other has an appetite for Netflix. Catch my drift?
Who you are. Who you are can be shaped by you, by your choices, by how you fuel yourself. Whenever I see successful people, I always think, "She's feeding the right wolf. She's not feeding it junk. She invested in the right things." And you know what, the older I get ... Oh my God, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm going to say this, okay. The older I get, the less impressed I am with material things, with the nice handbags, and the nice shoes that I own by the way, that I own, but the less impressed I am with them, you guys.
Because I think about my $3,000 Gucci bag, and then I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I could have bought so many other things with that money for not only myself, but for the people I love. Things that are lasting. Such as personal development, or experiences, priceless experiences that I know will grow me for real."
And no, I'm not guilting you guys for having nice things, because I have them. And there is a time and a place. And ... I don't like saying, "But." And I still think that, yeah, there are some purses I have that I'm like, "I kind of regret this, because I mean, I like it, but not that much." And frankly, I could have fed the correct wolf. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?
I see millionaires too, you guys, I'm still going on this purse thing, okay. I still see millionaires who have bags from Target, and shoes from Payless. And they look great. And I'm thinking, it's so much cooler for everybody to know that you can afford that stuff, and yet, you choose not to. I'm 37. Is this a 37 year old thing to say? Because I mean, I think it's wisdom to be honest. And it took me a while to really get here. It took me investing in personal development, in a nutrition coach, in healthy food, in vacations that my family can enjoy, and connect through, in order for me to realize that, "Oh my gosh, these Louboutins, as beautiful as they are, but they're kind of uncomfortable, could have been a vacation to Bali." Isn't that crazy? With my kids. Or a second honeymoon with my husband. Come on.
With that said, I hope I see you at the Pretty Ambitious Summit next year in Santa Monica, March 2020. It's going to be one of those investments that is really going to transform you, that's truly going to last. You will not regret it. We are live. What's going on, you guys. Welcome to Pretty Rich Podcast. I'm here with Anthea.
Anthea:
What's up?
Sheila Bella:
What are we doing today, girl?
Anthea:
What are we doing today?
Sheila Bella:
We are doing Q&A. We're doing Q&A. We put up an Instagram post of questions that people had.
Anthea:
Let's do it.
Sheila Bella:
Okay.
Anthea:
[inaudible 00:09:19].
Sheila Bella:
Batches. I always spell it, B-A-H. B-A-H. Bah ... I want to make sure that breath is in there when you say it. Or B-H-A. Bha ... B-H-A. Okay. Okay.
Anthea:
I was like, "Batches." And people are like, "What?" Just nevermind. Forget it.
Sheila Bella:
Okay, this question is from Valerie. She asks, "How do you juggle family/friends, plus the company, without stressing it?"
Anthea:
Good question.
Sheila Bella:
How do you juggle family, friends, plus the company without stressing it? As if I had no stress. Yeah, I have stress. But I guess what she means is, how do I appear, maybe to you guys, so energetic I guess, and positive?
Anthea:
And together. You're together. Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I'm together.
Anthea:
How do you show up?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
Not looking crazy. Is that [inaudible 00:10:27]. No, we got deep real quick.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. How?
Anthea:
How do you show up to the world ...
Sheila Bella:
Because I have everything I need. Just like what we were talking about, I have everything I need. What do you need as a human being? Just your basic human needs? Food, shelter, water.
Anthea:
Okay, I'm going to ask you one bump on this.
Sheila Bella:
Okay, bump it up.
Anthea:
Okay.
Sheila Bella:
Bump it up.
Anthea:
You're a really good friend.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. I'm a really good friend.
Anthea:
How the hell do you do that, and run a multimillion dollar business, and still look amazinG?
Sheila Bella:
Oh, thanks.
Anthea:
But how do you do that? Because I'm learning from you as well. But that's without stressing, and looking all cray-cray. I think that's a bump on that question. How do you balance it all, and still be alive and breathing?
