Ep. 111: Our Marriage: What It's Like To Be Married To An Entrepreneur As An Artist In The PMU, Microblading, And Beauty Business
Have you ever wondered what it was like to be in a relationship with an entrepreneur?
Maybe your partner's an entrepreneur or maybe you're an entrepreneur yourself and you just find yourself wondering: wait how does this work? What does a relationship like this even look like? How do you handle different incomes? How do you handle fights? How do you support one another? How do you keep things exciting?
All relationships come with their own hurdles and solutions but in this episode I'm going to give you an INSIDE look into my own relationship with my husband, Will. I asked you guys to send me all of your juicy questions on my IG stories and...well, you'll just have to listen to the episode to hear how it all went down. 😉
Here are the episode highlights:
‣‣ [04:21] Let's start out by introducing you to my husband, Will Reusch.
‣‣ [06:13] Coming out swinging with the first question: what's the hardest part of marriage?
‣‣ [11:06] How do you know when the person you're dating is the person you want to marry?
‣‣ [14:01] How do you cope dating/marrying someone who makes a lot more money than you do?
‣‣ [18:05] How do you handle heated arguments with your spouse?
‣‣ [24:41] How do you keep a relationship spicy?
HOW DO ENTREPRENEURIAL RELATIONSHIPS WORK?! (Listen Here)
You can follow me, Sheila Bella, on Instagram @realsheilabella!
Here are the links that were mentioned in the podcast!
Free 7-Figure Instagram Formula
Get Your First 10K On Instagram
Pretty Rich University One-On-One Coaching
FOR MY LISTENER BOSS BABES
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You can enjoy a transcript of the podcast here.
Sheila Bella:
Okay, I'm going to start this out. A little different. Alexa play This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan, volume 10.
Alexa:
This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan- [crosstalk 00:00:17].
Sheila Bella:
All right you guys, I want you to join me for a 30 second dance party right now, wherever you are if you're in a funk, shake it off. Let's go.
Montell Jordan:
This is how we do it. This is how we do it.
Sheila Bella:
I love this throw back.
Montell Jordan:
This is how we do it.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. I hope your Instagram stories are rolling. This is how we do it's Friday night and I feel alright.
Montell Jordan:
The party's here on the West side so I reach for my 40 and I turn it up. Designated driver take the keys to my truck Hit the shore because I'm- [crosstalk 00:01:08].
Sheila Bella:
Faded.
Montell Jordan:
Honeys in the street say, Monty, yo we made it.
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh you guys. Bonus points if you record yourself on Instagram right now, doing that and tag me, I might send you a gift. I might send you a gift who knows? But gosh working from home, you got to get creative, right? Because it's the same room every single day. And it's also the location that you sleep in so I definitely think exercise, especially now is super important. And having dance breaks like this, it actually activates your lymphatic system. Do you guys know what that is? Just look it up. It's a good thing. It's just a good thing, okay? Boost your endorphins. I have more energy. So I actually make it a point to get my heart rate up several times a day. I have an alarm that goes off on my phone every two hours, just to make sure that I get my dance break in because it helps me focus, especially when I'm creating courses or podcasts for you guys, I get to get up and shake it off.
Okay. So I guess it fits the theme of entrepreneurial hacks. And this episode is going to be a little bit different because I'm actually bringing in my husband, I'm bringing in my husband for this one. And we are going to talk about how it is to be married to somebody who is entrepreneurial, because I know for a lot of our not so old entrepreneurial partners, it's an adjustment, right? So against all the advice of my podcast editor, we decided to record this in the car. I mean, it was very natural, it was very natural unedited, unfiltered. And maybe you guys can get a little bit of an idea of what it's like to hang out with us in real life and what we're really like in real life. Here we go.
