Ep. 75: Permission to Offend with Rachel Luna! Beauty Business Sales Tips To Level Up Your Microblading, Lash, or Hair Biz!
If you struggle with a fear of criticism, if you know you care a little too much about what other people think and you know it's holding you back, if you're sick and tired of walking on eggshells, get ready, because Rachel Luna's about to change your life.
Rachel Luna is a motivational speaker, best selling author, podcaster, former US Marine, cancer thriver, and an overall business powerhouse.
In this episode, Rachel and I sit down together and we talk about A LOT of things. We're bringing you a lot of value in this episode, girl. Trust me, you will want to get out a notebook and pen for this. Rachel is so full of life and energy and great advice.
We're not just talking about motivation here. We're bringing you real actionable steps. We talk about surviving cancer, being a mom, alcoholism, and business. Rachel shares not only her real valuable advice that will help you elevate your beauty business and really take it to the next level, but she also shares her real-life story with us. This episode is electric because my guest is electric. And you're going to love her.
Here are the episode highlights:
‣‣ [04:01] Starting with some questions for you: what do you want for your business? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to achieve these things? Or do you let the fear of criticism control you?
‣‣ [04:53] Let's be real about all the things you're going to have to face as you strive to reach those beauty business boss goals and dreams.
‣‣ [16:27] Rachel and I start off our conversation talking about how motivation is great but action steps are what you REALLY need to get things done.
‣‣ [21:33] We get into the real meat of it. Sales. Let's talk about sales.
‣‣ [24:31] Rachel shares a little bit of her story and the battles she's faced. She talks about the inner work you need to do in order to gain confidence in your ability to sell.
‣‣ [28:03] To be a better business person you need to know how you're different. How do you figure that out? What value are you providing your customer and how are you communicating that?
‣‣ [32:48] Here Rachel hits us with some tough love on knowing the difference between YOUR value and the value of the SERVICE you are providing.
‣‣ [36:10] You don't want to drown your potential customers in information. Target their needs. Rachel gives us some great advice on how to correctly assess your potential clients.
‣‣ [39:26] How to drive your sales home. You talked the talk, you have your client envisioning their future with you, but you still have to seal the deal.
‣‣ [45:03] Rachel shares her advice for, as well as her own struggles with, finding your ideal customer.
‣‣ [48:20] We dive deeper into Rachel's story and how she got to where she is today.
‣‣ [48:20] We end our conversation by touching on the pressures to "overcome" your past and how Rachel practices embracing herself where she's at and deciding her future.
GRANT ME PERMISSION TO OFFEND AND LEVEL UP! (Listen Here)
Isn't Rachel amazing? She's a total boss babe. I feel so blessed to have been able to catch up with her on this podcast and really dive in with her. I'm sure you loved her too so to keep up with her and all things Girl, Confident you can find her on Instagram right here!
You can follow me, Sheila Bella, on Instagram @realsheilabella!
Here are the links that were mentioned in the podcast!
Grow Your Gram
Online Course Workshop
FOR MY LISTENER BOSS BABES
You can enjoy this podcast by downloading it on iTunes here.
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FOR MY READER BOSS BABES
You can enjoy a transcript of the podcast here.
Sheila Bella:
Hey friend. What's going on? It's Sheila Bella here at Pretty Rich podcast. I'm happy to be hanging with you in this intimate setting. It's just you and I. You know what? I brought in a really good friend. Her name is Rachel Luna, and she wants to give us the permission to offend. What? That's right. This episode is electric because my guest is electric. So if you struggle with the fear of criticism, if you know you care a little too much about what other people think and you know that it's stopping you, if you're sick and tired of walking on eggshells, get ready, because my guest today might just change your life.
You're listening to the Pretty Rich podcast, where you are totally the heroine of your own story. I'm your host, Sheila Bella, and I built a seven figure PMU biz without a degree, without a fancy website, or a sugar daddy. If you and I hang out here long enough, you're going to start to believe that you can do it too, because you really can. I know you think I don't know you, but I do. I really, really do because I am you, and I believe we're all in the same journey together. My perfect job didn't exist, so I created it. The job I wanted wasn't hiring me, so I skipped the line and hired myself as CEO, just like you can. So consider me your secret beauty biz BFF. In case you need to be reminded that power is never given to you, you just have to take it. Are you ready, beauty boss? Let's jump in.
Welcome back, you guys. It's Sheila Bella and today we have Rachel Luna giving us the permission to offend. I'm so excited because Rachel just agreed to be a speaker at the Pretty Ambitious Summits, ooh. For those of you who don't know who she is yet, you're in for such a treat. She is a mother, she is a wife, she is a business coach, she is a cancer survivor. She herself personally has lit such a fire within me to even create this event. She is one of the reasons why I'm doing it.
But hold on real quick, I just wanted to give this awesome lady that gave me a review on iTunes a shout-out right now, it is beautyandscar. She says, "Long time listener. I love your insight, humor and positivity. The episodes are getting better and better. Great guests. You're helping my personal growth and my beauty business grow as well." Oh, thank you so much. Man, these reviews, you guys, really warm my heart. If there's anything at all that I've ever said on here that has helped you in any way, I would really appreciate you leaving a review on iTunes, or you don't have to write anything, you can just give it a quick five star rating because it helps this podcast grow and get discovered by the people who really need it. Our industry needs more comradery, positivity and inspiration. So please, I would really, really love it if you could just quickly leave a five star review on iTunes right now. You don't even need to pause it. You can just click on over, leave five stars, and write a quick review.
Okay, so getting back on track today. I feel like there's somebody out there right now who really needs to hear this message. I don't know who it is, but it might be you, especially if you have your eye on the prize for 2020, right? I freaking love New Year's. It's so full of possibility. It reminds you of the immense power that you have to design your life. Some things are beyond our control, but it reminds you of the things that you can control, and you can control yourself. So I want you guys to think about all of the things that you want out of this new year. Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Most of the time it's not the action steps that stop us from moving forward and growing, most of the time, especially for my clients that I'm deep with, most of the time what stops us is the fear of criticism, and this might be you. If your business isn't where you want it to be, it might be because you care too much about what other people think. If you really, really want this, it means you're going to keep going, no matter what. I'm sorry, babe, but it means that you're going to have to disappoint people. Yes, that's a huge part of business building, but nobody ever talks about that part, yep, or maybe they do, but I'm going to really spell it out for you.
What if somebody that you really respect, pick somebody you really respect, says, "I'm not sure if this is your thing"? Or what if your partner, your husband, your boyfriend or whatever says, "Why are you crying?" Because you know, we cry, we business owners, we entrepreneurs crying, especially women, yeah, there's waterworks sometimes, that's involved. What if your husband or boyfriend says like, "Maybe you're not cut out for this. You're crying all the time"? Are you going to let that get to your head? What about when you get a painfully detailed bad review, because it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when? All my mentors, all of my mentors have bad reviews, and I'm like, "What?" You know why they have bad reviews? Because they weren't always that good, it's true. Zig Ziglar says, "You don't have to be great to start, but you got to start to be great." And yeah, you might have to risk getting some bad reviews because it's kind of part of it, and also clients are crazy sometimes.