Sheila Bella:
It looks like I'm doing a lot, huh. Because I get this question all the time. So I'm like-
Anthea:
Because you are doing-
Sheila Bella:
I am a lot. I am. It is a lot. It is a lot. I don't quit. I just don't quit. I feel like this is how I was programmed. This is all I know. So I was able to do that because I delegated. I can't do it all. No one person can do all these things. And I am not a believer in the term self made, because I believe everybody has help of some sort. You can't make yourself.
Sheila Bella:
I used to have these sweats. I went to Fit Expo a few years ago, and I had these sweats, and then on the side it said, "Self made." I don't know if that was a real company. Sorry. But I was like, "I can't wear these anymore, this doesn't go with my philosophy."
Anthea:
She's [inaudible 00:12:22].
Sheila Bella:
Sorry, bye. But I mean, great, yes, you hustle for yourself. But I'm not. I have a team. And it's part of, I think, our Philippino culture where it's a village. It really is. But so I was able to go to your show because I asked my team, and I have never asked them this, and they were freaking out a little bit. I said, "I'm leaving in the middle of the day on the first day of our workshop." And they were like, "Okay." And I said, "I need you to take over."
and Leslie and Melody were like, "Oh. Okay. Okay." And I saw them breathe heavy a little bit. And they were a little scared. But I was like, "I can't." I was like, "I can't. I'm making a choice." You have to make a choice. Now, here's ... You can't do everything. You just can't. And you have to let go to grow. I could not have built this company on my own. There are some things in this place where I've closed my eyes to on purpose, because you have to trust people. And that's how I can go along without stressing.
Anthea:
Let go to grow.
Sheila Bella:
Let go to grow. Let go to grow.
Anthea:
Tweetable moment.
Sheila Bella:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Anthea:
Who uses Tweets still? But I don't know.
Sheila Bella:
Jen does. She's all over Twitter. But I have no idea what she's Tweeting about on there because I don't follow her.
Anthea:
Let go to grow.
Sheila Bella:
Let go to grow. Yeah. I think a lot of it is delegating.
Anthea:
And team.
Sheila Bella:
You have to delegate. That's how you ... Like right now. Like right now, I just told Julia, who doubles as my video editor and my nanny sometimes, she started out as my nanny. I just told her to upload our last podcast. And she did it. She's never done it before. And I was like, "I'm just going to take my own advice." And I said, "Here. Here." I was like, "I don't even know if she's going to do it right." At the back of my head, right. That's everybody though. And I was like, "She'll figure it out." You just need to trust that people will learn. But you have to take that risk.
Anthea:
But you, you have high standards. I know that. Hella high standards. So you bring on people, and surround yourself with people that you can trust to do that.
Sheila Bella:
Trust is a big deal. And I think ... I don't think it's reasonable to think that you're going to hire somebody who is already an ace at everything. What I look for in hiring is character, honesty. But the biggest thing is willingness.
Anthea:
So I know that you're super protective of your time, super protective of your space, and your tribe, because you are a busy woman. What do you look for, I guess, also in accepting new friends into your life?
Sheila Bella:
Wow. Oh, wow.
Anthea:
Because you ain't got time for [inaudible 00:15:42].
Sheila Bella:
Dang. Oh, man. Yeah, that's really hard. It's really hard. It's almost like, "Oh, man, I can't take any more new friends." Do you feel that way a little bit, or not really?
Anthea:
No. Well, sometimes. Sometimes I do, because they're like, "Hey, just let's hang out. Let's hang out." And I was like, "I'm going to sleep."
Sheila Bella:
She's starting at me blankly.
Anthea:
Because I do. I do. I do go through that. I do go through that. And then I say, "I love myself more. I'm going to sleep."
Sheila Bella:
Oh my God, we're such baby grandmas. Yes, I love my early bedtime. I love my family time, and my early bedtime. So yeah, it's a bummer to hang out with me at ... Find me at noon. Or five AM, let's go.
Anthea:
Let's go.
Sheila Bella:
You want to go on a hike where I live at five AM? Let's go. But we have to be back by six.
Anthea:
That's true. Because that's sexy to me. I'm like, "This is amazing. Let's make it quick." No, but for people that you want to attract in your tribe, does it always have to be entrepreneurs? Does it always have to be a mom?
Sheila Bella:
Wow, good question.
