Ep. 130: Unbreakable Mindset With Master Barber Arthur Lyle Beauty Industry Professional
Power isn't just handed over to you - it's taken.
That's something that I like to remind you guys of because I truly believe it. Power isn't going to be handed over to you. You have to take it for yourself, believe that you have it, and use it to get what you want. We all have goals, we all have things that we want to achieve, and we all have the ability to take that power and get where we want to go.
My guest for this episode is the perfect example of this. Master Barber Arthur Lyle didn't grow up with the most perfect life. He went through a lot of challenges that most of us probably can't even imagine. But he never let those things stop him. Through his faith, he developed the Unbreakable Mindset, the thing that keeps him going no matter what life throws at him. And it's his ultimate key to success.
So what are you waiting for? Let's do this.
Here are the episode highlights:
‣‣ [11:32] First Arthur tells us a little bit about his background.
‣‣ [13:11] In comparison to his upbringing, Arthur talks about who he's become and why he considers his difficult childhood a privilege.
‣‣ [18:15] A lot of people will experience pain or difficult situations and they'll just sit in them. Others will learn to take those challenges and build something greater. So I ask Arthur when that mentality shifted for him.
‣‣ [27:47] A group of people can all go through the same thing, experience the same issues, and turn out differently. Arthur and I discuss that idea here and how he and his siblings have moved on from their childhood differently.
‣‣ [37:26] Not a lot of people have an unbreakable mindset but Arthur clearly does. Here I ask him why he thinks most people fail to achieve that kind of mindset.
‣‣ [47:27] Arthur shares some additional resources to help people reach their success and achieve an unbreakable mindset.
HOW DO I ACHIEVE AN UNBREAKABLE MINDSET? (Listen Here)
I was so happy Arthur agreed to be on the show for this episode! He is amazing and his story is so inspirational. He's just the kind of person that you want around you all the time, his energy is so uplifting. You can keep up with him on IG, right here!
You can follow me, Sheila Bella, on Instagram @realsheilabella!
Here are the links that were mentioned in the podcast!
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You can enjoy a transcript of the podcast here.
Sheila Bella:
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." That's a quote by Dale Carnegie because today our topic is how to have an unbreakable mindset with master barber, author and shop owner, Arthur Lyle.
Welcome to Pretty Rich Podcast, where you're totally the heroine of your own story. I'm your host, Sheila Bella, and I've built a seven-figure PMU beauty biz and a seven-figure online biz without a degree, without a fancy website or a sugar daddy. And if you and I hang out on here long enough, you're going to start to believe that you can do it too. How about that for a side effect of listening to this podcast, because you really can.
I know you think I don't know you. I have no idea who you are, but I do. I really, really do because I am you. I was you. And I believe we are all on the same journey together. My perfect job didn't exist, so I created it. The job I wanted wouldn't hire me, wanted nothing to do with me. So I skipped the line and hired myself, a CEO, just like you can.
So consider me your secret beauty biz BFF. In case you need to be reminded on a weekly basis that power is never just handed to you, you have to take it. Are you ready, beauty buzz? Let's jump in.
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another amazing episode of Pretty Rich Podcast. Today's guest is going to blow your mind. He is an author, entrepreneur, body building champion. He's a master barber and shop owner. He helps beauty entrepreneurs particularly in the hair industry achieve success through his online coaching programs. My guest today is actually my student. My student and my friend, Arthur Lyle, and we're going to be chatting all about what it takes to have an unbreakable mindset and why it's so important in today's day and age especially in this new economic situation we're all faced with in the world of COVID.
Guys, his story is incredible. I can't wait for you guys to get to know him. For one second, you guys, I wanted to remind you that I am gifting one lucky winner a month of free online course, any online course you want on SheilaBella.com/programs. Yeah, a free course if you write a good review of this podcast on iTunes and screenshot it. Screenshot it and tag me on Instagram. You can post it on stories or on your feed. Tag me on Instagram, @realsheilabella. I read every single review. For you podcasters out there who know what I'm talking about, reviews are super important in your growth.
And guys, I wanted to tell you that I'm so excited because this podcast is ranking. It's ranking in the top 100 on iTunes in the area of careers. Same category as like Grant Cardone, Pat Flynn, Sophia Amoruso. So I am so excited and guys, I did not do that myself. I have you guys to thank for it. So thank you so much for being a loyal supporter and listener of the Pretty Rich Podcast. Thanks for understanding what I'm trying to do over here. I'm really, really grateful that you have chosen to make me a part of your day, a part of your life and I want to be a part of yours back.
So as a thank you for anybody who writes a five-star review on iTunes in the month of December, if you screenshot it, post it on Instagram and tag me, I am going to be giving away a free online course. And obviously, you got to shout out on Insta, duh. So guys, we are talking about how to have an unbreakable mindset. And right now, for a lot of you who might be experiencing a second lockdown, or here in Los Angeles, a third lockdown in the beauty industry, it is hard.