Or how about this? How about when you discover that your "best friend" has been telling everyone that she's concerned that you're turning into a real narcissist because you keep posting and filming yourself. Then when you confront her about it, you're like, "I didn't know you were saying this about me." She says, "Yeah, you've changed." How is that going to make you feel? Are you going to care? That's part of it too, by the way. Yeah, this part is part of it. You might think like you're not going to lose any friends, but hey, everyone I've talked to has lost a really, really close friend or two, or even family member because they've "changed." I don't know, some people can't handle it. What if your relatives unfollow you on social media because they think you post too much about your business and it's annoying? This is your family, and they think that your priorities have changed, and it's not a good influence on their children, so they tell their kids to unfollow you too. Yup, this is real, this has happened, not just to me but to a lot of people. I can name at least three people that I know this has happened to.
Wait, I'm not done. What are you going to do when your first employee betrays you, either steals from you or steals your clients, or after you let her go tells you what a horrible person you are? How are you going to react? Y'all, you want to achieve your dreams, right? You want to build a business. Not only should you expect some form of this, but recognize that this is the path. I talk to successful people all the time, you six figure, eight figure earners even, you guys who are earning this kind of money, you understand what I'm talking about. You're probably nodding your head right now, probably yelling, "Yes, yes. Oh my god." I can hear you. Not only can I hear you, I can feel you. Disappointing others is kind of a part of it, and it's strange. Nobody tells you that, so you want to crush it in 2020, right? Well, you got to have friends who get it, because this beauty CEO thing that we're all doing, it is a lonely road if you don't have any friends.
This is also why I created the Pretty Ambitious Summit, so that you can find your tribe there. Support is invaluable. Just finding somebody to talk to when these things happen that no book will warn you about, and most people won't talk about this. But just having somebody else who gets it, who might be going through the same thing, and if they're successful, they're for sure going through the same thing. You got to come to the Pretty Ambitious Summit. It is the first girl power live event for PMU boss babes, and I designed it so that you guys can connect, learn sales, and also get inspired. Check it out. Go to prettyambitioussummit.com or just send me a message on Instagram @realsheilabella, and I will tell you all about it, because I am obsessed with it. I believe in it that much. Now, only for the month of December, if you use the code HOLIDAY, HOLIDAY all caps, you can receive $75 off your ticket.
Now, without further ado, my amazing guest, not only am I in disbelief that she's on my show, but I am even more in disbelief that she is coming to speak at the Pretty Ambitious Summit. I'm so stoked, so excited to introduce to you the one and only Rachel Luna.
Hi, you guys. Welcome to Pretty Rich Podcast. I'm so excited. I'm so excited to have the Girl Confident, Rachel Luna, in the house. Rachel, welcome. I'm so excited. I can't sing, but I like to think I can.
Rachel Luna:
I'm so happy to be here, thank you.
Sheila Bella:
Girl, thank you for dragging me out the grave right now because I am three days post-op, but Rachel Luna wants to podcast, and I was like, "Okay, okay, let's go. We got to do this."
Rachel Luna:
[inaudible 00:10:38] That'll make me sound like some kind of a slave driver. [inaudible 00:10:44] I presented options and you were empowered to make the choice that felt the best to you, and hanging out felt the best, right?
Sheila Bella:
It did feel the best. I was like, "I got to do this." This feels good to me. So I just want to thank you so much for being so generous with your time, because you're a busy woman.
Rachel Luna:
As are you. We're all busy. You know, that's one of the things, when people say to me, "I know you're so busy." And I look at them like, girlfriend, no, you're so busy. We are all doing the best that we can, and whenever anyone wants to spend time with me, with your listener who is listening right now, thank you listener. We know that you have a choice is podcast listening, and we thank you for choosing us, right? I'm just grateful.
Sheila Bella:
Yes. So grateful, right? So grateful for this platform and this community. I'm so excited to be announcing that Rachel Luna is going to be a speaker at the Pretty Ambitious Summit, just confirmed five minutes ago.
Rachel Luna:
I can't wait. I am super honored and pumped. No pressure at all, but all the pressure. No, it's going to be amazing, and if you're listening and you haven't gotten your ticket yet, I just invite you right now to step into your confidence and make the decision to get your ticket because Sheila is amazing, the speakers that she's bringing on, not just because I'm one of them, but the speakers are [inaudible 00:12:14]. I know that she has such a heart of service, as do I. We were talking about recording of how we want to help you get transformation, not just in your business but in your life. So I can't wait to see you there.
Sheila Bella:
Hey. Have you ever been to a permanent makeup conference and thought, "Oh my gosh. I'm kind of falling asleep. Oh no"? Have you ever looked at the speakers up there and thought, "Wow, I wonder how they did it. How are they up there? How did they build such influence and how did they build their businesses? How are they always booked out with students and clients for months and months?" Ever wonder how she built that online course and thought, "I wish I could do that"? Or think, "Oh my goodness, how did she develop such amazing products and become profitable doing so? What are the steps I need to take in order to do the same?" Well, you can find out at the Pretty Ambitious Summit, March 13th through 15th 2020 in Santa Monica, California. Finally, the ultimate girl power live event for PMU boss babes like you, where the focus is on growing the business side of things, where you can learn PMU marketing, product development, and mindset strategies so you can finally break through whatever is holding you back. For some of you it might be knowledge, but for others it might be lack of confidence, or it might be both.
My whole mission with the Pretty Ambitious Summit is to create what I needed 10 years ago. I needed this event, and here it is for you now. Myself, all the incredible speakers, and master coaches right by the legendary beaches of Los Angeles will surely transform you in this enlightening and educational business and mindset weekend. It's a write-off, hello, free vacation, right? Free vacation with your PMU brow besties. If you're coming alone, no problem, because this weekend was designed for you to meet your tribe. This is an opportunity for you to build your own table, the same way I did, the same way we all had to do in this industry. So quit trying to do it alone, because beauty bossing is hard. It's so hard, right? And it can be such a lonely road, we know that, you know that. Here you will find like-minded ambitious and kind women who get it, who get you the way nobody else does in your own circle at home. They don't know, they don't do PMU, they're not trying to do big things, right? My friends in this industry have been so valuable to my growth and my business, and seriously, I want to meet you. I want to see you guys face-to-face. I want to hear your stories and get to know what you're all about.
So if you crave inspiration, genuine connection, and you're ready to level up your personal and professional game, you need to be there. Tickets are selling out fast, VIP tickets are already sold out. So you got to get them before they're all gone. If there is a small still voice inside of you telling you, "Yes, this is for me. I need this. I need to do something different." Don't overthink this one, because you deserve to be in that room. Invest in you. You deserve it, because your life and your business can only go as high as you grow as a woman. So go to prettyambitioussummit.com and I'll meet you at the top, where ambitious women empower each other.