Anthea:
You know what I mean?
Sheila Bella:
Good question. I don't think of it that binary with, "Oh, they must have these qualifications." I don't think so. But as long as they are contributing as much as I am. Does that make sense? And it doesn't mean, oh, you need to be just as into self development as me, or just as smart as ... Not like that. There's different ways to contribute to a relationship. So we're all banks, and we have these deposits with one another. And that's our memory. Or the deposits come in the form of your time, I think is a good one. Just being there for people. So yeah, there's different ways. So the question is, what do I look for in a new friend? Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm not lookinG for new friends.
Anthea:
No applications. No applications taken.
Sheila Bella:
No wait list.
Anthea:
There's a-
Sheila Bella:
Not even a wait list.
Anthea:
Not even a wait ... But you do though. There's-
Sheila Bella:
I do pick people up though.
Anthea:
You do.
Sheila Bella:
I know.
Anthea:
People gravitate to you. You're not picking up, you're like, [crosstalk 00:18:10] you up right now. But you are so in my life. Yeah. There's a lot of people that gravitate towards you because you're so vulnerable, you're so powerful in that space, right. So not even how do you choose, but you're like ...
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. As closed as I am, or I'm telling you I am, I'm actually ... I know it. Once you're in front of me, I'm actually very open to your aura, your soul, and who you are.
Anthea:
[crosstalk 00:18:41].
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. When I meet people at events and stuff, I am like, "Oh my God, I want to make everyone my best friend."
Anthea:
You have that power though. You do, you do.
Sheila Bella:
And when they're right in front of me too. And then I just need to remember that I can't split my time even more. But there are people that I support, even on social media. Like Christine, Christine [inaudible 00:19:09]. She's on my podcast. When people get on my podcast, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, we're a [crosstalk 00:19:14].
Anthea:
Application taken.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, we are ...
Anthea:
Your application was submitted and accepted.
Sheila Bella:
Right.
Anthea:
You are hired as my friend. That true.
Sheila Bella:
Like Melissa Hibbert. I meet these incredible women who are probably just as busy, who get it just as much. Let's meet for lunch, let's connect. You know what I mean? Let's give each other value. And we both have things to do.
Anthea:
And then you go.
Sheila Bella:
Then you go.
Anthea:
So you fill up both of you, and then you go.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
I bump on that for sure.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
For sure.
Sheila Bella:
I already know this. When you were doing your show, Mama Mia, right, there were cast photos of people out late at night. And I was like, "Oh, freaking, but Anthea is not there."
Anthea:
Oh my ... Yes.
Sheila Bella:
I knew it. I knew it. I was like [crosstalk 00:20:04]. And I could hear you. I've never vocalized this before, but I could hear you turning people down at night when they were all going out to do stuff. And I ... Oh, God, I know you so well.
Anthea:
Yes, you do. There was no FOMO. I was like ... And they respected me for that.
Sheila Bella:
I could tell.
Anthea:
They did. They were like ... And then when I did go out to a party of theirs, and I have my meal prep, and whatever, what not, and then I said yes. They were like, "Wait, what?"
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
Yes. They were like, "Oh my gosh, you're coming out?" Yes, because it's in the daytime. And I do, I love ... We are not on the same journey all of us. And a hard no is sometimes fantastic. That boundary is huge for accountability for myself. I'm able to show up for myself flirts and foremost, give space to allow grace to happen, and for me to be there for my family, my friends, and my husband, who is easily the biggest supporter, and then the most forgotten.
Sheila Bella:
Oh gosh. Yeah, mm-hmm (affirmative). Guilty. [crosstalk 00:21:24]. So sorry.
Anthea:
You know what I mean? But that, that ... Yes, that's hilarious, because it was a big thing. It was a big thing. They were like, "Ah."
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. I'll bet she'll do it once, and everybody will be shocked. They're like, "What? You're here?" Yeah, I just know you so well. Now, you know what too, because you value sleep.
Anthea:
I do.
Sheila Bella:
So do I. So that we can show up 110% during our waking hours.