You feel like you're about to be broken. There's a ton of anger going on in the world. There's civil unrest. There's a lot of uncertainty and I wanted to speak on that, because being an entrepreneur equals pressure. And pressure usually makes people better. This is kind of what we signed up for. The decision to be an entrepreneur, that's not a small thing. You chose this life and for those of you who did, I'm sure you know it takes grit, it takes intelligence and courage. And I would assume that a lot of people would say that it's one of the hardest things they've ever done.
Sometimes, it can feel like beyond your pain threshold, beyond your pressure threshold. You know what I mean? So it's definitely difficult working for yourself, but once you get to the next level where you actually have people working for you, I think that's one of the biggest inner changes that occur. Once I started having people work for me, it was different. It wasn't just me anymore.
My success was no longer just mine. When you have several employees working for you even if it's just one, there's almost no resting. You need to continually be turning out revenue or else it dies. It's essential to the livelihood of the people that you care about that you keep going. So I understand that that might be a little bit scary for a lot of you who haven't reached that point yet. I know a lot of people who choose to work alone, and I can understand. I can understand why they would want to do it. It's not for me. I love working towards the same goal because it provides me with a great sense of purpose and meaning, having that community.
I love that my success is shared. It's like a double-edge sword though because the effort that's required to keep this up is obviously like double or like 10x. But the nature of entrepreneurship is this way anyway. You need to always be innovating, always be on the cutting edge, always be improving. There's no safety net. And the pressure of keeping it up does make you better. The constant pressure that I've experienced from COVID, getting my business shut down during this time, having employees, having my event postponed, et cetera, et cetera. All of this pressure has made me better. It's made me crazy grounded. It's upped my definition of an acceptable work ethic.
Yeah, I don't know. But it's also helped me have more compassion for honest, hardworking people and less compassion for those who want to take advantage because they don't want to work. That's the lens I look at life through, and I'm sure for those of you who have this same journey, you understand because responsibility changes you from the inside out. If you would have met me 10 years ago, I talked about this all the time, but if you would have met me 10 years ago, I don't think you would even recognize me.
Arthur and I, my guest and I were talking after his interview and we talked about how him and I barely went to college. I barely went for a semester. I say it was a semester but I was just messing around. I was like hanging out at the bookshop. I was on campus, but like not really. I mean it was a mess. I was a mess. I had no direction, no drive, no motivation. I knew I was in the wrong place.
So yeah, a lot of people tell me that they've seen a dramatic growth in me over the years. And I can only say that because I've gotten better through the struggle of achieving my dreams. So today, let this pressure, let this situation, let this unfortunate set of events shape you into your highest self.
In this podcast, Arthur and I were talking about how he figured out to let the pain, let the bad memories, let those feelings fuel you instead of hold you down. So let me just tell you a little bit about Arthur Lyle. Arthur Lyle is known in Omaha as a master barber and owner of Lyle Stylez & Cutz. Along with this business venture, Lyle also holds the title of serial entrepreneur. He is the founder of the Barber's Eye, one of the region's largest barber and stylist expo which serves to facilitate networking opportunities among barbers and stylists.
So Arthur's success didn't come through without trials. He was constantly surrounded by gang violence, drugs and alcohol at an early age and he graduated with a 1.8 GPA. He is also the oldest of nine younger siblings, but he is so positive and so successful that you wouldn't even know. You wouldn't even have a glimmer of the dark past that he has had if you were to meet him now in person.
Anyway, I'm going to stop talking and I'm going to let him tell you. Arthur Lyle.
Hey, you guys, guess what? I have Arthur Lyle here. He is a master barber, shop owner, entrepreneur, author and body building champion. And also he happens to be in our Pretty Rich Bosses Mentorship Program. But that's not why I invited him on. I invited Arthur on here because from the moment we spoke on the phone, I was just super impressed by his unbreakable mindset, which brings us to our topic today of how to have an unbreakable mindset and why it's important. Welcome, Arthur.
Arthur Lyle:
Hey, thanks, Miss Sheila. I appreciate you for having me. I mean I love what you're doing in your podcast and all your work, all that you do for your community. That is so amazing. Thank you for having me.
Sheila Bella:
I'm so glad we met, dude. I felt like an instant connection with you. I was like, "Dude, this guy is really awesome." So, yeah, it was quick.
Arthur Lyle:
Yeah. I just like your authenticity and just you're funny, you're yourself, you're humorous. That to me, all day long is like it's so cool to be just be yourself, make money and help people. I think that's the coolest combination in the world and I think that describes you.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Well, it's easier to be yourself, right?
Arthur Lyle:
Right.
Sheila Bella:
So for people who are hearing about you for the very first time, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?