You are electric, first of all. Every time I've seen you speak, it has always given me chills, and I've always taken something away that was tangible and that I can apply right now. You know how, I don't know, some speakers are like, "You can do it." But you always give me something that I can do, that I can do and that's tangible, that I can take action on right now. I am so grateful that you're going to be speaking at the Pretty Ambitious Summit because I think the attendees are in for a huge treat. You are electric, that's how I can describe it. You're electric.
Rachel Luna:
Thank you. You know that I really receive that, and I'm really honored and proud that that's part of my craft. It's something I love doing, but to kind of echo on your point, I get very frustrated when I go to events and it's just two, three days of motivation. Great, thank you, thank you for your inspiring words, thank you for your powerful story, but tell me what to do. Don't just tell me what, tell me how. When I leave here, what are my action steps? Otherwise, you're wasting my time and I can never get that time back.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, preach. Yeah, I feel the same way. I'm laughing here.
Rachel Luna:
I mean, don't they know? Do they not? I feel like what probably happens is that the speakers are not watching the playbacks. They're not watching themselves, because if you were to watch yourself, you would see all the extra fluff that you put in that you could probably strip away and add more impact and add more action steps. This is very challenging to watch yourself, but it's something that I have been forcing myself to do because I have my own event, and as we are stepping into the new year with it, I want the people that hear my work to feel like man, I get to do, I have so much that I can actually grow with because of this 20 minute talk.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, yeah. I was at your event last year, this year. This year, yeah, Confidence Activated in Atlanta, and I loved it. I was so inspired. Yeah, and I think after attending your even, which I blew up all over social media, I was like, yay. After attending your event I made the decision to book the venue for the Pretty Ambitious Summit. So I want to thank you for that inspiration. It was so amazing.
Rachel Luna:
I just got the whole body chills. That's amazing. That's what it's about. I really think that that is what we're supposed to be doing in this space as women supporting women, is that we are excited when someone comes to our event and then creates their own event. We're celebrating that, instead of being like, "Oh, you don't need to create an event." You know what I mean? Like that competition and that. I love it. I'm for it, I'm so excited about your event. I think that everybody should go to your event. I think they should come to my event too, but I love that because you came to my event, and I'm sure all the other events that you attended in 2019, each event gave you just a little more courage, just a little more confidence to go forth and do the thing. So I celebrate you.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you. I receive that. I receive that, thank you so much. You are absolutely right. You're absolutely right. Live events are so transformational, and I try to go as much as I can, much to my family chagrin, and be like, "Okay, I'm out for two days, I got to go." But you know, I got to do it for me. So mommy comes back at 1000% for you.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah. My husband gets frustrated with my travel schedule as well. My kids get frustrated, but every time, it's like with every single event that I attend, my business grows, my compassion grows, my empathy grows, and also my desire to pour more into my family grows. So I think that it's a great opportunity for you to develop more connective tissue with your family by actually giving yourself that space and that break to leave them for some [crosstalk 00:20:50].
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Desire needs space.
Rachel Luna:
Yes. Ooh, that's good. Put that on [crosstalk 00:20:56].
Sheila Bella:
Esther Perel. She's the bomb.
Rachel Luna:
Ooh, yeah.
Sheila Bella:
It's a tweetable. So for my listeners who are being introduced to you for the first time, can you tell us a little bit about you and your life, and how you got here?
Rachel Luna:
Ooh, it's such a long boring story.
Sheila Bella:
It's not boring. I've heard it several times and I love hearing it. I can't get enough.
Rachel Luna:
Well, wait, why don't we leave that to the end? I know this is your show, but let's give them something meatier. Let's give them some action steps. Then they'll be interested in my story.
Sheila Bella:
All right, let's do it. I love the pivot. Main show pivot.
Rachel Luna:
Do you ever listen to podcasts and the headline is super juicy and you're like, "Yeah. I'm going to learn how to rock my Instagram account." Or, "I'm about to learn the sales secrets." And the first 30 minutes is their backstory, and you're like, "Ma'am, my drive was only 30 minutes and I didn't get any juicy anything."
Sheila Bella:
Ma'am. Ma'am.
Rachel Luna:
Let's give them some good content [crosstalk 00:22:06].
Sheila Bella:
All right, cool. Okay, well my listeners, you know what they want? Sales.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah, okay. I love sales.
Sheila Bella:
They want clients, they want sales, aside from everything else obviously.
Rachel Luna:
The sales is the number one thing. Okay. So when we're talking sales, how are these sales being conducted? Is this face-to-face, are we on the phone, are we closing deals in the DMs? Because there's a slightly different approach, and I think that that's important, that we recognize that when we are approaching a sales conversation, we have to understand the medium, we have to understand the platform, and we have to understand the desire and urgency for the buyer.
Sheila Bella:
Well, I think most of these sales, I agree with you, first of all, most of these sales probably happen through either a Facebook ad, right? Following up on those leads, or Instagram.
Rachel Luna:
Okay.
Sheila Bella:
That's the first touch, like oh, here's an ad. Oh okay, I'm going to transform your eyebrows or your lashes. Okay, click here.
Rachel Luna:
Yes. Let me just say I love my microblading, it's amazing. I don't do lashes anymore, and I actually can't do microblading touch-ups for the next two years because I am holistically and all naturally healing triple-negative breast cancer. We can talk about that in a little bit.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
So the first thing that I want to say about sales is that in order for you to close the sale, you have to do the inner work first. I could give you every single sales strategy possible, but if you haven't gotten to the place where you both know and believe that you are the technician, the aesthetician, the stylist, whatever you call yourself, for that client, you are going to [inaudible 00:24:04].
There's a different between knowing and believing, right? I believe that the sky is blue, but do I know that to be true? Actually no, I know that's false. The sky itself is not blue. The sky appears blue because it's a reflection of the sun off of the ocean. Did you know that?
Sheila Bella:
Now I do, thank you.
Rachel Luna:
I didn't know that. I went to science class I learned that.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I was like, you went to Penn State, I served tables, yeah. I was a server.
Rachel Luna:
I spent much of Penn State in a drunk blurry haze, and I was an alcoholic. I literally almost didn't graduate from Penn State because I was battling alcoholism so bad. My father had just passed away from AIDS, my biological mom did as well when I was three years old. See, we're getting into the story piece.
Sheila Bella:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Rachel Luna:
So Penn State was quite a blur for me, and I was one of those very, very insecure people, but you couldn't tell because I acted confident.
Sheila Bella:
Did you need alcohol to do that?
Rachel Luna:
No, I didn't need alcohol to act confident, I needed alcohol to numb the pain that I was feeling. I needed alcohol to mask the feelings of unworthiness that I had.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
So it was interesting because everyone thought that I was confident and secure, but I wasn't. I was really afraid that at any moment someone was going to realize that I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't pretty enough, that I wasn't thin enough, I wasn't tall enough. End of the day, I wasn't enough. This actually bled into my business when I first began because I knew that I wanted to help people, and I thought that maybe I was good, but I didn't feel good enough. You might be listening to this thinking, "Yeah, I feel that way. I know I went to school, I know I love doing lashes, but I'm not Sheila Bella, and I don't have a business like her, or my Instagram feed isn't as curated and beautiful as hers." And when we get into this comparison mode, this is where not only do we lose our confidence, but we lose our joy and we lose our sense of fulfillment and that is when we start blocking our sales, because we don't think, we don't know, we don't believe that we're good enough.