Anthea:
That's true. I think, yeah, it's a balance whatever works for you. This is one thing I've realized, and we're discovering as well. You wake up at a certain time. Does it work for you? And the people are like, "I woke up at four or five o'clock in the morning." But they don't do anything. You know what I mean? And I was like, "Okay." They're like ... Cool. Congratulations.
Sheila Bella:
Great.
Anthea:
[inaudible 00:22:19].
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
But the reason why you woke up early or stayed up late, whatever you want to do, but what are you doing in that time? Is when I will applaud you, or applaud myself. You know what I mean? That's when it matters I think. Because people are like, "I woke up." You're like, "All right, you ... What are you doing?"
Sheila Bella:
Great.
Anthea:
Yeah. [crosstalk 00:22:41].
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh, you're so in my head. Sorry, you guys. Sorry, but yeah, I've ... I've had people tell me that too. And I'm like, "Great. You went to the living room. Great. I hear you, baby steps, right." But I don't know, I just do a lot, okay. So I just have a different journey. I just have a different journey.
Anthea:
Everyone has a different journey.
Sheila Bella:
And a different goal.
Anthea:
Different journey, different goal.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I think that's important to note too. That's so funny. Okay, next. Oh, wait, we talked about that. Are you a permanent makeup artist who's struggling to get the healed results that you crave, and you desire? When a client walks out of your salon, you're like, "Oh my goodness, I did so amazing, she's going to love them, they're going to look so good." But when she comes back after a few weeks, you're like, "Wah, wah. Where did the product go? Where did my work go? Most of it is gone, or half of it is gone."
Let me tell you that ever since switching to Tina Davies products, my retention is 90% for microblading, which is super high for microblading. Hello. And my healed work, you guys, comes back brown. Not blue, not green, not purple, not red, yellow, orange. Brown. My customers are happy, I'm happy, all my artists are happy. It's such a win-win.
And I can't thank Tina Davies enough for inventing such easy to use products that are simple, and quite frankly, made for the artist, by an amazing artist. So Pretty Rich listeners get 15% off if you just type in the code Sheila Bella. Just go to tinadavies.com. Type in Sheila Bella, and receive 15% off your order. Nicole asks, "How do you have ..." Oh, "Do you think it's possible to have multiple careers?"
Anthea:
I think so. Because look at The Rock, Dwayne Johnson. He has a crap ton of careers.
Sheila Bella:
Didn't he just come out with some headphones?
Anthea:
He's working with Under Armor, and multiple things. He is crushing it in the movie game, making a crap ton of money. Dude has his own production company. He is a wrestler. He is also an uninvited motivational speaker. You know what I mean? He just became a motivational speaker because of what he's done, right.
Sheila Bella:
He's a father too.
Anthea:
And a father.
Sheila Bella:
And a husband.
Anthea:
And a husband. And crushing life.
Sheila Bella:
That's a career. Yeah.
Anthea:
That's a hell of a career. That's the hardest career. But yeah, so there.
Sheila Bella:
Definitely. I do think though that sometimes when people have too many focus points, that it can get diluted. And it depends on the person. If you can be disciplined into working on one thing, and seeing it through, or working on multiple things, and seeing all of those things through, I think it comes down to the person, and your commitment to it. You need to be consistent with all of those things. But yeah, absolutely. I'm a microblader, but I had to focus on that first.
Anthea:
Yes. That's hence ... That's your ... You gained accountability for yourself first, and you're like, "I mastered this."
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
And then you branched out even more, and you're like, "Ooh, what else could I do?" That's you leveling up as a person. But you literally have created your own different careers, even for yourself. You're like, there is no ... No ones ever done this. Sheila will do it. So you hence made your own actual career, which is hard as hell. But you know what I mean? I believe that. And yeah, that's in acting, singing, I believe in that same thing too. There's so many platforms. But what way are you going to break in?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. You have to break in.
Anthea:
Yes. And you have to hold yourself accountable, because see it through. See it through. See one thing through, and then see if you can do ... Hold accountability with yourself. Because some people are like, "Oh, I want to do this." And do nothing.
Sheila Bella:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Anthea:
Then we've got a problem. Then you won't have any careers, you'll just have hobbies. Let's just be honest there.