Arthur Lyle:
Sure. So wow, I like to consider myself like just the underdog. I've always been counted out, never really had any special talents or skills from the start. I grew up in a rough environment. I'm here in Omaha, Nebraska and I grew up in between two different projects so what we used to call it which was gang violence and things like that. I'm the oldest of nine brothers and sisters. So I had to learn at the early age how to be responsible, I guess is the word, or how to take care of people.
My stepfather was a drug lord actually, or he sold a lot of drugs in our home. So I had the privilege and the disadvantage to actually see a lot of ugly stuff like a lot of troubles at the early age, at the age of five. I instantly became a protector to protect my younger siblings, things of that nature. Seeing all those things, I just had to kind of transition my life and find out at an early age what I did not want for my life or what I didn't want.
So I was destined to be an entrepreneur whether good or bad, but I was destined to be an entrepreneur. So for somebody who don't know me, that no matter what are your past, your struggles, your background, I think I'm a living proof that you can determine whatever it is that you want in your mind and your heart, and you do it and do it with passion.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, absolutely. So tell us about who you are now like the contrast. Who are you now?
Arthur Lyle:
Now, I'm a lot of things, but really at the end of the day, I'm a God's child. I'm a child of God and living full in spirit. My name is Arthur Lyle but I'm a son of the Almighty and I'm just trying to utilize my natural born skills and talents to help other people achieve through what we all have. So one thing that we have in common is our mind. And that's why I'm so great with helping people through their mindsets because I think we all had the same ... I know we all have the same mind.
It doesn't matter what industry you're in, it doesn't matter what you do for passion. It's just now I'm trying to help others unlock their gifts.
Sheila Bella:
You're so good at it. So I want to circle back to something you said when you were so easily describing your childhood, how you had the disadvantage and then you said but also the privilege of seeing a lot of ugly things early in your life. What ugly things have you seen early in your life? I know you kind of gave us like the CliffsNotes version and why do you consider it a privilege?
Arthur Lyle:
That's a great question. So the reason why I consider it a privilege is because when I speak to people nowadays in life, you experience life and you say, "Man, a lot of people were brought into this world silver spoon handed," not many troubles, not many ... Just get to live life. And they experience turmoil when they get older, when they hit the real world at the high school, at the college, once you get a job, the real world, right? Well, I have the privilege to experience that when I was a young boy.
That was why it's a privilege because we don't come from any financial backgrounds, like having money. Poverty is true to my family through and through. So to be able to start something from the very beginning and turn it around is a privilege because if you ever go back to something like you know how to get out of it. So me being able to see certain things ... When you asked me what did I see? So I've seen gangs, violence, alcohol, drugs right in my face, got in my face at the early age of five.
So I knew more about drugs and alcohol at the age of seven than I knew about my math assignments in school. To be able to understand and also to know that I had the presence of mind not to share those types of topics at school or to the wrong people because that also put me in a vulnerable place of my family that we may have been taken or put it homes or whatever the case may be.
Sheila Bella:
And you knew this as a child? You carried that with you as a child?
Arthur Lyle:
I carried that as a child, yes. My mother was very good to me and very outspoken to me and let me know at the early age that I was a leader. I had to lead my siblings and things like that nature. So yeah, I know that. I knew that at an early age.
Sheila Bella:
How did that feel for you as a kid? Do you feel like you're a little ... Because the way you talk about it, it's not very dramatic at all. It's almost like just matter of fact. It's like, "I saw this, I saw this. It's just like drugs, gangs, violence, alcohol at like five years old." But then it's almost like it's just a matter of fact. It's like it's just a part of you. It's just how it is.
There's not a whole lot of emotion attached to it. Am I reading that right? Is it because you're just so numb to the topic now?
Arthur Lyle:
That's good.
Sheila Bella:
Or when you were kid, did it hurt? I just want to get some clarity. When you're a kid, did you understand the magnitude of what you were experiencing or was it just matter of fact?
Arthur Lyle:
That's a great question. I mean it still hurts, but the coolest thing about it is that it hurt then, it hurts now. But that was my reality regardless of the facts. Your reality shapes you depending on how you allow it to shape you. So I took charge. I didn't let it determine the outside appearance of me. Even though I'm broken on the inside, you would never know on the outside.
Arthur Lyle:
I had to use that pain. I understand one thing and that's people make choices versus their pain or their pleasures and would do it for those two reasons. You either let the pain get to you or you use that pain. You allow that pain to progress you, to elevate you. And that's what I did. I chose to use pain to elevate me. I used it as a tool and not as a crutch.
Sheila Bella:
Were you always like this? When did that shift happen when you started using your pain as fuel and your pain as a tool? Has it always been that way?
Arthur Lyle:
I mean, I was bred that way, honestly. I mean I think I was taught that way. I mean because the environment that I grew up in, you can show signs of weakness. That's just my story. It's so funny because for so many years, I couldn't speak about my past. I couldn't speak about my story because so many people was involved. So many people are at risk essentially at that time and growing up and things of that nature.