Welcome to Pretty Rich Podcast where you're totally the heroine of your own story. I'm your host, Sheila Bella. And I built a seven figure PMU beauty biz, and a seven figure online biz without a degree, without a fancy website or a sugar daddy. And if you and I hang out on here long enough, you're going to start to believe that you can do it too. How about that for a side effect of listening to this podcast? Because you really can. I know you think, I don't know you, I've no idea who you are, but I do. I really, really do because I am you. I was you and I believe we are all on the same journey together.
My perfect job didn't exist so I created it. The job I wanted, wasn't hurting me wanted nothing to do with me. So I skipped the line and hired myself as CEO just like you can. So consider me your secret beauty biz BFF in case you need to be reminded on a weekly basis that power is never just handed to you, you have to take it. Are you ready beauty boss. Let's jump in.
Will Reusch:
I'm Mr. Bella.
Sheila Bella:
That's not even our last name. Okay.
Will Reusch:
I'm Sheila's husband.
Sheila Bella:
Okay.
Will Reusch:
Do they know your last name?
Sheila Bella:
I don't think they really know my last name, should I tell them? All right, my last name is Reusch. It's my married name. Rhymes with what is it? Summer's Eve. Douche, okay, it rhymes with douche.
Will Reusch:
It does.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. So just recently we asked, I did put a little sticker post on my Instagram and we wanted to do, or I wanted to do. Will had no choice. I'm sorry. So I wanted to do a marriage episode. Okay. Now that we're going to be cranking out two podcasts a week, a marriage episode. I think a lot of you guys have questions about what it's like to be married to a crazy entrepreneur like me, for those of you who don't know, my husband is a high school teacher.
Will Reusch:
I've been teaching in LA since 2006. So 14 years.
Sheila Bella:
So the next question typically, when we go to parties is what grade? Oh, you're a school teacher, what grade? They all ask that, right?
Will Reusch:
Yeah, no, I don't think people really care, but I teach high school. I teach high school, social studies, civics, government, economics, history, psychology, stuff like that.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, then he uses a skills on me. In many ways I feel like you taught me. You taught me about like, I don't know, you gave me confidence. When I met you I might as well have been a teenager in my head maturity wise, right?
Will Reusch:
Yeah. I'd say that. That'd be accurate. Yeah. You were, there were some arrested development. Is that what they call it? Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. So we're just going to move on to the questions. Wow, you guys have a lot. I don't know if we have time for all of these, but let's go to an easy one. I don't know if this is easiest, this is from Allure Beauty Bar. She asks what's the hardest part of marriage?
Will Reusch:
I think it's just the daily kind of grind of it.
Sheila Bella:
Grind?
Will Reusch:
I think you have to just be committed to figuring it out. I don't know, the difficult thing there isn't one thing that's difficult. It's just I guess... Okay, let me make a little clearer. Yeah, you can edit this.
Sheila Bella:
No, I'm not editing this. No, no.
Will Reusch:
It's like, what's the toughest thing about getting in shape? It's like watching- [crosstalk 00:00:07:10].
Sheila Bella:
Getting in shape.
Will Reusch:
Yeah, it's your diet and exercise. So the hardest thing about marriage is just it's the day in and day out of just like, you got to work on this all the time, you got to find someone who's willing to work on it with you. You don't look for the perfect person you look for the person who's going to evolve with you and change with you because we're going to be totally different people than we were when we met. And you have to commit to, we're going to figure this whole thing out.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I agree with you there.
Will Reusch:
There's a funny side, there's a funny, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith they talked 15 years ago, 20 years ago when they got married, divorce is off the table, divorce is off the table. And it was just funny because I heard I think it was Artie Lange the comedian said, well, if divorce is off the table, the murder is on the table. But it's that concept of, we've probably had fights that if we weren't married that we'd probably be like, all right. [crosstalk 00:08:02] Yeah. It's like, oh, it's not worth it, so. But when you make that commitment, then you go, okay, well now you have to find a way out. It's like you're out in the middle of the ocean, you're you're drowning and you're like, well, what am I going to do, complain? You just got to figure it out, you got to learn how to swim.