So that's why I say the first step is do you both know and believe that you are good at what you do? Do you know and believe that you are the right person for the job? You might believe, right? Like I believe in God, I love God, I'm a Christian woman, but do I know that God is real? I mean, I can't scientifically prove it, except for the miracles, right? I was healed supernaturally from breast cancer within less than 30 days, and I remember hearing God tell me that that was going to happen on the Fourth of July at 3:25 PM. But do I know scientifically? No, I don't know, but I know I don't have anything else but God. So I'm able to say that I do know and believe that God is real in my life. Do I know and believe that I can help anyone with their sales? Hell yeah. I know and believe that I can help anyone get better at sales if they are willing to do this deep inner work. If they're willing to step aside from the fear, if they're willing to take action in spite of fear.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
So ask yourself. Okay, so then once we get the knowing and the believing portion, then we ask ourselves, what's different about me? This one is the hardest. You know why this one is often the hardest? Because the first response is, "I'm not that different. There's nothing really that special about me. I did not come up with a particular technique." Well, come up with a freaking technique. Come up with your proprietary process. I really believe that this can be communicated in the beauty industry, but you can correct me if I'm wrong, right?
So when I think about when I would get my lashes done, all of the lash technicians went to the school. They all knew how to put the lashes on, but the one girl that I went to knew how to do it in a way that it really looked cat eye like and it lifted my eyes up. I don't know how she knew how to do that. She could've just called it the Carrie Cat Eye, and just said, "This is my process. Step one, I look, I measure. Step two, I actually have you bring me in phots of what you want your eye to look like. Step three, we do one eye and as I'm doing it we craft it together. Step four, we let your," What is that? You pull up the little fan, right? We let it breathe.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, yeah.
Rachel Luna:
"Step six, you rest. I give you a head massage, I give you a neck massage, I pamper you. I put in those little hot towels because it's not just your eyes. I want you to have a total head, neck and experience." Now, I'm just talking out my ass here, right? I don't know if that's how you want to do a process, but what I just did is I created an experience.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
So what is the experience that you are going to create that you can package as your unique Sheila Bella experience?
Sheila Bella:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Up your value. Up the value of the package.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah. Well, you know? Let's be careful about that because, I work with women on confidence, and sometimes they, women, give away too much. It's not about upping the value, right? It's about communicating the value, because to be honest with you, the lashes alone, really good ... I remember paying 150, 250 bucks a set, and then when I got to Jacksonville it was like three, 350 a set. I was like, "Whoa. What are you? Them lashes better look amazing for 350." And guess what? I did not book with the woman who came at me at 300, which was 50 bucks less than the more expensive one, because she didn't communicate the value. But the woman who did 350, and by the way, she didn't do anything but put the lashes on. There was no neck massage, there was no hot towels, there was no cucumbers, none of that. In fact, it was pretty whack. It was a pretty [inaudible 00:31:34] job, but when we were doing the sale, she explained to me exactly what she was going to do and why she was charging 350. So that is what I want you to understand. That you don't have to keep adding things, because sometimes you'll add too much and it's intimidating for the buyer. What you want to do is communicate why this is going to be a memorable experience for them. Okay.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, being a good communicator is so important. It's so important, and any business you go through, any career you undertake, it's yeah, you're right, it's all about being able to communicate your value. That's it.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah. Also, I want to make these little subtle tweaks, Sheila, because you said communicate your value, you are priceless. So chances are you're never really going to be able to communicate how priceless you are to someone who's never met you. You're not communicating your value, you're communicating the value of the transformation that they are going to get.
Sheila Bella:
The experience, yeah. I love it. I love it.
Rachel Luna:
Right?
Sheila Bella:
Absolutely.
Rachel Luna:
Can we just pause a beat here, because I want to make sure that she [inaudible 00:32:54] me on this. You are not communicating your value, you're priceless. You're not charging your worth, they can't afford you. You are charging for the value of the transformation, you are communicating the value of the experience. Remove yourself from the process because it's not about you, it's about her. It's about the woman or the man that's going to sit in your chair, that's going to lay on your table. If we move, if we got rid of ourselves from the sales process and focus solely on them, you will start to see that your conversions are going to go through the roof because you are not coming into the conversation with all your insecurities, and doubts, and fears, you're coming to the conversation with their best interest.
Sheila Bella:
I love it. I love it. Yeah. I think as beauty entrepreneurs it's really hard not to take it personally. So thank you for differentiating that.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, because we're artists. We're artists, and so we have such an emotional attachment to our artistry, and our hands, and the beauty that our hands have created. So when someone doesn't buy it, people get down on themselves, and yeah, it really sucks.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah, because remember, it's not about you, it's about them. Sometimes people don't buy because they don't feel they are worth it, right?
Sheila Bella:
[crosstalk 00:34:21] You guys, so important.
Rachel Luna:
It took me ... I had been wanting to get my eyebrows microbladed for quite some time, but every time I thought about spending 400 bucks, I was like, "$400, come on." I don't know if that's cheap or not.
Sheila Bella:
That's on the low-end actually.
Rachel Luna:
Is that really?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
Well, listen. That was on the high-end for me. This was a couple years ago, and I remember thinking like, "No, I can just keep painting them in. It's not a big deal. $400 is a lot of money, I'm not fixing to spend that money." Right?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
You know what it finally took for me to be like, "Okay, this is a rock bottom moment?" I went to the beach and I was feeling myself walking to the beach. I had my corset on for weeks on end, your girl's booty was right and tight, I had the thong on, great. I'm feeling myself so hard that I go and I get in the water. I'm just like, I wish you could've seen me, just frolicking. Come out, pack up all my stuff, still thinking that I'm looking fly. I catch a reflection of myself in the mirror, there's no eyebrows. The eyebrows are gone. The hair does not look cute like it did when I got there. It's like beach wet dog hair, and I thought, "Wait a second. I need to love myself a little bit more because there's no way in hell I'm fixing to walk around town with no eyebrows. It's over, it's over, I'm done." I booked that appointment the very same afternoon.
Sheila Bella:
Wow. You had to hit rock bottom.
Rachel Luna:
I had to hit rock bottom.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
Sometimes you have to help your buyer either feel a rock bottom moment or aspire to something greater. Because some people don't like to sell from pain, so if you're the kind of girl who is like, "But I don't want to make them feel bad." Okay, fine. Sell them the J.Lo brow, because that girl always looks flawless. I don't know if her brows are microbladed or whatever, but sell them the experience that they're aspiring to have.
So for me, one of the things that I've always aspired to have is a big ole fat booty. I ended up buying from this woman a guide because she just kept showing me that gorgeous ass, and I just kept thinking like, "Yo, I need that in my life." So you have to either sell to the pain or sell to the vision, but what you don't want to do is vomit information on them.
Sheila Bella:
So important.