So I learned at an early age that you have to be careful what you say. My mother always told me you got two ears, one mouth, so listen more than you speak or speak before you listen. I'm sorry, I said it wrong. I said it right the first time. Two ears, one mouth, so be quick to listen and slow to speak. With that being said, I always have the opportunity to hear what other people's situations was. I learned how to put myself in your shoes and listen to your problems and your issues and then to relate versus compare.
That become a gift to me. It became a gift for me at an early age. And keep in mind, I'm the oldest of nine brothers and sisters. So I had to always put myself in a presence of mind of what they thought or what they were living. But also in a protective mode because I'm seven years older than my youngest or I'm sorry, I'm seven years older than my siblings, the first one.
By that time, as they started to know and understand what type of circumstance we were living in, I was a protector. I had to protect them so they really didn't know what we were living ... They didn't really know our circumstances. We're just happy. We loved each other. We had enjoyment. We used whatever we had as a joy. Even though we were in a drug, that thing or whatever, however you want to say it, sometimes we had money. Sometimes we didn't. Sometimes we had lights, sometimes we didn't. Sometimes we had heat, sometimes we didn't. Sometimes we had water, sometimes we didn't.
But the point is that we were together and we loved life. We laughed. We enjoyed it, and so no matter what, nothing got to us. I think that was the beginning stages of my unbreakable mindset.
Sheila Bella:
Wow, really interesting. Is it because you knew what it was like to be without basic human needs? Would you say that that made you a more grateful person?
Arthur Lyle:
Extremely. Actually, my real epiphany of becoming grateful was I was 15 years old and my brothers and sisters, they all share the same father and mother. I was the outcast. I felt outcasted growing up because I was the oldest. My father and my mother separated when I was five. And I met my stepfather and all of the brothers on that side. My mother and father had the same mom and dad, and my dad, all his children had the same mom and dad. I was the only one, and I always felt outcasted. So I always had to protect. I was in protect mode.
But when I was 15, my stepfather, he had passed. And the pain that my brothers and sisters dealt with, I felt that pain. Although I always see my father once a year, twice a year, we didn't really have ... He was in my life like that at that time. But my stepfather was there sometimes but for the most part, the point was when he passed, I shared their pain. And I was like, I only see my dad once or twice a year, but I still had my dad.
So I couldn't feel how they felt to actually grow without a father. And I was like, wow. And then ever since then, I put myself in other people's shoes and I've tried to understand their pain. That's why me being a barber became such an avenue for me to help people.
Sheila Bella:
I can imagine. I can absolutely imagine.
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So how did you stumble upon your unbreakable mindset? Was it instantaneous? Do you think it's compound interest from several years of doing things or is there a moment where you stumbled upon it? Or you kind of said this is just kind of how you are bred, which is a real testament to your mom honestly.
Arthur Lyle:
Yes, definitely.
Sheila Bella:
So you think it was more her doing and what did she do to ... I mean, that would be great if we could like bottle up whatever you have and give it to our kids and put it in their drink or something like that. What did she do, you think, that helped you develop it from an early age?
Arthur Lyle:
That's a great question, by the way. I think what my mother did best to all of us is just taught us to be grateful. Be grateful for what you have. We weren't like a church-going family, nothing like that but every Christmas, we watch the 10 Commandments. We'll sit on the floor and turn at 2. We didn't have cable or something like that so we'd turn at 2 and we'll watch the 10 Commandments and watch Moses and do all of those things.
So, she kind of inbreded those spiritual blessings to us of gratitude at an early age, and just knowing that even if we didn't have a lot of food, we would manage to eat and be happy. We can have a sandwich for the whole family. We'd get a loaf of bread, some package of hams, cheese, a loaf of bread and a bag of Lay's potato chips and a soda pop and you feed six people, six family, six of us, my mother and the five of us.
I mean just those small things, she taught us gratitude. And that gratitude let me know that anything is possible. She also said that we're all created equal. For many years, I didn't know what that meant like if we're all created equal, like man, why are we broke? Why are we broke? I don't understand. I guess some days we had money, some days we didn't but why are we broke?
But later in my years, I understood that we're all created equal as a human, as a race, as mentally. The spiritual, mental is where we're created equal and it's up to you to decide what you want to become. So she kind of put that in as early. I transmuted all of my negative energy into basketball. And basketball became my everything. It became my outlet. It became my way away from the drugs, the alcohol, the violence, the turmoil, everything. It became my outlet. So, when I saw it on television, I want to be an NBA player. So, I put everything in it.
And I wasn't good at first, but I just gave it my everything. And as I channeled all of that energy there, then I got better and I got better. And I put myself around better people and challenged myself every day. And I went on to play semi-pro basketball. I didn't make it to the NBA, but I made semi-pro. So, that's kind of how I started to channel my energy.