Sheila Bella:
There's no boat.
Will Reusch:
Yeah, so you just have to figure it out. So I think that that's hard, it's difficult, but it's also really rewarding.
Sheila Bella:
That's nice. Yeah. Yeah, I feel the same way. I think the hardest part about marriage is not knowing who you're going to be married to tomorrow because you could meet them one way, but I mean, humans are ever evolving or at least I think humans should be ever evolving. If they're just stuck in their ways I wouldn't want to be married to that, somebody who's not in growth. And I think the hardest part of marriage is not knowing who's sleeping next to you, who's going to be sleeping next to you the next day. And I think part of it is what I've learned is allowing your partner to "spread their wings and fly" and evolve into who they're going to be and encourage that and accept them for whoever they are in that particular stage of their life. Because I've been with you and I feel like I've been 17 different people, yeah, right? Since we've met, when I met you, I'm unrecognizable sometimes.
Will Reusch:
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think, and people that have known you your whole life, I think I've told you the same thing.
Sheila Bella:
It's true. It's true. Hey guys, do you want to know the number one tool that I use for business? I pretty much use one tool to do everything. To access my website, my products host, my online courses, do my marketing, build my email list and to stay in touch with my community. And I even use it for payments and recurring payments. That tool is Kajabi. Kajabi. Kajabi, K-A-J-A-B-I. I like wasabi, but Kajabi. Speaking of wasabi, one time, I thought it was guacamole and I ate a bunch and it went up my nose, it was not fun. They were both green, okay?
Sheila Bella:
But let's go back to how Kajabi is this simple, seamless integration with all of your payments to host all of your online courses and do your marketing for you and your website all in one place. Guys, I've tried other platforms that wasn't as good. It wasn't as good. It ended up costing me more time and more money. So take it from me, if you want to make more money and keep more money, you got to go to sheilabella.com/kajabi with a K and see what it can do for you. And, oh, you're welcome in advance. And back to the show. All right, next question. How do you know he was the, how cute, how do you know he was the man you wanted to marry? Me? Well, I've been married before, Will is actually my second husband. So how did I know this was the man I wanted to marry this time? Let's rephrase that question.
Will Reusch:
You didn't know. Yeah, I knew before you did.
Sheila Bella:
You did you did. I guess that's why, because you knew before I did.
Will Reusch:
Oh, you could tell I was into it?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. I don't know, once you get hurt your walls are up. I guess I give this advice to girls all the time and I don't know if it's good advice, but I feel like women are quicker in wanting to commit, they make that decision faster. So I used to advise my girlfriends, I haven't advised dating people in a long time, single people in a long time, make sure if you're a chick that whoever you're dating is more committed than you are, essentially. Because I know a lot of girls who are basically giving their boyfriends ultimatums, like marry me or else. And I don't know, I just don't want to feel that way. I feel like there's no sense of balance. So yeah, you were really into me. I think that's a good prerequisite for wanting to marry somebody.
Will Reusch:
Yeah. Kids ask that, especially teenage girls. I don't know, because I'm always in school, I'm around young people and they ask especially if I say something really nice about you, which I say behind your back.
Sheila Bella:
But not to my face?
Will Reusch:
But I tell them stories that I have from dating and stuff where little things would annoy me, I've told you this before, but little things would annoy me or gross me out. Really small things, like a small birthmark or like big ears or something like that would just gross me out about them. And you have a lot of gross things about you, but I don't think they're that gross. Even your really gross things aren't nearly as gross as they probably should be. So I feel like that's pretty good advice for people because when you find the person who isn't nearly as gross as they should be, because we're all really, we're all gross. We all have our weird things, you know? Like that scene in a Goodwill Hunting, he talks about his deceased wife farting and stuff, you know? You see that as the good stuff, the weird things, the little idiosyncrasies that only you know about. I think that's a good gauge.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks. Yeah. I think so, too. I'm glad you don't find my farts too gross. Sorry. I don't fart though, I don't. It's all in your head. That's always you. No, no, no. That was you. That was you that time. Okay, this question is from Effortless Beauty by G she says, how does he cope with his wife making more than him? How does he cope? Cope meaning like this is hard? Something guys, I guess typically cope with.