Rachel Luna:
Man, when someone just 56 messages in my DMs to sell me the thing, you didn't hear me, you didn't listen, you didn't identify my pain. You did not identify what I really aspire. So you have to ask these questions. So why do you want lashes? Why do you want eyebrows? Why do you want this micro peel? Tell me what's going on.
Sheila Bella:
Yes.
Rachel Luna:
And let them talk.
Sheila Bella:
Yes, let them talk. Pre-qualify your clients.
Rachel Luna:
Yes. Let them talk, and then say, "Okay, I could send you a ton of information, but you don't have time for that. So let me ask you two more clarifying questions so that I can send you only the information that is most valuable to you, because I know you're busy, girl."
Sheila Bella:
I love that.
Rachel Luna:
Yes, and then you send them, you ask them the question. How long has this been bothering you? How long have you? I'm just going to use the eyebrows again, because it's like, how long does it take you to brush your brows, and do you always get the arch perfect, because that's a real thing? No.
Sheila Bella:
One is always a Gucci brow, one is always a Walmart brow.
Rachel Luna:
[crosstalk 00:38:30] Up. Yes. So you have to get into what's really happening for them. Now, here's the really important part. I want you to listen to this hard. People will sometimes think that just having the conversation solved the problem, because just having the conversation is an action step, and every time you take action, the brain releases serotonin and dopamine. So it tricks them into thinking that they did something to solve the problem. It's your job to remind them hey, I know you're excited because I sent you the looks and I told you what we're going to do. I want to remind you, you didn't fix the problem yet because you're not booked.
Sheila Bella:
That's so true.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah. Don't get giddy off of the conversation. We have to follow through, otherwise you're not going to have the J.Lo booty, otherwise you're still going to be living with one Gucci one Walmart. Otherwise, you're still going to be battling with the lashes trying to put them jokers on yourself, and you know one is always on perfectly, the corners are aligned, and the other one is always slightly off, itching you, giving you problems. Let's fix that today. Here's the link.
Sheila Bella:
What's up, PMU sister friend? No, seriously. Do you want new clients all the time? Do you want to end the worry an anxiety over where your next client is going to come from? How awesome would it be to have a steady, I'm talking steady, flow of leads and calls to your business inquiring about your services? I'm inviting you to stop stressing and start living with my new online course, NCC, which stands for New Clients Consistently. Here you will learn how to guarantee how that one client that loved you so much is going to turn into 10 more. There is a formula to this and it works, it works so well. This course is going to teach you how to create new clients off the current ones that you do have. So if you have a PMU, lash, or any beauty business that's struggling, you got to check this out. This is everything. This is the secret right here. It's a new era, you got to shake things up because if what you're doing isn't working, stop doing it. Your pattern isn't working, so you need to get a new one, and this is the ultimate pattern interrupt. So stop what you're doing, you got to go to sheilabella.com/NCC. Let's get you those new clients consistently, and I'll see you inside.
Sheila Bella:
How did you get so good at sales, at explaining sales? Because I thought that was so perfectly done. Yeah, do not just vomit information on your client. Please, don't do that.
Rachel Luna:
Because my friend Amber McCue taught me there's always a process. You don't realize that you have a process.
Sheila Bella:
True.
Rachel Luna:
But you do, and if you actually just take the time to go back and look at everything you've done, you'll find the process.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
So I record all my calls, right? If I'm doing a discovery call, I record it. If I'm doing a coaching call, I record it. What I do was I listened to my discover calls, I read back my DMs, right? I was looking to see why did this person sign up for my $10,000 package and this person not. What did I do differently? And success leaves clues.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
So I just started going back, and retracing my steps, retracing my steps. I also paid attention to how people sold me into big masterminds. How did he get me to give him $25,000? How did she? I remember when I was fresh in business I was not making anywhere near six figures. I had no business joining a mastermind that was $20,000 for the year, but I believed that I belonged in that group. I went back to see how did she sell me. You know that this woman got me to give her $20,000 without telling me what was in the program, without telling me any, no kind of expectations? You know what she said that got me?
Sheila Bella:
What?
Rachel Luna:
That when you join my program, when you become part of this mastermind, you become like family to me and I show you everything. That actually turned out to be a lie and I ended up [inaudible 00:43:15] a refund. So don't lie to your people, but I did look to see, what she did was she reached out to my desire and my vulnerability of I wanted connection and I wanted to be accepted, and I wanted a family because entrepreneurship felt lonely.
Sheila Bella:
Yes, wow. She knew you well. She knew your pain points well.
Rachel Luna:
She knew her ICA. She knew her customer. She knew the struggle.
Sheila Bella:
I always start with that too. Whenever I coach people, we start with the who. Before anything else, before designing a logo, before what to post even, before what kind of photo shoot to have, you really have to start with the woman or the man that you're trying to serve and know them well. Go deep with them, not just a demographic or what education level they have, but what do they really want? It's beyond just beauty. It is beyond beauty. We all want belonging, we all want family. We all want to feel valued. We want to feel like we matter. That's I think how I've been able to create the kind of business that I have, which caters to that. The culture around Sheila Bella is very familial, it's a community, and it's empowering, which I love so much.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah. I love a ... I actually had a call with some girlfriends today, we are a peer led mastermind, and that's one of our goals as a group. Is it to not just be about us, but our families, like kids to be friends, that kind of connection.
I want to take a step back to something you said about always starting with the customer, and I want to talk to the person who struggles with that, because there are people who they can't narrow it down because they haven't first figured out what problem they want to solve. They want to solve all the problems. So if you are someone who is like, "I've tried to do the ideal client avatar worksheet. I've tried to figure out who she is, and it's not working, and I want to serve everybody." I get it, we all want to help everybody. What do you want to help them do? How do you want to help them feel? Figure that out because if you could at least answer that question, then it's going to give you more insight to who has that problem. That's just a nice little spin for somebody who does things backwards. I'm only talking to her because that's how I was.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
I remember my very first business program that I bought when I first started my business of how do I do this online stuff, the first module was, the first assignment was you had to create a customer avatar. It took me a year to create a customer avatar because she didn't teach me that there was another way to look at it, and I have dyslexia. So I always try to show a different flip. I always try say, to whatever someone is teaching me, yes and. The other side of that spoon is to look at it ... The other side of that coin is to approach it from this aspect. So yes, you got to either know who is your ideal person or what's the problem, your ideal problem that you're solving.
Sheila Bella:
That must have been really helpful for a lot of people.
Rachel Luna:
I hope so.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, thank you for that. Yeah, we dwell on that a lot, so thank you.
(singing) Hey richies, hold your tits, mm-hmm (affirmative). My new favorite way to stay in touch with you guys is finally here, texting. Yeah, let's be text buddies. I text my best friends all day long. Let's text each other, stay in the know. I want to text you inspiration, updates on the Pretty Ambitious Summit, quotes that fill my soul, new podcasts, and all of the things I use and believe in to up level my own business and life experience. I teach and share nothing that I haven't done or have used myself.
So text Sheila, S-H-E-I-L-A, S-H-E-I-L-A to 31996, and we'll be connected. You know the coolest thing? You can actually text me back. That is so cool. So homie, I don't want you to be left out. Stay in the know, text Sheila to 31996 right now, and if you already did, high five sister friend.