Sheila Bella:
Ah, self-improvement, a goal. Hello, these are all the common themes. Oh, my God, so many questions for you. Number one, are all your brothers and sisters as resilient as you?
Arthur Lyle:
I can't say that all of them are, but a lot of us are, yes.
Sheila Bella:
A lot of you guys are?
Arthur Lyle:
Yes. It's funny because what I've noticed about ... You can have the same parent, the same struggles and have totally different results. And I think the resilience from me is just because I had a burning desire to just be the best person I can be. I have so many ideas and I just always felt like, "Man, if I can just bring this to light."
I just always was a visionary, Sheila. I always just had that in me. I can just visualize myself with the best of the best. I used to really have like visions of me beating Michael Jordan in basketball, stuff like that. So, I know that'd never happen but ...
Sheila Bella:
My kids are watching the Jordan documentary, and they're like so into it. They pretend they're Michael Jordan all the time just because they watched the documentary. So, you never got caught up in drugs and alcohol ever?
Arthur Lyle:
Of course, we all had that struggle, right? No, I didn't actually get caught up in drug. I never was a drug guy. Now although I did, like everybody else, kind of get caught up in the aspect of actually dealing for a little bit and our guy caught up with that. Never did any time in jail or anything like that. But I always had the presence of mind of like, hey ... It was just the environment. I had a bad environment. So the environment I grew up in, I kind of had to adapt and survival mode. But I also had the-
Sheila Bella:
Sorry to interrupt. Did you feel like you didn't have any options at that point when you made those decisions?
Arthur Lyle:
No, there was no options. The only option was, like I said, gracefully, basketball was able to ... Once I started getting good in basketball, people started to respect me in that area to the point where it wouldn't have as much pressure on me to want to be a gang member to do all of those things and all those things in that nature. But that still was our reality at the same time.
Sheila Bella:
I posted something the other day how I talked about how the human body is addictive in general. We have the capacity to be addicted, and you can either use that for bad or for good. And I relate to what you said because when I was a teenager, I was really good almost to a fault. I feel like I should have gotten in a little bit more trouble because I feel like I would have matured faster. But textbook-wise, I was a good kid. My parents never had any issues with me. I didn't drink until I was 21. I didn't have my first beer until I was 28 and I was like, "What was I thinking? Oh, my gosh. This is amazing," just kidding.
Anyway, I stayed away from a lot of trouble and it was because I had a dream. Around 15 years old, I got super obsessed with being on Broadway, being on Broadway musical. I wanted to be the next Miss Saigon which is Asian-American musical basically. And a lot of Filipino girls who sounded like me and looked like me excelled in. So, I was like obsessed with achieving that.
Every day, I woke up and I ate, slept, drank, meditated on that goal. I even had vision boards of me as the role, et cetera, et cetera. I mean I was obsessed. But it kept me away from trouble. And I just was obsessed with getting better. Now I know that it wasn't necessarily the musical that I was obsessed with. It was the idea of improvement, a self-improvement because I was addicted to progress and just getting better at something.
Now I know that as an adult, I'm obsessed with a lot of different things now. I've had my hand in a lot of different things. I've been addicted to a lot of different things but the common denominator is self-improvement and progress. So, yeah, I can totally relate to that. I mean, I can totally see that, like keeping you out of trouble because your mind is somewhere else. I actually thought I was like better than people.
Arthur Lyle:
But you have to think like that, right? You have to think that you're better than everybody else. And you know what? It's funny that you said that because when I talk to my daughter ... I have a daughter, a 17 years old. And I used to ... Being in sports all my life, I'm very competitive. So, Kobe Bryant, my favorite basketball player has always been Michael Jordan. But Kobe Bryant, for all of these years, I despised him. I hated Kobe only because he was great. And he was the opposite of Michael Jordan.
Michael Jordan was my era and I felt like Kobe didn't give Michael Jordan the credit that everything he did was from Michael Jordan. I used to have that argument all the time in the barbershop and all my friends. All the way up until this year, unfortunately he passed, but when he retired, I've started to act ... I really have nothing to say about the Lakers or Kobe no more because he's retired. But I knew everything about him and I realized that I was a fan unexpectedly. But it wasn't that I wanted to share, I was a confused fan.
But this is what I learned. This is what I learned from Kobe. The reason why I didn't like him, I thought, was because I thought he was arrogant. He didn't give credit to the right people and all those things. But as I started to study him afterwards, I realized that it's not that he was arrogant, you have to be so full of yourself and believe that you can be all of that, that everybody else looks at it as arrogance. But for you, it's confidence and you have to have a self-confidence to achieve, to do the things that he's done, to do things that you want to be in life. You've got to have the self-awareness of confidence and know that the difference between arrogance and confidence because everybody else sees it as arrogance but you on the inside have to know that it's confidence.