Sheila Bella:
I know. I know what you mean. The next question is, "How do you still start your business after having bad training?" That's the end. That's the end. If you have bad training, how do you still start it? You get good training then.
Anthea:
Yeah, girl, get up. Get up. And you are blaming. Don't blame. Don't blame.
Sheila Bella:
Don't blame the mistake, learn from it.
Anthea:
Learn. You grow. Grow.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
Get up.
Sheila Bella:
Get up.
Anthea:
That is not ... That is a quote for a reason. Get up. If you had bad training, know now that you had a bad experience, bad training, bad coaching, whatever, and you can learn. Now you know what is bad, and what didn't work for you, right.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Don't start. Don't start because you have bad training. Get good training first.
Anthea:
Yes, yes. You can always learn.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
Growth mindset.
Sheila Bella:
Growth mind ... So get good training. That's how you start. Get good training, know what you need to know, and then start your business. But I understand the remorse of spending thousands of dollars on this thing that you thought was going to be the best thing ever. I understand that remorse. I understand that you thought that this was now going to catapult your business.
But yeah, you can't waste time sulking. You can't waste time sulking on how much money you wasted. You know how much money I wasted on cable TV ads? $35,000. Look at my face. I'm smiling. I'm still ... If I was still ... You just need to move. You need to fix it. So I'm like, "Oh, it's Facebook ads. Okay." So that money hurt. It's bye-bye now. But yeah.
Anthea:
And still start your business. No matter what. And you always seek out more information always. And you've been running your business for a long time. So it's not even just one bad training. Why you done? Why was there a period at the end? How do you still start your business after bad training? You start your business still.
Sheila Bella:
You still start it, and get good training.
Anthea:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, there's no period.
Anthea:
There's no period.
Sheila Bella:
Uh-uh.
Anthea:
[crosstalk 00:29:34]. Incomplete sentences.
Sheila Bella:
It's incomplete. Yeah.
Anthea:
Okay.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I walked out there, and Julia and Val were like, "You're done?" And I was like, "Done? I quit when I'm dead." They thought I was done for the day. But even then, I'm like, "I'm still working." I'm still working. Oh, you know what I was going to mention too? When we were talking about, can you have multiple careers? So there's this concept of life mastery. And how life mastery happens, it happens when the lines between work and play are blurred.
Anthea:
Yes. Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. So right now, are we working, or are we playing right now, Anthea?
Anthea:
Blurred lines.
Sheila Bella:
We're doing both. Robin Thicke style.
Anthea:
That's the song.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I know.
Anthea:
I was like ...
Sheila Bella:
Have you heard the [Leia 00:30:32] [inaudible 00:30:32] rendition?
Anthea:
No.
Sheila Bella:
I'm not even going to talk about that.
Anthea:
Okay.
Sheila Bella:
Okay, well it's in the podcast. Google it if you dare. Sorry, Leia, I love you, but not that rendition. Sorry. Yeah. So yeah, it's when the lines between work and play are blurred.
Anthea:
Life mastery.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. So to the woman who was asking is it possible to have multiple careers, I wouldn't have even think of it as that binary. I would think of it as just using your skills. Using your skills, and doing everything with passion, finding meaning in even mundane things. And a career will come out of that. For example, I have trouble introducing myself to strangers. What do you do?
Anthea:
I do it all.
Sheila Bella:
I mean, I'm just me. I'm just me. And I'm looking for ways to make the world better by being me. You know what I mean?
Anthea:
I so do.
Sheila Bella:
So I don't even know what this is. I'm just me for a living.
Anthea:
And you keep growing. And you're morphing every time. That's true. That's true. That why I think everyone is a mutant. But that's another thing. But yeah. I do, I do.
Sheila Bella:
We're getting deeper and deeper.
Anthea:
Okay, cool.
Sheila Bella:
Okay, last question is ...
Anthea:
Oh, okay.
Sheila Bella:
"How do you deal with haters and keeping up your confidence and motivation when you have haters?"
Anthea:
Okay.
Sheila Bella:
I'm going to let you talk, because ... How do you deal with haters?