I want to go back a little bit more into your story, now that you have us so-
Rachel Luna:
Now we can talk about the story. Yeah, now we can. Because they got value now, now we [crosstalk 00:48:21].
Sheila Bella:
We got tons. Okay, so let's go back into your story. So you said that in college you dealt with alcoholism.
Rachel Luna:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
What were your biggest fears back then?
Rachel Luna:
That I wasn't good enough. That I wasn't pretty enough, that I wasn't thin enough. I had eating disorders in high school. That I wasn't smart enough, because like I said, I have dyslexia and ADD. I was diagnosed with dyslexia and ADD, I don't really claim that. I always felt less than. The thing is that all my ... I always attracted really smart, bright, amazing people, which is wonderful, except that when you don't feel bright and smart, and amazing, being around those people can sometimes feel really bad because of the comparison. Now, if you don't compare yourself and you're just like, "Man, these people are amazing." It's [inaudible 00:49:32], right? So I have a different reality now, a different perspective. It's awesome. I have the most amazing friends. They're all brilliant. So smart, it doesn't matter that IQ wise I don't have the smarts but they have, because I'm smart in so many other areas. But at that time, it was ... I just wasn't good enough, yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Are those the same? What's the biggest fear today? Is it the same?
Rachel Luna:
No. I would say that the biggest fear is that I'm not working to my potential. That's probably my biggest fear. When I got diagnosed with breast cancer, that was really difficult, because I knew I wasn't going to die, I just knew. I was like, "No, this ain't going to take me out. I will not die of breast cancer, any kind of cancer, or any breast cancer complications. That's not part of my destiny. That's not what God has ordained for me."
Sheila Bella:
Take us through that process, because that was only a few months ago.
Rachel Luna:
Correct. Well, let's see. The first part is I really would encourage you to be your best advocate and do not ever, never ever, ever let a doctor tell you, "Let's wait and see because you're young and you don't have the markers." Because the first doctor that I went to ... Actually, when I called to be seen by my primary care they told me they couldn't see me for six weeks, and that was unacceptable, so I went to the emergency room. So if your primary care doesn't have time for you, go to the emergency room because your emergency room will then give you a referral for follow-up, and then your primary has to honor the referral for follow-up that you got from the emergency room. I'm talking to those of you who are military spouses, dependents, that's for you especially. So because I went to the emergency room and I got a referral from the emergency room, my insurance had to honor it and they had to bypass the whole go see your primary care doctor first.
Sheila Bella:
Wow.
Rachel Luna:
The doctor that I saw, the referring doctor, told me, "You're young. You don't have any history of breast cancer. Let's wait and see. I'll have you come back in three months." If I had listened to that joker, things would've turned out really bad, because I said, "No. You send me across the street to the [inaudible 00:52:08] breast center. I need a mammogram and I need a biopsy, and I need an answer. I'm not going to let whatever this is hang out in my body for three months, because it wasn't here two weeks ago and now it's here." So because I did that, we discovered through biopsy that the lump was triple-negative breast cancer. Triple-negative is the most aggressive breast cancer. It's also the rarest, it's only diagnosed in about 15 to 20% of breast cancer cases. They don't have any targeted therapy for triple negative. They have to basically try everything because it's resistant, and the tumor that was inside of me was multiplying at 97% per day.
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh.
Rachel Luna:
So when I first went in and then did the biopsy, it was stage one. By the time I got on the operating table to remove it three weeks later, it was early stage two.
Sheila Bella:
That's so fast.
Rachel Luna:
So if I had waited the three months, there was a high likelihood that it would have metastasized, it would've been stage three, probably stage four. But because I was so aggressive, because I did not, I was not afraid to offend. I'm writing my second book called Permission to Offend, and I was not afraid to offend that doctor and tell him that he was wrong. I didn't care that he was the doctor, it was my body. I didn't care that he had been doing this for years. This was not right. So because of that, we were able to catch it in time. There was no metastasis. It had not spread to the lymph nodes, it was all contained in this one area, thank God.
Sheila Bella:
Gosh. Chills listening to you. Really you inspired me to get an MRI and get myself checked too, and that's how I discovered my rupture.
Rachel Luna:
I'm so glad. Thank you for ... Thank God that I was chosen to go through this journey. I'm so grateful for cancer. I have never once said, "Why me?" I have never. I have gotten angry, so there's a difference. I have been angry. I think I was most angry that I had done what I thought was the right thing. I eat organic, I thought I was doing the right things, but when I really examined, I could see that I was lying to myself, and that's what I was most angry about. I had warning signs. I remember feeling a lot of inflammation in my body. I remember thinking like, "I should probably be working out more." I remember thinking, "I probably should go vegan and really commit." So I was hearing the warning signs, I should probably go vegan, and I tried going vegan but I never really stuck with it. I was eating a breakfast of coffee and sugar. I would literally go on my pantry and eat chocolate chips for breakfast, and I would sustain on coffee. I knew that I needed to do better, but I wasn't doing better. So when people tell me, "I already know that." About anything, sales, business, marketing, confidence, [inaudible 00:55:44], I say, "Great, I'm so glad that you already know that. Are you also already doing that? And are you doing that to the best of your ability?" And I wasn't.
So that's why I was angry, but never once did I say, "Why me?" Instead I just said, "Thank you. Thank you lump doing your job. Thank you cancer for waking me up. Thank you for giving me this new opportunity to help so many other women in a whole other way." Because you're not the only person to tell me that she went and got tested. One woman messaged me and she said, "Rachel, I found a lump and I've been so scared to get it tested." I said, "I know it's scary. Please go get it tested because the longer you wait, if it is something, it's going to be harder." And thank God she went and got, and it was cancer, but she got it early.
Sheila Bella:
Wow. That's amazing, Rachel.
Rachel Luna:
She got it early, right? Sometimes we think that people don't want to hear our story. Sometimes I'm like, "People must be tired of hearing me talk about cancer, or they must be tired of hearing me talk about how I'm healing all naturally." I didn't do chemo, I didn't do conventional chemo or radiation. I did lose my hair, which was very, very painful for me emotionally. I mean, if you ever want to do identity work, go ahead and lose all your hair. Shave your head, and then find, and then be someone confidence and who has gotten by on her hot pink hair and her cute style and lose all your hair, and then step into the identity of I'm still confident, even without my hair.
Sheila Bella:
Oh gosh, yes.
Rachel Luna:
Confident, even without the things that I thought defined my brand. I'm still the same person, but better. There was nothing wrong with who I was before. She wasn't broken, she didn't need fixing, I'm just allowing myself now to step into another deeper intimate level with all the great bits and pieces of me.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
And it has nothing to do with my hair, or my brows, or my lashes, and those things are nice. I love a good brow. I love the Kylie Jenner filter because she gives me those lashes that no one has been able to give me in the real world, but even without that, I'm enough.