And now, I learned that from Kobe and I appreciate that. And now all these years, I've kind of regretted not being a real fan because I'm like, "Man, I wish I had known that."
Sheila Bella:
I love Kobe. That was [crosstalk 00:34:36] I'm in LA, "Kobe ..."
Arthur Lyle:
That's cool.
Sheila Bella:
Earlier this year, it wrecked me. I thought that was like the worst thing of 2020. That was before COVID, and I was like, "Oh, wait a second. No, this ..."
Arthur Lyle:
Right. It kind of kicked off Kobe.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, right? It kind of did. Oh, my gosh, so many questions here. What are some common lies, myths or misconceptions you hear about having an unbreakable mindset or growth mindset? What do you see get thrown around flippantly where you're like, "No, no, no. that's not really what I'm talking about or that's not really what that is"?
Arthur Lyle:
Yeah, sure. For years, I will post on Facebook every day. I will just #WinTheDay. And I did that for, I don't know, maybe five to six years. And every day, I would just put #WinTheDay, #WinTheDay, #WinTheDay. So I never really got a lot of likes for a while, just one or two at a time. But anything else I post get a bunch of likes. People just didn't understand what I meant by #WinTheDay.
But what most people thought about that was, I think, that it got like you're always winning, you're never struggling. To be at the top, you never have trouble. There is never turmoil. There's never any situations to stop you. But that's not what that means at all ...
Sheila Bella:
I love that. What do you think is the number one reason most people fail to achieve having an unbreakable mindset? What's the number one reason?
Arthur Lyle:
I think the number reason people fail to achieve to have an unbreakable mindset is because they think failure is failure. You have to fail to succeed. So, the first sign of failure is like, "Oh, I'm going the wrong path." So I think that's the number one reason. They have a misconception what failure is. I truly believe that. It's a false belief.
Sheila Bella:
People give up too soon because failure is a stage, not a state.
Arthur Lyle:
I have a quote on my wall that says whenever you feel like quitting, remember why you started. So, with that momentum, you need momentum to break through it. And that momentum is what's going to push you through. If you don't have any momentum, it's easy to get stuck. It's just like having your car in neutral and you push it down a hill or push it down a straightaway, it will go for a little bit and then once it loses the momentum, it stops.
Now what if you ... I used to drive a stick, I know this all so well. So sometimes, I had to push start my car. So, we would have to push start it, I had my cousin or whoever is with me. If my car is not running right, I'll say, "Hey, all I need you to do is get behind me and just push it. It's a little bitty car too, so you don't need a lot muscle. So, just push it. I'm going to put the car in neutral and then soon as I get a little momentum, I'm going to put it in gear in the first gear and it's going to jump. And it's going to start and then you got to run in and jump in the car ready to go. So that would be good."
But I learned from that. I understood that sometimes you need a little push. You need a little push. You got to believe in somebody else's dream or in you until yours kick in.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. Oh, man, that's so good. I wish I could have watched that.
Arthur Lyle:
Wait, I'll tell you. When me and my friends get together, they made sure I never forget that.
Sheila Bella:
Oh, that's awesome. What do your friends think about you, the ones who'd known you for a while? How would they describe you?
Arthur Lyle:
One of my best friends is so funny. We talk about it all the time. He said to me ... This is recently too. He's like ... So, I graduated high school with a 1.8 GPA, very, very low like I barely made it. He's like, "Man, you go from graduating dumb in school," were his words and we went to college for ... I went for a college for a semester only because he begged me to go with him. And he went, "We can be roommates and all of it." So he's like, "You go from cheating on every paper that I had in college just so you can pass to being the smartest person I know." That's crazy, how does that happen?
It's kind of funny to him say something like that because I mean that's nothing but truth in it.
Sheila Bella:
How did that happen?
Arthur Lyle:
Man, I just wanted to be successful in life. And I had a daughter at an early age and I just did not want her to have to go through the struggles that I went through. So that's been my burning desire. I was 19 years when I had my child or 20 years old when I had my child, and I wasn't ready yet. I just didn't know anything about life. I was just trying to get my life together.
But I knew one thing for sure that I was never going to allow her to struggle like I struggled. And I was just willing to do whatever it took.
Sheila Bella:
You think your daughter too had something to do with it?
Arthur Lyle:
Most definitely. My daughter is everything to do with it.
Sheila Bella:
That's awesome. Yeah, kids have a way of doing that, right? You realized like, "Wow, I'm a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for," because they push your limits, expand your limits too. I didn't know I can take on more pain. It's really a game changer. I feel like ... When I had kids, I felt like I entered another dimension. I was like, "That was always there? That was always there?" I felt like the world came alive, almost.
Arthur Lyle:
Wow, that's good.