Anthea:
How do you deal with haters? You've got to know yourself. 110%. Know what you stand for, know what you like, know what you don't like. If you know yourself, and how you show up into the world, and you show up as her, or him, or it, or them, then no one can penetrate you. You just say, "Thank you." Forgive, and go on. But if you allow them to do that, that means you need to know yourself a little bit more.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. That's so crazy. That's so true. It is self awareness.
Anthea:
Hashtag self awareness.
Sheila Bella:
Wow.
Anthea:
For sure.
Sheila Bella:
I didn't think you were going to say that. Wow, just blew my mind. It is self awareness.
Anthea:
Oh, who was it? It was [inaudible 00:33:01] who was like ... He went bankrupt, and he had this story, and he was like, "I'm [inaudible 00:33:09] to share my story because it's not a good story." And he was like, but it made him. So there is no ...
Sheila Bella:
Bad story.
Anthea:
There is no bad story, it's just a story, or whatever story ... Whatever thing that you give it. So it's now ... It's out in the open. You can't harm him. He knows it. He is hashtag self aware.
Sheila Bella:
Wow.
Anthea:
[inaudible 00:33:32].
Sheila Bella:
Wow. Boom [inaudible 00:33:35] indeed. Yeah, I just did a podcast this morning for Courtney Clarke. And she asked me, I don't know how it came up, she asked me about how I was back then verus now. She's like, "Just tell everybody exactly how hot of a mess you were in 2010." And I was like, "You can look it up on YouTube. You could look it up on YouTube."
Because there's this video of me at a club, at BARDOT. Yeah, BARDOT nightclub in Hollywood. I was out that night, Anthea, I was out. I was out that night. I think I was getting over someone. I don't even know. I was just a mess. And I was wearing almost nothing. And I remember, I had my hands like this. And then all of a sudden, I see this camera crew, and I see lights right on my cleavage, right.
And I didn't care. I was saying, "Oh, hi." And then I said something like ... The host was like, "Oh, sweetheart, what's your name?" And then I said, "I'm Shelia Ferrari, like the car." And the host was like, "Sheila Ferrari, like the car. Of course." And I've shown that to some people now. And I think one of the girls that used to work here said something like, "That is so cool that you are not embarrassed to show me that."
And I was like, "That was embarrassing? Oh, I guess it was." I was supposed to be embarrassed. Yeah, so I'm like, "Oh, but that's part of me." And I'm sure that got comments. But yeah, every single time I think I've been deeply effected by somebody's comments was because, yeah, I wasn't sure of myself.
Anthea:
Yes, ma'am.
Sheila Bella:
And you know what, and that actually also is applicable to when family members that you love criticize you. When you're uncertain of yourself, it will affect you.
Anthea:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Right. Like your mom.
Anthea:
Like my mom.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
I didn't know myself back then. And so whatever anyone said, I took it personally, super personally. I took in the energy, took in everything. And I was like, "Oh, I'm going to change myself." But then somebody else will come in and have a new identity for you, and you will also take that in. And so you're like, "Okay, well ..."
Sheila Bella:
Who am I now? Who am I now? Who am I now?
Anthea:
No one is going to ever be pleased. Some of them will always have an opinion. But what is your opinion of yourself? And how do you want ... Because then you're like, "Oh, I'm good, thank you. I don't do that." Or, "I do like that." But that's you. Even if it is your husband, or your wife, or your closest friends. And those are the ones that are actually the ones that would like to often speak up.
Sheila Bella:
True.
Anthea:
They're like, "You should be like this." You're like, "Actually, I changed since we talked last. And that's okay. And that's okay." But yeah.
Sheila Bella:
That's another thing too is, giving yourself grace to show up as you are today.
Anthea:
Yup.
Sheila Bella:
Who you are today, not who you were yesterday. We are tied to our old identities, because we've been telling ourselves that story, like I told myself the story that I was a bimbo, and I'm not ever going to amount to anything, because I need to marry rich in order to be able to afford this handbag, or the house that I want. I told myself that story repeatedly. And it's about telling yourself a new story about, who are you today? And that's ever changing.