Sheila Bella:
I love that. My next question for you is, what do you want your daughters to know about you? What type of example do you want to set? If you want them to be proud of one thing that you've gone through this year, because this year was big for you. You had your event, and then you got diagnosed with breast cancer, and then you got through it. What is the one thing you would want them to be proud of about you?
Rachel Luna:
I'm not concerned with them being proud of me. I'm concerned with them being proud of themselves. So I don't need them to be proud of me. I'm proud of me, I did good, high five, Rachel. The thing I would want for them to walk away or feeling like I learned from my mother, I learned from my mother how to love myself and how to feel good about myself, and how to stand confident and tall, and how to be okay with offending people if it was in defense of my own truth. That's why I'm writing the book Permission to Offend because-
Sheila Bella:
That's the name of your talk too at the summit.
Rachel Luna:
Yes. That's the name of my talk. That's the name of my book that'll be out in June.
Sheila Bella:
I'm so excited.
Rachel Luna:
It is. I'm writing it for my 11-year-old, who is actually calling me right now. I wrote it for my 11-year-old because she struggles with confidence. She struggles to feel accepted, I don't know why. I mean, I don't know why, that's just-
Sheila Bella:
Because she's 11.
Rachel Luna:
Because she's 11. I think we also have trauma that we carry with us that we experience in the womb and I had a traumatic pregnancy. So she's healing, but as I've taught her ... I've taught her and my other daughter the very same things and my other daughter is super confident. As I've taught her over the years I can see that she needs a guide. She needs a book that she can keep referring to and do the work over and over again.
Sheila Bella:
I love that..
Rachel Luna:
So that's why I wrote the book. I thought, if anybody else reads the book, great. Good for them, they get a blessing too, but I'm only writing it for her. She's my ideal client.
Sheila Bella:
So good. You're inspiring me to get up and write my book now, because I've been sitting on it for like eight months.
Rachel Luna:
Oh, come one. Let's write it. It's National Writing Awareness Month or whatever, NaNoWriMo.
Sheila Bella:
Is it? Okay.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah, the goal [inaudible 01:00:54].
Sheila Bella:
I mean, I have all these time right now just sitting in bed.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah, well you know what I found? It's interesting because, by the way, we're going to get in my car while we're chatting still.
Sheila Bella:
Okay.
Rachel Luna:
So thanks ... What do you call your people? What do you call your podcast listeners?
Sheila Bella:
I don't have a name. Maybe you can help me.
Rachel Luna:
I mean, it's Pretty Rich, I like the richies.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, my Pretty Rich. The richies, oh, that's cute. There you go, birthed. Birthed, bam.
Rachel Luna:
Okay. So richies, we're all going to go together in my car real fast, but Sheila, I'll tell you this. I have been writing another book called Girl, Confident for four years.
Sheila Bella:
Yes.
Rachel Luna:
And it was not working out at all. Yes, so what has helped me is that I outlined everything with this new book.
Sheila Bella:
Okay.
Rachel Luna:
And just having the outline is making it so much easier to write because there's structure every day. So I would encourage you to think about who is the one person that you're writing the book for. Like I told you, I'm writing this book for my daughter Isabella, just her. If anybody else reads it, awesome. Then from there, once you know who the one person is, it's just think about what is the question that she needs you to answer for her and what are the follow-up questions that she has when you taught her your story.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Kids are great motivators.
Rachel Luna:
They're so great.
Sheila Bella:
When you said that I was like, "I could totally easily write a book for my children right now."
Rachel Luna:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I'm always motivated to do that. Yeah, children are amazing. They're the only reason why I walked through those surgery doors. I was in the parking lot, I was in the fetal position crying to my friends, and I was like, "This is not for me." And then I thought about their little faces, and I was like, "Oh, I'm good. I can do this."
Rachel Luna:
I'll tell you, like I mentioned before, I'm healing breast cancer naturally and I'm doing something called The Gerson Therapy, which is brutal.
Sheila Bella:
I've heard of that.
Rachel Luna:
Oh my gosh, listen. I'm not even going to act like oh, it's so great and amazing. It sucks. I mean, I do love being vegan. I love being vegan.
Sheila Bella:
I'm vegan.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah. I love being vegan. Your body just feels so good as a vegan.
Sheila Bella:
It does.
Rachel Luna:
What I don't like is that I can't have salt or oil, nuts, seeds, legumes, none of that.
Sheila Bella:
Oh, that's hard.
Rachel Luna:
It's so hard, but every time I want to eat something that is not, I just think of my children, and it's like, you know what? For you kids, because to be quite honest, Sheila, I've lived a great life, and I know I have so much more to give in this world, but if I didn't have kids I'd be eating [inaudible 01:03:47]. I would be eating the pastries, and the croissants, and just living my best life.
Sheila Bella:
Oh, thank God. Thank God for our kids. That's so funny.
Rachel Luna:
I say they save my life every day. They saved my life when they were born and they continue to save my life to this day.
Sheila Bella:
Wow. That's amazing. I have one more question for you.
Rachel Luna:
Okay.
Sheila Bella:
Well, I have a couple more, a couple last things. What does it take to overcome your past? What did it take for you specifically to overcome the past that you had?
Rachel Luna:
Yeah, stop trying to overcome it is first of all, right? We're trying to let it go and forget it. I didn't overcome my past, I brought it with me in a healthy way.
Sheila Bella:
That's so good, yes.
Rachel Luna:
I healed, right? Let's say you have a paper cut. Not even, let's go a little deeper. Let's say you severed your finger really almost down to the bone. You don't want to cut it off, you want to heal it, right?
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
So I stopped trying to cut off my past and I decided to bring it forward. So for example, one part of my story is that I was frequently, I wish I could say it was just a one time thing, but no. I was a promiscuous ho who was the other woman. I remember feeling a lot of shame around that, and humiliation, and embarrassment, and I was always scared that I was going to be found out to be this home-wrecking ho. Just as life would happen, the guy and his wife end up moving, or they were living in Okinawa, Japan, and we end up, my husband and I, getting orders to Okinawa, Japan, which is a very tiny island. It's only seven miles by seven miles.
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh.
Rachel Luna:
And we end up having tons of mutual friends. So I'm seeing them. At this time I'm also building up my career as a speaker and a life coach. I'm on the front page of the Stars and Stripes newspaper, the local paper, and my biggest fear was that one day she was going to come to one of the events that I was speaking at and at the Q&A session-
Sheila Bella:
Oh my gosh.
Rachel Luna:
... get up and say, "So how does it feel to be a home-wrecking ho?" That was my biggest fear. So I had to pull an Eminem in 8 Mile move and I started telling the story.
Sheila Bella:
Love it. Beating them to the punch.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah, I just started saying like, "Look, this is what." I had such low self-esteem and such low self-worth, and low confidence. I felt so worthless that I didn't think anybody would love me enough to make me the number one. At first, I didn't know he was married, but when I found out and I tried to break it off, and then he came back, I couldn't resist because he was showing me the attention that I was so desperate for. So I knew I was hurting her, but I was hurt. Hurt people want other people to hurt as well.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
And it's funny, because sometimes we try to tell ourselves that no, I don't want anybody to hurt, I'm just hurt, but that's not true, it's not. A part of you feels comfort and relief in knowing you're not the only one feeling this way. So anyway, I had to reclaim that story. So now that's not who I am or who I was even. Those are actions that I did. Those are things I did. I did that. I was the other woman, I went back. I intentionally chose to be with him after finding out that he was so-called happily married. Those were actions, those are not characteristic traits to define who I am at my core, because at my core I'm a really loving inclusive girls' girl. I love women. I love supporting women. My whole career is dedicated to helping women feel more than enough.