Sheila Bella:
Right? I was like, "What, this was here the whole time? Oh, my gosh." It's kind of like that. It was almost like I'm turning on another sense that I didn't know I had.
Arthur Lyle:
I'm sorry, you had the Matrix pill, right? Like the red and the green.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, it's weird. And what they say is true. You really don't know. For those of you who don't have kids, you don't know. I used to be like, "Yeah ..." I was like, "Oh, wait, I don't. Sorry." That's definitely quite the experience.
Right now, it is December of 2020. Right now, I think a lot of places are experiencing another lockdown, another shutdown of their businesses. So, I'm in California, so we are at our third lockdown actually. What about you, guys?
Arthur Lyle:
We're not locked down right now. We were locked down for about two and a half months and so we're not locked down now at all.
Sheila Bella:
Tell everybody where you are so that they know where that is.
Arthur Lyle:
Sure. I'm in Omaha, Nebraska. I'm in the middle of the map, the best place on earth except for winter times. We got the worst winters, gosh.
Sheila Bella:
So, Nebraska is not locked down yet but who knows? It might be, right? Okay, there are a lot of people who might be challenged by having an unbreakable mindset because they feel like they're being broken right now like whatever it might be. Their business is shut down. They're angry at the government or there's a lot of civil unrest, et cetera, et cetera.
Sheila Bella:
One thing that you told me, I think when the elections were happening like a month ago, I asked you. I was like, "Hey, so what's going on? How are you feeling about the election?" And then you were like, "Oh, it doesn't matter to me." And you said, "I'm way too optimistic to think that that will actually affect my life." You are such a doer, you are in the driver's seat of your life. You said, "I'm way too optimistic to care about that."
And I was like, "Oh, that is different. It was refreshing," because everybody just cares so damn much, right? So, for a lot of people who lack that optimism right now because they're angry at the world, what steps can they take? What small steps can they take to move them closer to a more optimistic, unbreakable mindset?
Arthur Lyle:
Well, I think optimism is the opposite of pessimism. Pessimism is just negative thinking. It's just positive or negative. I think, to know how to be optimistic, you have to understand what you have at stake. Everything has an opposite. You got up, you got down. You got left, you got right. You got white, black, whatever, right? Everything has an opposite. You have an up and a down. I told my little brother one time, either you sit or you stand. You can't do both. There's no in between. There's no like-
Sheila Bella:
You can squat.
Arthur Lyle:
But if you're squatting, I'm going to guess you're sitting essentially, right? But there's no in between. So, what would you even say instead of saying sit or stand? Don't sit or stand but just be right there in the middle, what is that?
So, you really can't be in the middle of anything. You either had to be one or the other. You had to be on or off or hot or cold. So, with that understanding, you have to know that, "Okay, I have to choose. Am I going to be rich or poor, happy or sad, healthy or unhealthy?" When you understand that, that's the world no matter what. It's a law. It's the law of the world.
It's just like gravity. Anybody can stand on top of the roof and say, I don't care how much you believe in God or whatever the universe you believe in, if you're still on top of that roof and try to test gravity and just walk off and think, "Hmm, I'm going to test it," chances are you're still going to fail that test. You take a step forward, you're going to fall. There's no way around that.
So that's the law of the universe. To be optimistic, you have to understand the laws of the universe. Everything has an opposite. So knowing that, choose where you want to be. Do you want to be rich or poor? Do you want to be happy or sad? Knowing that, I understand that it doesn't matter who's in our office because we had so many of them in our office. And there's been many people wealthy throughout the years of all the presidents that we've had, and there's been so many people poor throughout how many years that we have had presidents. So therefore, that's proof that it doesn't matter who's in the office. You have to choose.
It doesn't matter who much your tax rates go up or down. You have to choose where do you fit, where do you lie. You can't be in between. You just have to choose. And I choose me. I choose where I want to be. No one else can choose there for me. So, I think that's the key point, is like where do you want to be? There's only one way ... I understand one thing for sure. There's only one way to get to where you want to be and that's just know where you're going. You got to know where you're going. If you're here and you want to be here, you got to know that here is not going to come down here. You have to go here. You have to meet it where it's at.
And understanding that, that's simple science is proven to be true and they say that success leaves clues. So, I think that's the point. That's what I understand.
Sheila Bella:
Deciding to be successful, just decide that you will be the opposite of the thing that you're fearful of. It's so simple.
Arthur Lyle:
It's so simple.
Sheila Bella:
It is.
Arthur Lyle:
It is.
Sheila Bella:
But it's also so complicated for a lot of people. What additional resources do you think would you suggest are available to help ensure the success of somebody truly wanting to develop an unbreakable mindset?