Will Reusch:
Like living a lifestyle that's beyond what I earn? Having things that I wouldn't be able to normally afford. I get by.
Sheila Bella:
I'd say he gets by.
Will Reusch:
Yeah, I think that people ask me that. People ask that about because you make more money than me, but my priorities have never really been in accumulating wealth. Making a lot of money was never really my driving force.
Sheila Bella:
And I think that's what attracted me to you actually, because, and oddly enough.
Will Reusch:
Yeah, that's part of it. And I have other things that I feel like I get my worth from, so it's not tied up in money and I know really rich people that are miserable and incompetent. I know really poor people that are amazing. So I guess I just don't really buy into that idea too much. I don't feel like less of a man because I don't make a lot of money. I just don't feel that.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. I would say that that's genuine for people who know you in real life, I think can definitely feel that from you, you're not impressed by it, but you're impressed by me. So thank God.
Will Reusch:
Yeah, not the money. It's kind of like when men say this, girls are attracted to wealth and I think to a degree that's true, but it's more complex than that. I think that they're attracted to the kind of person that can accumulate wealth or the characteristic traits that generate wealth, that is also intriguing. So, and I think that that's an element that we have to just like factor into this thing is that it's not just money, I'm attracted to you, but not because of your money. It's because I'm impressed with you as a human being and what you're able to do. And I've watched the whole process of how you built something from nothing in many different ways, many different areas. And that's just really impressive, even if we didn't have money.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you. Thank you. This is nice. We should do this often, get to hear compliments about myself. So yeah, I definitely think too that for a lot of women who might just be chasing a guy who's like an earner, right? Yeah, I'm sure that's attractive, but I mean, we have to think about why us as women find that attractive? What's underneath all that? It's competence, right? It's security, it's stability, but that comes in many forms. If you found a guy that was competent, right? Which you are, that's stable and that's secure and that loves you unconditionally isn't that all you need? That's the same thing. Currency comes in many forms. I have dated a lot of guys who made a lot of money who were a-holes, right? I think I was, and you know this I've been transparent about this. Guys I was dating right before you may have made a lot of money, but oh my gosh, there was a boring or sometimes I couldn't understand what they were saying.
Yeah. So definitely I think it's a matter of what you value, do you have the same values? Do you have the same goals? And when you enter into a relationship with somebody it's kind of like entering into a "business partnership" with someone. So you have to know what is that business? You have to decide on what type of business you're going to be building, even before you enter into that legal and binding commitment. Okay, next question. This one is from Danielle. She says, what do you do when you come to a heated argument with your spouse? What do you do? What do we do in real life? Or what do we wish we did all the time?
Will Reusch:
Yeah. Well, we're not great at it. We're just getting better. I think we're better at fighting than we were even just a few months ago, but- [crosstalk 00:18:31]
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, it's always, it will forever be a project.
Will Reusch:
It's messy. It's messy. You know all the rules about how to fight fair and try to look at what you could have done differently and better and all that kind of stuff. But emotions get tied in. It's really tough. I mean, that social science world is my thing so I know the advice to give, but when you're in the middle of it, it's really difficult. So you just do the best you can. And I think that checking your ego is something that both of us need to do.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. I feel like we continue to get better. So full transparency, we have a therapist and we've been seeing a counselor, a marriage counselor, I wouldn't even call him a marriage counselor, he's just a guy.
Will Reusch:
Well, no, no. He's not just a guy.
Sheila Bella:
[inaudible 00:19:25] off the street. No, he is a counselor, I guess. But first I started seeing him- [crosstalk 00:19:33].