Anthea:
Ever changing.
Sheila Bella:
Yes. So I have questions for you though.
Anthea:
Oh.
Sheila Bella:
So you recently lost how many pounds through this 12 week shred with Christine Hronic.
Anthea:
Oh, so with my Christine Hronic.
Sheila Bella:
She just forgot she lost all this weight right now [inaudible 00:37:50].
Anthea:
Yeah, I lost 13 something pounds. But most importantly, I lost, I don't want to round up. So 14 pounds for weight. Weight. And I lost four inches off my waist. I think it's probably 4.5. I just keep rounding up. But that was a huge shift for me, because I used to identify with a weight number, like 125 pounds. 125 pounds was healthy. Where the hell did I come up with that number? I don't know. I don't know. We're all different makeups.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
And then I was like ... Not even 125. [inaudible 00:38:30] went down to 115. And then I was like, "I'm not at that number. I'm not healthy." But I saw my body, I was like, "Well, I was a lot ..." I looked a lot better than I did now. But so the mindset that I had for identifying with a random number that I chose out of nowhere, and then the actual physical makeup of my body, is totally different. Because we're all different. We're all made up different physically, and spiritually, mentally, that whole thing.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, yeah.
Anthea:
But it really ... I was like, "Wait a second. What?" I lost this much weight. But physically, I'm ...
Sheila Bella:
Am I healthy?
Anthea:
Am I healthy? And is there change? Yes, I was like, "Wow." So sometimes even if the number didn't move, but my pant size went down. And it takes a little bit for me to realize how much weight I've lost, and how much my body has lost. Because when I go shopping now, a size small, or a size three. And I was like, "That's for toddlers." I can close it.
Literally, I bought it, and then I'm trying. I was like, "It's not going to fit." In my head. And I say, "Cancel, cancel, cancel." That's my new thing. Cancel, cancel, cancel. So every time I have a bad thought, that was from David Meltzer. It was like, "Cancel, cancel, cancel." And change my thought. And I'd slip it on, I was like, "Oh. Oh, it went over my legs." Then I went, I was like, "Oh, it's semi closing. Oh, it closed. Oh, okay." The zipper. "Oh, the zipper went up." And I was like ...
Sheila Bella:
And you're at the weight number where you used to feel bigger.
Anthea:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Ah, so weird.
Anthea:
Yup. I had to constantly be aware of that. You're like, "It's okay, it's okay, trust the process." Because, girl, I was like, "She going to make me eat a lot. Why am I eating so much?? I need to starve." And that was in the YouTube page was ... I was like, "I don't have to be suffering to make progress, or to be growing. I [inaudible 00:40:37] for that."
Sheila Bella:
That's crazy. Because I so relate to that. So relate to that. I'm still working on it. Christine is making me eat a lot right now too.
Anthea:
[inaudible 00:40:52].
Sheila Bella:
I know. I know. But you've just got to trust that. Trust the process.
Anthea:
Trust the ... But first of all-
Sheila Bella:
That's her expertise.
Anthea:
But we also did our research on her, and you can trust ... Well, we trust her.
Sheila Bella:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Anthea:
So find people that you trust, and they give you the work ... They've shown you the work that they've done.
Sheila Bella:
They've demonstrated it.
Anthea:
There you go.
Sheila Bella:
They've demonstrated [crosstalk 00:41:16].
Anthea:
Because sometimes you're like, "Yeah, go try ..." Homegirl is selling stuff she really shouldn't be selling.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Susan can help you lose weight.
Anthea:
Can you, Susan? You know what I mean? But you do your own research for the people that you want to invest in, and whatever.
Sheila Bella:
Agree. Agree.
Anthea:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
I love your ring. You have three.
Anthea:
Engagement, wedding ring, and mama.
Sheila Bella:
Look at mine. It's ceramic.
Anthea:
Oh.
Sheila Bella:
Because my diamond fell off in Houston.
Anthea:
What?