Arthur Lyle:
I think just having goals. I think that's the most important thing. Having goals, having a coach like you, having a coach like me. But having accountability, I think that's important. But goals is the most important thing is because if you don't know where you're going, where are you going? If you're not growing, you're dying. I look at nature. I think nature is the best proof to life and existence in business that there is to me. If you look outside your window and you just look at nature, everything about nature is consistent. It's going to happen no matter what.
There's nothing about it that's going to change. It's predictable. It's got rains, summer, spring, fall. You got 12 months on the calendar. None of that is changing ever, right? In the spring, you plant in the spring and you reap in the fall. Those are the things that's going to happen no matter what. If you know that those laws is going to happen, all you have to do is get in alignment. So, if you try to plant in the winter expecting to harvest in the spring, chances are it is not really going to happen because the ground is frozen.
This is like trying to plant a seed in concrete, it's not happening. So, just understanding where you're at, where you want to be and having a goals and using the timeline to your advantage.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah. There's so many clues here that you've left for us. And I think it's things that we've heard before for good reason that the road to yes is paved with no's, set goals for yourself, mindset is everything. All of the stuff is ... I hope that there's somebody listening right now that really took a lot out of this purely because of how you delivered it. Because I can say it all I want, and I say it on this podcast all the time. But a lot of times, there might be people who still are understanding the message because of the messenger. You know what I mean?
So, tell us about how to work with you. How can somebody learn ... They want more of this. How can they work with you?
Arthur Lyle:
I help barbers and hairstylists get unstuck and build their profitable business from scratch. And I teach people these laws and how to apply them in your business. And to be honest, you can reach me on Instagram especially, @Arthur_Lyle. And I'm on there all the time. I need to get on it a lot more. Kudos to you, Sheila. You've been on me, so I've kind of been falling off on my content but I will get back on there. This is my accountability call right here to you, to everybody. I will get back on there, consistently.
But that's the best way to get content with me, is Instagram basically. But I teach people how to have this unbreakable mindset in your business and in applying principles, success principles to your business. And to be able to honestly make work easy for you and work smarter versus working so hard, I think. That's kind of a cliché phrase, but I think if you apply these simple principles, they really work.
Sheila Bella:
Yeah, I hear you. I am going to put a link to Arthur's Instagram in this show note. He's very reachable, just a DM away.
Arthur Lyle:
Just a DM away.
Sheila Bella:
Thank you so much for spending this time with us on Pretty Rich Podcast, for spending this time with me and for your friendship. I'm so grateful to you. One last thing, the last question I typically ask people on Pretty Rich Podcast is what is your one piece of advice for how to live a pretty rich life? And when we talk about rich, we're talking about wealth and all the other areas, financial, spiritual, physical, relational? What is your one piece of advice?
Arthur Lyle:
That's good. What is my one piece of advice? Let me think about that because I want to make sure I give you something good. To live a pretty rich life ... If I would give you one piece of advice to live a pretty rich life, I would say decide on what it is you want and just go after them with all you have, passion and purpose. And just use the ... Look at nature. Use nature as your blueprint. That will be my piece of advice, to be able to live a pretty rich life, use nature as your blueprint and know what you want and just go apply it.
Sheila Bella:
Love it. Thank you so much, Arthur. You're awesome.
Arthur Lyle:
Thank you so much. I appreciate you, Miss Sheila. And you know what? Honestly, I have to give you much credit because nobody has pulled that much deep stuff out of me before, especially about my past. That's so dope. I'm grateful to share it and thank you for that.
Sheila Bella:
I'm so glad, so honored. Thank you, thank you.
Arthur Lyle:
Thank you.
Sheila Bella:
Until next time, guys.
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's episode of Pretty Rich Podcast. If you want to continue the conversation longer, check me out in Instagram. It's my favorite place to connect with you guys, @realsheilabella. I'm happy to answer any of your questions or simply to chat and get to know you better.
And if you end up doing something super awesome like screenshotting this episode and reposting it on your stories, that would put the biggest smile on my face. Don't forget to tag me. I appreciate every share and love feedback from my listeners.
Also, do you have my number? Do you have my number? Because if we're going to keep hanging out, you should probably have my number so you can actually text me. That's right. You can text me at 310-388-4588. And if you're sick and tired of doing business alone and you're interested in accelerating your success by hiring a business coach or joining our mentorship program called Pretty Rich Bosses, go ahead and just apply. Why not? Check it out. Go to SheilaBella.com/apply, and we'll schedule a free strategy session with either myself or one of my advisers.
And of course, I got to include my kids. So, here to send us off are Beau and Grey. Grey, say share with your friends ...
Grey:
Share with your friends.
Sheila Bella:
Please review my mommy on iTunes.
Grey:
... mommy iTunes.
Sheila Bella:
Thanks for listening.
Grey:
Thank you for listening.
Sheila Bella:
Hey, Beau. Can you tell everybody what our family motto is?
Beau:
Yeah. I could do hard things.
Sheila Bella:
I can do hard things. Good job, buddy.