Will Reusch:
Because you saw a ghost.
Sheila Bella:
I don't know what it was. All right, fine, I'll tell you guys this story. Okay. It's Halloween, whatever. So I started seeing a therapist, was it 10 years ago? Because I saw something freaky in my room and I was like, wait, am I crazy? Anyway, I just talked about that incident with my therapist once and then I realize that was the appointment. That was the catalyst actually for me finding a therapist. And then after that, I never spoke about that incident ever again. Instead we dove deep into my inner child and all of the things that was- [crosstalk 00:20:16].
Will Reusch:
Stuff with your parents.
Sheila Bella:
Stuff with my parents, stuff with my plastic surgery, which would probably be another podcast episode in the near future. Yeah, and our cultural differences. So, therapy is hard because you have to have difficult conversations with yourself. Okay. So I've been seeing this therapist for maybe a year or something like that and our first year of marriage was probably the most difficult, wouldn't you say?
Will Reusch:
At that point? No, I think we've had harder years since then.
Sheila Bella:
So we a hard, surprisingly enough, the hardest year of our marriage was after your stroke, there was a podcast episode about that. All right. So Will has, for those of you just entering this episode now, right? Not knowing anything about us, Will had a stroke at the age of 36, that was about two years ago and the year after that was the hardest year of our marriage. Yeah, I would say so. So wait, what was the question? Oh, how do you- [crosstalk 00:21:13]
Will Reusch:
The first year of marriage was the hardest.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. So first year of marriage was the hardest.
Will Reusch:
We started going to a therapist.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, so we started going to a therapist and I think that really helps. And our therapist, I would have to say is the closest thing we have to a witness to who we really are. And it's such a beautiful thing. He's the guy, he knows everything. How do you feel about that by the way?
Will Reusch:
I don't think he knows everything, but I think that when it comes to, [crosstalk 00:21:46] I look at, well, I look at it like, yeah, I think there's ego probably for men going to the therapist, but I look at it like I want to try and learn things and I want to try and figure things out. So I look at it, maybe it's just framing to make me feel better, I don't know, but I go into it typically with like, all right, I need some other eyes and ears and brains on this problem so let's, it's someone I respect and here's my situation so, and here's our situation, so. He's an objective, pretty fair person to look at my situation in this relationship, your situation in the relationship and then the relationship as a whole. So I just look at it like, all right, well, clearly something's not as good as it could be in our relationship so why not get all the kind of help and eyes and brains on it as we can. That's the way I see it.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I agree. So he's really fair. I think that's a good thing to do if you're having marriage issues, I definitely think leave no stone unturned, try therapy. If you don't like this therapist, go to another therapist because every marriage is going to have its own set of problems. I mean, it's two people, two entirely different people, especially us, we come from different cultures and backgrounds and experiences that collide together and you're trying to mesh one life the two of us.
Will Reusch:
We're big on communication. So I think there's a lot of marriages that probably fight less than we do.
Sheila Bella:
Probably.
Will Reusch:
Whether they bottle it in or they just don't get upset as much as we do with each other.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. That's a really good point. Yeah, we're big on communication. We're pretty... I mean, I want you to know I'm not not going to say it. And I don't know if that's a good thing, but that's just how I am. And that's what attracted me to you too, is that you were that kind of person as well. I think we both feel that communication is both our strong points, right? In both our careers and also our personal life, you're an amazing communicator and that used to intimidate me about you. But then I was like, you know what? I'm going to tell you too how I feel.
And yeah, I think what you get from that is maybe more fighting, right? But it's also more clarity. And it's, to me it's a more genuine relationship. If you just keep brushing things under the rug, and you're afraid to talk about things how real is that marriage? How real is that relationship? Do you really know me? I think to be witnessed is why you get married, right? To have one person witness your life and know who you are through and through. I think that's one of the most rewarding things about marriage, right?