Sheila Bella:
It was Will's great grandmother's diamond, and I saw my ring agape. Agape. And I was ... Thank God I finally found it in the hotel room on the bed. And it was just sitting right there. And I was looking all over the floor, and I was like ... I was crying, because I was like, "No amount ..." It's not insured, because my feeling was no amount of insurance can replace this heirloom. It's his great grandmother's diamond. So thank God I found it. So now I have this for now until that gets redone.
Anthea:
[inaudible 00:42:33].
Sheila Bella:
I know.
Anthea:
What? Okay.
Sheila Bella:
My marbles and my diamonds. Okay. Let's close. My marbles and my diamonds. Let's close.
Anthea:
Okay.
Sheila Bella:
Closing question.
Anthea:
Closing.
Sheila Bella:
Biggest aha moment in the last six months? Go.
Anthea:
Biggest aha moment in the last six months? It doesn't really matter.
Sheila Bella:
What?
Anthea:
It all doesn't really matter. The stress that you have right now, it doesn't matter. It doesn't really matter. Yup. It's not that big of a deal. It doesn't really matter.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
You?
Sheila Bella:
Mine is, remember the last tribe meeting we had, and I was really stressed out?
Anthea:
Yes, ma'am.
Sheila Bella:
So I was really stressed out. And here's the thing, so we have a tribe, a trusted circle of friends, where we get together every so often regularly, and support one another. And I had just so much on my plate, and I was feeling all sorts of stress that I feel like nobody in that group could fix.
And you guys were trying. I was trying. And now I know what ... It's so crazy how you just know yourself better than anybody. You already know what to say to yourself better than anybody. It doesn't matter how much somebody loves you, they're not in your body. So what I learned from that time, and I'm still sometimes going through that, is that some things just need to suck for a little while. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be living your best life all the dang time.
Now I know what I would have told myself, even just a few months ago when I was in that time period is, "It sucks right now. I know. Yes, that seems like hell. Dang, that really sucks." I would have told myself also, "It is impermanent. Just keep going, keep breathing, keep going. It's not permanent. You just need to let it suck right now."
Anthea:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. And that's okay. But we put so much pressure on ourselves to be hashtag killing it. And then I'm like, "Wait a second. Wait a ... I'm not killing it. I'm being killed right now." Right. And that's okay. It doesn't take away from all of the blessings, all of the good things. But we have our seasons. We have our seasons.
So if you're listening right now, and you're in that season of just suck, you're the one being killed instead of you're the one killing that it's okay, it's impermanent. If you're the kind of person that I am, super proactive about it, it will pass. Trust yourself that it will pass. But it doesn't always have to be roses, and that's okay. You can still ... Especially with your partner, I would just hold Will. And you can just love each other broken. You can both be broken and still be broken together. And that's where you're whole. So anyway, that's been my biggest aha, that I'm like, "Oh, it can suck. It can."
Anthea:
It can. Just, like you said, feel it. Feel every ... No emotion is a bad emotion.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Anthea:
There we go again. Okay.
Sheila Bella:
How many quotables did we just podcast [crosstalk 00:46:39]. I don't know. [crosstalk 00:46:41]. Guys, if you have any questions, or any topics you want us to cover on the next Pretty Rich Podcast live, in my new sweet warm vagina office with Anthea, drop it in the DM. We actually collect them. We screenshot them, either mine, or @officialanthea's. And we'll see you next time.
Anthea:
Y'all rock. This is fun. Okay, bye-bye.
Sheila Bella:
Grey, say, "Share with your friends."
Grey:
Share with friends.
Sheila Bella:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Grey:
[inaudible 00:47:21] iTunes.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks for listening.
Grey:
[inaudible 00:47:26] listening.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you so much for listening. It is an honor to be a part of your life. If you enjoyed this podcast, or were impacted by this at all, please take a minute to leave us a five star review on iTunes, and share it with a friend, screenshot it, post it on your stories, your feed, your timeline. And don't forget to tag me. I would really love to see that. My Instagram is @realsheilabella.
Also, let's carry on the conversation longer. Join our private Facebook group just for Pretty Rich girls. Just go to facebook.com/prettyrichsquad. And check out sheilabella.com for more information on how to get more support on your beauty entrepreneurship journey, and get going on your Pretty Rich lifestyle. Until next time.