Sheila Bella:
It's all about having grace with yourself.
Rachel Luna:
Yes, grace [inaudible 01:08:40].
Sheila Bella:
I see that's where you get your energy, because I get asked that question too. Like, "Oh, Sheila, why do you have so much energy?" And yeah, I think it stems from having grace with yourself, because if you've forgiven yourself for everything, even for your bad thoughts. If you're compassionate with yourself, then you have no secrets. You know what I mean? So you're free. You're free.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah. I just own all of it. I own all of it. It only means what I want it to mean, and I think that that was a really freeing lesson as well. I learned that life has no meaning, except the meaning that you give it. So none of those things mean anything. Now, you might say, "Oh, yes it does. It means that you were a ho. It means that you were a mistress, it means that you were mean." Well, that's what you're making it mean. To me it doesn't mean anything, because they're just things that I did and those were learning opportunities. That's what I make it mean. Those were moments that I got to learn and grow from. Listen, if I ever saw that woman and she was open to hearing me out, I would ask for forgiveness, and if she didn't want to forgive me, that would be fine too, because I don't need to take that with me. How she feels, that's for her to work it out.
Sheila Bella:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Wow, this is awesome. The theme actually ... Oh, it's the first time I'm going to say this. The theme for the Pretty Ambitious Summit isn't going to be ambition. It was like ... You know what? I thought about it. I want it to be decision. It starts with a decision. What have you decided about your story today?
Rachel Luna:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
[crosstalk 01:10:32] Decided that you're going to be today? What you're going to think today?
Rachel Luna:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. This is so in alignment with what I was thinking. You decide what this means. You decide actually.
Rachel Luna:
Yes.
Sheila Bella:
It's as easy and as complicated as that, you know?
Rachel Luna:
Yeah.
Sheila Bella:
Both.
Rachel Luna:
And you also get to decide if you're going to make it complicated or if you're going to make it easy.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
It's all a mindset really, if you think about it. But here's a fun fact. Confidence Activated was initially going to be called the Confident Ambition Tour.
Sheila Bella:
Oh, how funny.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah, my husband doesn't like the word ambitious. He has a lot of wounds that he's still healing.
Sheila Bella:
Healing from. Oh, it's a trigger word?
Rachel Luna:
It's a trigger word for his wounded [inaudible 01:11:23].
Sheila Bella:
Okay. So funny. Okay, last question before we wrap it up, or second to last. What is your best advice for how to live a rich life? Rich in all aspects, financially, spiritually, emotionally.
Rachel Luna:
Recognize that you already are rich. You already. Listen, if you're listening to this podcast.
Sheila Bella:
True.
Rachel Luna:
That means that you have a phone or a computer, and/or internet or both.
Sheila Bella:
And you're alive.
Rachel Luna:
I mean, hey, you made it. So I think it's important to recognize that we are already rich, and also that it's okay to want more. That wanting more doesn't mean that you're not satisfied or content with what you have right now.
Sheila Bella:
So important.
Rachel Luna:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Sheila Bella:
So important. It's a big deal, especially being a Christian. I'm a Christian too, by the way, and we both help people make more money, right? And as Christians. So I'm sure that has its views. It can get kind of controversial, but yeah, it doesn't mean that you're discontent. Why wouldn't you sharpen your sword?
Rachel Luna:
Right, and it's interesting because so many people feel, like they live in this either or mentality, and I live in the world of this and. So for me it's like I love the home that I have and I also can't wait to hire a decorator to actually make it look nice inside, because it does not look nice inside. I don't know how to decorate, that's not my superpower. So everything is kind of like a hodgepodge, but that doesn't mean I can't be content and fulfilled with the house that I have right now.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, and last question. How can we work with you and how can we find you?
Rachel Luna:
Yes. Well, the first thing actually I would love to do is I'd love to invite you to visit me at rachelluna.biz. There's freebies, and goodies, and stuff like that, you can get on my list. But like Sheila and I have been talking about, if you are ready to do the work and you're ready for real transformation, not just ra-ra motivation, please join me in Atlanta, June 5th through 7th 2020 at my live event Confidence Activated, and you can go to confidenceactivated.com to get tickets. I know, depending on when you're listening, June 2020 might seem like a really long time away, but this is one of those opportunities where you actually get to make a decision right now and make it work. So you get to decide yeah, I'm going to ... I don't know this girl, but she says some good stuff, and I want more of that.
Sheila Bella:
Yes.
Rachel Luna:
So I'm going to take a chance. I'm going to buy this ticket, I'm going to figure it out. I'll figure out the child care, and I'm going to get there because I'm worth it, because my next level of growth is depending on it, because if I want to sell more, grow more, get to that next level, I have to work on confidence and I have to recognize that even if I already feel confident right now, I need to prepare for that moment that will surely come, no matter how confident you are, when I don't feel confident.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah.
Rachel Luna:
So come on down.
Sheila Bella:
Yes. I'm going to put the link in the show notes for sure, you guys, so you can see. Also Instagram, @girlconfident.
Rachel Luna:
Yeah, @girlconfident. I totally forgot.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. I'll put that link in the show notes too. Thank you so much, Rachel. You're awesome. I really appreciate you.
Rachel Luna:
Thank you for having me. I love you, I'm grateful for you. I'm so honored to be speaking at your event, and I can't wait to meet all of the richies.
Sheila Bella:
Yay, thank you. Birthed on this episode. Thank you. I've been trying. Okay, guys. Talk to you later. Bye.
That's it for today's episode of Pretty Rich Podcast. If there was anything in this episode that has impacted you in any small or big way, I want to know. You can reach me @realsheilabella on Instagram. By the way, if we are not text buddies yet, that needs to change. You can text my name, Sheila, S-H-E-I-L-A to 31996 and we'll be connected. I really love hanging with you guys on here, and one last thing before we wrap it up. I got to include my kids, right? #MomFirst. So here are Beau and Grey to close things out.
Beau:
Hi, my name is Beau. I am five years old.
Sheila Bella:
Can you tell everybody what our family motto is?
Beau:
I can do hard things.
Sheila Bella:
I can do hard things. Now fill in the blanks. Hard is ...
Beau:
Fun.
Sheila Bella:
Easy is ...
Beau:
Boring.
Sheila Bella:
Good job, buddy. I love you so much.
Beau:
I love you the best [inaudible 01:16:32] infinity.
Sheila Bella:
Grey, say, "Share with your friends."
Grey:
Share with friends.
Sheila Bella:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Grey:
[inaudible 01:16:44] Mommy iTunes.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks for listening.
Grey:
Thanks for listening.