Will Reusch:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Okay. Last question and then we're going to wrap things up. We have so many, I don't know which one. Okay. So last question and then we got to go pick up our kids. How do you keep the relationship spicy? Don't be shy. Spicy. Spicy?
Will Reusch:
Like that leather suit with the zipper over the mouth that we- [crosstalk 00:25:06].
Sheila Bella:
We don't have that. We don't have that. Quit lying.
Will Reusch:
I don't know what spicy means because men don't talk like that. But- [crosstalk 00:25:18].
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, how do guys talk?
Will Reusch:
I don't think it's, I think it's not going to be as exciting, I joke around and say stuff about how it's not as exciting the same way. So what it is is it's like a deeper level of love and care and intimacy and, I mean, I don't know if this is spicy or not, but you know what I like, I know what you like, because we've been familiar with each other, we've made babies and stuff. So yeah, I would say, I would say just because we know each other really well, that it can be what? Sexually satisfying is that what- [crosstalk 00:25:48]
Sheila Bella:
Sexually satisfying.
Will Reusch:
It's kind of weird to talk about it.
Sheila Bella:
I am WAP. I am, I am saying it right now. I am. And you know what? I'm okay with admitting that it might be a medical problem. That song, I mean, you make it work.
Will Reusch:
Kids just slipped right out. You didn't even have to push you sneezed, shot across the room.
Sheila Bella:
What can I say? Get a bucket and a mop. Yeah. Yeah. It's spicy. So, yeah- [crosstalk 00:26:33].
Will Reusch:
Try to stay attractive for your partner.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. You like it when we work out together.
Will Reusch:
Yeah. Well, I like when you, yeah, you staying in shape and you the same I'm sure. So, that kind of stuff.
Sheila Bella:
That's true. That's true. I mean, there is a scale right outside our house and if I don't make weight, you don't let me in. No, I'm just kidding.
Will Reusch:
No, I really think what I said was accurate. I think that you just know the "metaphorical buttons" to push that'll make them feel good and vice versa. So I think that's just that intimacy actually makes for a great, I don't know what to say, intimate moments?
Sheila Bella:
Oh, okay. You're being so [inaudible 00:27:20] right now. Why? Because your high school kids might listen to this?
Will Reusch:
No, yeah, well now I'm worried about that.
Sheila Bella:
Now you're worried about that. Okay. That's all the time we have today. If you guys like this type of stuff, if you guys like when Will and I answer marriage questions and keep it on the real real, go ahead and send us direct messages so that we can answer your questions for our next Pretty Rich relationship podcast. Until next time, bye.
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's episode of Pretty Rich Podcast. If you want to continue the conversation longer, check me out on Instagram. It's my favorite place to connect with you guys @realsheilabella. I'm happy to answer any of your questions or simply to chat and get to know you better. And if you end up doing something super awesome like screenshotting this episode and reposting out your stories that would put the biggest smile on my face. Don't forget to tag me. I appreciate every share and love feedback from my listeners. Also, do you have my number? Do you have my number? Because if we're going to keep hanging out, you should probably have my number. So you can actually text me. That's right, you can text me at (310) 388-4588.
And if you're sick and tired of doing business alone, and you're interested in accelerating your success by hiring a business coach or joining our mentorship program called Pretty Rich Bosses, go ahead and just apply. Why not? Check it out. Go to sheilabella.com/apply and we'll schedule a free strategy session with either myself or one of my advisors. And of course I got to include my kids. So here to send us off are Beau and Grey.
Grey:
Hello.
Sheila Bella:
Grey, say share with your friends.
Grey:
Share with friends.
Sheila Bella:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Grey:
[inaudible 00:29:28] iTunes.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks for listening.
Grey:
Thank you for listening.
Sheila Bella:
Hey Beau, can you tell everybody what our family motto is?
Beau:
Yeah, I can do hard things.
Sheila Bella:
I can do hard things. Good job, buddy.
